Thursday, January 10, 2008

TBG Reviews The Biggest Loser: Couples

"I hate shows like this." - Mrs. Bootleg, at approximately 8:00 PM last night.

"You have (the DVR) set to record the whole series, right?" - Mrs. Bootleg, at approximately 9:00 PM last night.

Premise: Ten teams, comprising several contrived unions, compete to lose the most combined weight. There are physical challenges™, psycho physical trainers and dozens of plugs for 24 Hour Fitness.

(Physical Challenge is a registered trademark of Double Dare, Inc.)

Love: Watching people in worse shape than me stumble, stagger and fall through efforts like "run over there" and "eat without sweating". The deliciously manipulative challenges, such as this week's offer of $5,000 to the team who ate the most calories at a late-night barbecue – the night before they weigh in! And, of course, Ali Sweeney, the de facto dim bulb host whose wooden attempts at interaction with the contestants make it hard to fathom that she's an actress – on a soap opera. (I know!)

Hate: All of the usual "reality show" potholes – manufactured drama, a zillion commercial breaks (thanks, DVR!), a zillion commercials within the context of the show and uninteresting "confidentials".

Favorite Team: Brittany & Bernie – Brittany's only about 100 lbs. away from "possible hotness"…and just 10 from appearing in a Nelly video. Bernie is an uninspired load who was under doctor's order to take it easy the first week and ended up losing more weight than almost everyone. This week, he spent most of the episode with a newly-formed cold sore that no one acknowledged. Thanks, NBC and your litany of "intense" close ups on everyone.

Least Favorite Team: Jay & Mark – They're from Massachusetts.

In or Out: Oh, of course I'm in. Depending on how many biscuits I had for breakfast, I'm carrying around 180-185 lbs. these days. Twenty years ago, I was nearly a foot shorter and weighed about the same. These fatties speak to me.

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