Even More Jalen Speak

Actual conversations with my five-year-old son.

After dinner this past Friday night…

Jalen: "Mommy, can I have a cookie?"

Mrs. Bootleg: "No, you had ice cream after lunch."

Jalen: "But, that was AFTERNOON dessert, I want NIGHTTIME dessert!"


During Saturday night's A's/Angels broadcast, a brief in-game feature aired on the 1970s A's teams – who were often dubbed "The Mustache Gang"…

Jalen: "Do any of these [2009] Oakland A's have mustaches?"

Aaron: "Uh, I think Rajai Davis has one."

Jalen: "No, he doesn't."

Aaron: "Yeah, he does. It's just really small."

Jalen: "Oh. And, it's hard to see because he has brown skin, right?"


Playing baseball in the house on Sunday morning (before Old Lady Bootleg wakes up, comes downstairs and makes us stop)…

Aaron: "Jalen, what are you doing?"

Jalen [With the bat between his legs and just under his, ummm…] "Look, I have a penis bat!"

Aaron: [Head explodes.]