Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Michael Vick Indicted on Bed Bug Abuse

I thought about putting together a post on embattled Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick, but m'man Mathan beat me to the punch with this excellent column that serves two purposes: 1) it exposes the inherent hypocrisy of this story 2) there's an unspoken, brilliantly subtle subtext to the whole thing that had me nodding in agreement all the way through.

Now, if Mathan is "too serious" for you (and I've met him…dude should really loosen up), there's the estimable Tom Daniels. Just like everyone else who lives in New York City, he's got a blog to tell us how "spectacularly quirky" or "quirkily spectacular" it is to live in NYC. Thankfully, he's avoided the predictable "I was in the audience at a taping of The Today Show!" post.

Anyways, dig Tom's tale on his recent battle with bed bugs. The whole thing had me howling at his expense which, in turn, made me feel better about myself.

He can help you, too.

9 comments:

Joe R. said...

Not only do am I not a vegan, or much of an animal lover either, I don't even like dogs all that much. And I still think Michael Vick's a piece of shit, which makes me the most wonderful hypocrite of them all. Suck it, everyone at ESPN!

that mexican guy said...

I've been reading Mathan since the J.A.M. dayz and "unspoken" or "subtle" aren't exactly the first two adjectives I think of, but I think I get yer drift, Cam.

As for Tom: bed bugs are real? I thought they were like other fictitious bugs: "cooties", "insecticons", "Mothra", etc.

castro said...

I only know "bed bugs" from that "don't let them bite" phrase. Tom's story made me want to sleep in the bathtub.

As for Vick...meh. I hate dogs.

That's all I got.

Tom said...

I'd rather have had Mothra. At least i would have known if he was hanging out at my apartment. Giant holes in my clothes and all.

I must have been one of the first people on the planet to mutter the words "why can't we just have mice."

If you ever see one of these lil' F-ers just burn your house down and start over.

sean in accounting said...

The Michael Vick overreaction is due to two factors: Most white Americans love their dogs and most white Americans abhor Black, so-called Hip Hop athletes. Not surprisingly, the media has avoided this angle like the plague, since every measured discussion of "race" is twisted and misinterpreted as "racism" by the conservative lunatic fringe.

As for the insect angle, I've been there. We had an infestation when I was leaving for college and my parents weren't completely bug-free until Thanksgiving. That was back home in Virginia. The above post probably wasn't joking as I've run into a few people here in Cali who didn't believe bed bugs existed either.

They're the same ones who eat fish tacos and put avocado on their pizzas.

That Bootleg Guy said...

JOE: Can anyone read the first seven words of your reply and not smile? I know I can't.

MEX: Nice work on the Shrapnel, Kickback and Bombshell reference. It was sitting RIGHT THERE and I let it pass. F me, I guess.

TOM: Thanks for letting me and my friends enjoy your misery.

SEAN: Wow. Way to betray your white race. If you ever need a new home... Although, your fish taco mocking and avocado pizza bashing is more than a little petty from a guy who once asked, "Y'all have any Cracker Barrels out here?"

Joe R. said...

Oh Cam. Mocking the typos -- the last refuge of the...something.

Here's my question: how does Michael Vick have any defenders left, black or white, considering how many fantasy teams he's demolished lo these many years? Lord knows he soaked one of my teams and then electrocuted it to death a couple years back.

Mathan said...

Cam,

Thanks for the kind words. As a result of that piece I've learned that no one cares about cows, gives a second thought to animal testing and that dogs are probably just a march on Washington away from getting the right to vote.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Vick's fantasy football numbers pretty much have ensured that he'll never be inducted into the FF Hall of Fame. Then again, if it spares us another wooden induction intro from Warrick Dunn...(and if none of you have seen the Dunn/Alstott commercial on ESPN, my comment will be even LESS funny).