Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Upcoming Travel Diary – Arizona

You will often hear or read Scottsdale [Arizona] referred to as "Snotsdale" or "Snobsdale", and Scottsdalians labeled snotty, snooty and/or stuck up. This isn't new--it's been this way for many, many years. --

When: March 12 – 15…we're leaving on Thursday, coming home Sunday. My friends can't believe we're flying to Phoenix, which is about 350 miles from San Diego. See, here's the thing: I don't DO road trips, kids. Once I started earning a bit of disposable income, there were two things I immediately gave up – (1) long car rides and (2) more than two friends in a single hotel room. If we can't get there in 90 minutes, it's American Airlines.

Where: Phoenix, AZ…although, our hotel is in Scottsdale. Thankfully, I married the original Negro Elitist – a woman who grew up poor, but put herself through college – achieving a bachelor's degree and an M.B.A. Soon, thereafter, she would turn her back on her roots and start looking down her nose to everybody. Besides, we'd rather stay someplace where we don't have to guess where the "good" side of town is:

I dislike the generalization that the west side of the metro Phoenix area is inferior to the east side. -- same article

Primary Purpose: Spring Training! On March 13, your Oakland A's will be playing the Indians at the Tribe's new facility in Goodyear. The following afternoon, the A's host the Giants in Phoenix. We'll be at both games! The relaxed atmosphere! Big numbers on the back of jerseys! Regular season prices on food, souvenirs and parking!

Secondary Purpose: Booze mule! I'll be bootlegging (woo!) a half-dozen 22 oz. bottles of Sawyer's Triple over the border for some thirsty friends in the desert. Since passengers can no longer carry-on bottles of liquid larger than three ounces, I'll be entrusting the safety of this unofficial six-pack with the calloused hands and sticky fingers of America's baggage handlers.

Tertiary Purpose: The unique local cuisine! Don't be fooled by my emaciated frame. When I'm not purging, I'm binging! This is always the best part of a trip for me…it's just that I have NO idea what to indulge first. I'm told 'Zona has several mom n' pop coffee-and-pastry shops – the kind we don't have in Cali-Starbucks. The state also has a few old-timey drive-in eateries that have yet to be homogenized and commercialized.

In THIS economy, I'm all about supporting the "little guy", y'know?

No comments: