Last week:
Aaron: 8-6 (1-0 vs. the spread)
Joe: 7-7 (1-0)
Tom: 6-8 (1-0)
Season To Date:
Aaron: 46-28 (2-3 vs. the spread)
Joe: 43-31 (3-2)
Tom: 38-36 (3-2)
St. Louis at Washington
Aaron: After a pair of impressive road wins in Dallas and Philadelphia, the Redskins could be susceptible to one of those letdown games. If only they were playing a real NFL team this week. Pick: Washington
Joe: Couldn't have said it better myself. I still don't entirely buy this Washington team (yeah, yeah), but at home against the Rams I sure do. Pick: Washington
Miami at Houston
Aaron: Can we all agree that the Dolphins should be paying royalties for their use of the "wildcat" offense to the cast and crew of the mid-80s movie Wildcats? Let's divert the funds towards the reconstruction of Goldie Hawn's obliterated face. Pick: Houston
Joe: I just find it ironic that, well after Nick Saban scurried back to the cushy confines of the NCAA, Miami's fining their first success in years by reverting to a college ball offense. Acknowledge the irony! Pick: Houston
Detroit at Minnesota
Aaron: Pick the Lions again this week, Joe. Pretty please. Pick: Minnesota
Joe: I believe I've spotted you a big enough lead already. Pick: Minnesota
Oakland at New Orleans
Aaron: The Raiders are coming off of a bye week. And, they've promised to give QB JaMarcus Russell more freedom with the passing game. And Russell should have a lot of LSU love from fans in the stands. I irrationally pick Oakland once a year, people. Pick: Oakland
Joe: I know I continue to overrate the Saints this season, but if Martin Gramatica had been shipped back to Fistpumpania at the beginning of the season instead of allowed to plague yet another NFL team with his unreliability, this team would be 4-1. He won't be able to hurt them anymore. Pick: New Orleans
Carolina at Tampa Bay
Aaron: That change from Jeff Garcia to Brian Griese sure lit a fire under the Buccaneers, eh? But, as long as they employ Negro Ewok Warrick Dunn and a top-10 defense, I ain't picking against them at home. Well, this week, anyway. Pick: Tampa Bay
Joe: How does a team defense hold the Broncos offense to 13 points and still manage a mere 3 fantasy points? It's almost literally not possible. Here's hoping they remember what a sack looks like this week. Pick: Tampa Bay
Cincinnati at N.Y. Jets
Aaron: Brett Favre against this pass defense?! Let's set the over/under at 7.5 touchdown passes and start accepting that the old man is coming back next year. Oooh, I hope teases us in the offseason by waiting until June to announce his intentions! That scamp! Pick: NY Jets
Joe: Oh, how soon we forget. First we forgot that even the most embattled Brett Favre seasons included the 6 TD score-running-up outburst at home against a mediocre team. And now we're forgetting that he's also got that 3 INT game-killer in him too. Much like that other famous gunslinger in the news these days, Favre's crazy erratic. And wrong for this country. Pick: Cincinnati
Baltimore at Indianapolis
Aaron: Peyton Manning's ascension to the upper echelon of Teflon athletes was complete last week with all the credit he received for leading the Colts to the most gift-wrapped victory of his career. Ravens…destroy him. Pick: Baltimore
Joe: I'm not sure I agree with your premise, Cam. All I heard last week was the evisceration of Sage Rosenfels which, coupled with the quip-happy ESPNers bending over backwards to make note of Sage being a Jew (guess he's got one more thing to atone for, et cetera) made things awful uncomfortable for viewers. But don't let that interfere with your zealous hatred for all things Manning. Pick: Indianapolis
Chicago at Atlanta
Aaron: Hmmm…Kyle Orton on the road vs. Michael Turner running on the Bears' stingy defense. And…holy crap…the over/under is 43 1/2?! I'm taking the remains of my 401K, betting the under and pre-ordering The Dark Knight: 2-Disc Edition! Pre-ordering! (Seriously, take the under.) Pick: Chicago
Joe: Who'd have thought at the beginning of this season that this would be one of the most interesting games on the schedule? Lucky for me, I get to watch the Bengals and the Jets. YEAH! Pick: Atlanta
Jacksonville at Denver
Aaron: The Broncos are arguably a favorable ref's call and a missed field goal from being 2-3. Unfortunately, home field trumps perceived suckiness. Pick: Denver
Joe: Speaking of perceived suckiness: The 2008 Jacksonville Jaguars. They're the Washington Redskins of the AFC, only without the wins and with an opportunity to feel smug because the Bills beat them. And yet... Pick: Jacksonville
Philadelphia at San Francisco
Aaron: It appears the seeds of the Eagles annual midseason demise have been sown. Can't say I'm glad to see the Brian Westbrook injury as the cause, though. But, a loss to the 49ers should cheer me up! Pick: San Francisco
Joe: Just because Philly's the clear worst team in the NFC East doesn't mean they're not better than the #2 team in
Green Bay at Seattle
Aaron: This one just won't be the same for me without the pre-game "Brett Favre used to play for Mike Holmgren" hype. And, now Matt Hasselbeck is out? That's the fill-in storyline for the week? Always, wantin' the spotlight, those Hasselbecks. Pick: Green Bay
Joe: I'd have gone with the Seahawks if Matt "The Only Tolerable" Hasselbeck were playing. Damn him for lessening the fantasy value of Bobby Engram! Pick: Green Bay
Dallas at Arizona
Aaron: Good to see the Cardinals move out of the NFC East a few years ago hasn't stopped the league from scheduling this annual beatdown. Looks like another "half-assedly contemplate retirement" week for Kurt Warner. Pick: Dallas
Joe: If the Cardinals are going to win the West at 8-8 (and they are), they've gotta get checked before they get too ahead of the curve. Pick: Dallas
New England at San Diego
Aaron: New England hasn't beaten a good team all season, while the Chargers have looked shaky against the Raiders and Dolphins in recent weeks. Yep, I'd give them the Sunday Night prime time slot, too, NBC. Pick: San Diego
Joe: What, you don't want to watch Not Shawne Merriman terrorize Not Tom Brady? Elitist. Pick: San Diego
N.Y. Giants at Cleveland
Aaron: Maybe every nationally televised game should just be "tentative" from week-to-week. Pick: NY Giants
Joe: Remember that comment the next time you bitch about the Giants perceiving a lack of respect. Respect lacker! Pick: NY Giants
The Sure-Thing Suicide Spread:
Cincinnati Bengals at New York Jets (-6)
NY Giants (-7.5) at Cleveland
3 comments:
Dear Remains of Aaron's 401(k):
You can breathe now.
Joe
I trust everyone got the same mass text message from Cam bragging that he really DID lay some coin on the under of the ATL/CHI game.
Looks like Jalen gets Xmas.
Indeed he does, Mex. And I'd be remiss if I didn't thank the good people at my favorite offshore sportsbook for making this all possible.
Kinda takes the sting out of an otherwise sh*tty week of pickin'.
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