Aaron: Pretty sure that 'Zona's 0-2 start is the only single-team prediction I've gotten right in the first two weeks. I expect the Ravens' defense to ugly up Leinart's beautiful mug all game long. Hey, Ray Lewis! I hear Leinart got your sister pregnant! Get him! Pick: Baltimore
Joe: It appears that the Cards are slightly better than last season, whil Baltimore is a bit worse, leading them both to meet in the creamy middle of the NFL. Maybe I've just got a hankering for Double Stuf'd Oreos. Pick: Baltimore
San Diego at Green Bay
Aaron: I never thought I could recapture the joy of last January's Chargers Playoff Debacle. Then, came the wonderfully apocalyptic reaction from the imbecilic locals here in SD after last week's loss to the Pats to prove that the joy is still there. I'm going more with my heart than my head (which hasn't done shit for me in picking games, so far). Stupid head. Pick: Green Bay
Joe: Argh -- I hate picking this game. If it's in San Diego, I'm picking the Chargers easy, but the Packers haven't looked half bad, while the Chargers...well, have. Pick: Green Bay
Indianapolis at Houston
Aaron: On the one hand, I said the Colts would hang 50 on the Texans. On the other hand, Texans management insisted that they selected Mario Williams over Reggie Bush just so he could chase down Peyton Manning twice a year. Oddly enough, I like my prediction more. Pick: Indianapolis
Joe: The Houston resurgence (or, rather: surgence) is for real, and I wouldn't be entirely shocked to see them pull the upset out at home. But not without a healthy Andre Johnson. (Yes, I realize this is what every hack sportswriter in America is saying. Bite me. Are they saying that too?) Pick: Indianapolis
Minnesota at Kansas City
Aaron: KC has looked like last year's Raiders this season. This pleases me. I like the Chiefs at home versus a so-so Vikings team, but only because I'm guessing that this is the week where Larry Johnson puts up one of those "I ain't dead yet" 200-yard games. Ah, fuck…I can't do it. Pick: Minnesota
Joe: But I can! Pick: Kansas City
Buffalo at New England
Aaron: This past Monday, ESPN.com's Bill Simmons wrote 100,000 words on how great his Patriots are, while skewering the media for over-blowing the "cheating" storyline from the week before. It's the most bat-shit insane combination of paranoia mixed with stating the obvious (the media blows things out of proportion? Really?) that any of you will ever read. Pick: New England
Joe: Another from the Simmons-is-a-dick files, apparently the Pats won't beat the Bills too bad because we haven't angered the beast by calling them cheaters yet. Well how's this: cheaters! Cheater, cheatery cheaters! There. Now at least when my team loses I'll get a good fantasy day out of Randy Moss. Pick: New England
Miami at New York Jets
Aaron: Who'll win more games, the Jets or the Mets, between now and Sunday? Be honest…you had to think about it. And, if anyone from Pardon The Interruption is reading this, feel free to use that question as part of your amusing "Toss Up" feature. Pick: New York Jets
Joe: Man, the Bills sure have a lot of company for "dregs of the AFC East" status. Pity one of 'em will have to win. Pick: NY Jets
Detroit at Philadelphia
Aaron: The 3-0 Detroit Lions or the 0-3 Philadelphia Eagles…? After this game, which one sounds more believable? Lions QB Jon Kitna has Jesus, but Eagles QB Donovan McNabb MUST win or else face the inordinate amount of scrutiny that comes with being a Black quarterback. Pick: Philadelphia
Joe: Maybe we should make a rule that no player should have to play in Philadelphia for more than three seasons. I just see McNabb's will to live slowly eroding. Pick: Detroit
San Francisco at Pittsburgh
Aaron: The Niners have the look of one of those teams that I doubt week after week until they're 8-2 around Thanksgiving. Well, this year someone ELSE will look the fool! Pick: San Francisco
Joe: I will gladly play that fool if it means I don't have to pick this secretly-crappy team on the road. Pick: Pittsburgh
St. Louis at Tampa Bay
Aaron: The Rams have lost two straight games at home. The Bucs surprised the Saints last week. Which result(s) is closer to reality? No clue, but I'll side with the heat n' humidity over the team from a dome. Pick: Tampa Bay
Joe: When did the Rams get unrepentantly terrible? Why did no one tell me before I drafted Drew "Whitey" Bennett for my fantasy team? Pick: Tampa Bay
Jacksonville at Denver
Aaron: The Broncos were one piece of cheap gamesmanship away from guaranteeing my upset pick of the
Joe: On a bed of tears, Cam'ron. Pick: Denver
Cleveland at Oakland
Aaron: Can you be undermanned with too much heart? What my Raiders lack in talent, they make up for in gumption. Gut-wrenching loss to Satan's Squadron last week that'll serve to galvanize our spirit and soul. We're like a Terry McMillan book. Pick: Oakland
Joe: I'll never forgive your team for getting their first win before mine does. Never! Pick: Oakland
Cincinnati at Seattle
Aaron: Kudos to the Bengals for one of the most spectacular bed-wettings in recent regular season history. The Browns dropped 51 points on you, Cincy?! The Browns?! At least Cincy still has Chad Johnson. Keep pickin' and grinnin', Chad! Now, dance! Dance for The Man! Pick: Seattle
Joe: Aw, man! You mean I don't get to enjoy Chad Johnson's good-natured antics without feeling guilty? I already feel bad enough about Flavor of Love: Charm School. Can't you leave me with anything?? Pick: Cincinnati
Carolina at Atlanta
Aaron: One of my few wins from last week came from picking agin' the Falcons and I'm nothing if not a lousy picker of football games. Pick: Carolina
Joe: Carolina, on their every-other-season schedule, looks like the favorite in the oh-so-stellar NFC South. The fact that the Bills or Raiders would also be the favorites in the NFC South is none of our concern. Pick: Carolina
New York Giants at Washington
Aaron: 15 years ago, the play of the 1992 NY Giants led to the emotional ruin of then-head coach Ray Handley. One more game should do it for current coach Tom Coughlin, no? Pick: Washington
Joe: Tom Coughlin's the closest this world's going to come to seeing someone have a Falling Down moment, and I for one cannot wait. Pick: Washington
Dallas at Chicago
Aaron: Hey, it's another Sunday night with the Dallas Cowboys. Thanks, NBC. And, that always-exciting Bears offense should make these four hours fly right by. Pick: Dallas
Joe: Just so long as that always-exciting (non-sarcastic division) Bears defense keeps rolling. Pick: Chicago
Tennessee at New Orleans
Aaron: My one week dalliance with Vince Young is over before it even began. And, I've got $100 on Aaron Neville making some kind of cameo: National Anthem, interview in the booth, "celebrity" fan in the stands, etc. I hope his hectic schedule allows it. Pick: New Orleans
Joe: What about Bono and that swollen-faced Green Day guy, huh? What about them? I fear for my favorite birthmarked QB if his team goes 0-3, but the Saints are looking uninspired. Pick: Tennessee
2 comments:
You know, I missed it when I was making my picks so I don't really deserve to score any points with it right now but: pretty sure "'Zona's 0-2 start" isn't the only single team prediction Cam's gotten right in the first two weeks...since they're 1-1.
Nice ending to that Raiders game, Cam. The ol' "call time out a nanosecond before the snap" trick, eh? Be proud of your cheap win, sir.
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