Saturday, December 23, 2006

"It Rubs The Lotion on Its Skin..."

Pink was another long-time Bootleg punching bag and I'm glad to see she's still out there fighting for the rights of the underprivileged, when she's not emasculating the NFL all by herself.

And, in quite the surprising development, the vocally-challenged liberal rabble-rouser has teamed with the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) in a new campaign against…wool.

"I am calling on consumers to check labels on sweaters before buying them, and if they're merino wool or made in Australia, to leave them on the racks."

Obviously, as a native Californian, she lost me at "sweaters" long before she made it to "merino". But, let's still see if this goes anywhere, 'K?

Pink was in Kuala Lumpur France earlier this week and held a news conference before her concert at Paris Bercy Arena. She aired a four-minute video for the assemblage of local scribes and other assorted cheese-eating surrender monkeys.

The video shows the mutilation of several lambs as chunks of their skin is carved from their backs without any anesthetic. This process is known as "mulesing" and…hey, wait a minute. "Lambs"…"hand-carved back fat"…it sounds like Buffalo Bill is back to his serial-killing/dress making ways!

Well, that answers everything. Pink obviously fell asleep in front of the TV, while TBS was showing one of their hourly airings of The King of Queens repeats. Later, I assume she awoke, only to discover Ted Levine dancing around in half of a homemade (hand-made!) "woman suit" up on her plasma-screen.

From there, Pink saw the title of the movie and assumed that the "victims" were lambs, instead of full-figured college-aged co-eds whom America wouldn't miss, anyway.

Oh, don't look at me like that. The Facts of Life, anyone?

Thought so.