10 Moments that Should've Made XXL's 100 Biggest Moments in Hip Hop History

Honorable Mention: Rapper Shade Sheist feuds with humble internet columnist (January 2003)…Believe it or not, five years ago, Sheist was slightly less anonymous than he is today. I'd written a review of his debut album for 411mania and, for the next few weeks, engaged in some heated e-mail exchanges with Sheist and his management. In one email, they threatened to kick my ass then sue me for slander. To which, I responded: "Slander is oral defamation, not written". How gangsta was that? Very!

10: Puff Daddy introduces Sean John clothing line (1998)…Say what you want about Mr. Combs, but his upscale urban wear has been an unquestionable success. It's inspired dozens upon dozens of knockoffs and several failed attempts at attire from just about every other rapper in the industry. Hell, I own three or four Sean John shirts and this from someone whose only brush with "urban" is when my name appears alongside Mrs. Bootleg's first name on our bank statements.

9: Flavor of Love debuts on VH1 (January 2006)…20 years after Public Enemy brought societal urgency to the industry, Flavor Flav sends us all back to the coon age. I spent years in my column mocking Public Enemy frontman Chuck D's aging, militant liberal schtick, his still skin-tight jeans and faded Raiders Starter jacket, but, by comparison, he looks a lot better than ol' Bojangles Flav. Seriously, this one hurts my heart.

8: NBA institutes league-wide dress code for its players (October 2005)…Not about Hip Hop, you say? Nicka, please. Facing a frightened white fan base and a media too quick to affix "thug" to any Black athlete in baggy shorts, Commissioner David Stern decreed that his chattel would conform to a slacks n' jacket dress code for road trips, while bench warming an injury or during any other league-sponsored event. Good to know those $2,500 courtside seats are safe again for Bill Cosby and his hilarious race-hating ways.

7: Chappelle's Show premieres on Comedy Central (January 2003)…Aside from the occasional album promotional appearance on Leno or Letterman, rappers really aren't represented on network television. Cable ain't much better, with BET's insipid 106 & Park serving as the sound for the sixteen-and-under set. Dave Chappelle brought a knowledge and respect for the genre to a huge, umm, "crossover" audience through musical performances (loved the Common/Kanye team-up) and skits (Wu-Tang Clan drafted by the Asians!) Hell, he made Lil' Jon interesting…for a few minutes.

6: Eminem wins Oscar (March 2003)…For whatever reason, this didn't get nearly the media mileage as Three-6 Mafia winning it a few years later. The reasons, near as I can guess are (1) Em didn't show up to perform at the show or accept the award (2) IIRC, Eminem was everybody's "he just might win it" dark horse candidate, so it wasn't that big of a surprise and (3) in early '03, Eminem had been upstaged by his own protégé, 50 Cent. Hey, the third verse is the closest Mekhi Phifer will ever get to an Oscar and for us that counts. Speech! Speech!

5: Benzino & Dave Mays forced out at The Source…Throughout the 1990s, The Source was the preeminent rap magazine out there. Then, through a series of events including, but not limited to conflicts of interest between the publishers and the music that was reviewed for the magazine and, most notably, a transparently self-serving feud with Eminem and the sanctity of Hip Hop, The Source found themselves without advertisers and blackballed by the biggest names and labels in the business. Think of them as America and the music industry is "the rest of the world".

4: R. Kelly indicted on 21 counts involving sex with a minor (June 2002)…And, he still hasn't gone to trial! Isn't it the obligation of our justice system to try these high-profile cases before all the jokes are played out? Now, it's too late! I've seen Dave Chappelle pretend to pee on an underage girl. We've peaked! We peaked in '03! I'm pretty sure the victim's bathed since then.

3: Aaliyah dies in plane crash (August 2001)…At least, I assume this is huge, since Missy Elliott won't shut the f*ck up about it. I can't say I was a huge fan, but baby girl sold more than 30 million records worldwide, which makes me wonder how the deaths of Soulja Slim, Mac Dre and Proof made the XXL list. I assume she was decremented for her roles in the execrable Romeo Must Die and Queen of the Damned. Have you seen either one? Worse than death.

2: The Rise & Fall of Napster…Easily the most egregious omission from the XXL Top 100 list is any mention of music's move to the digital age. The seeds of the current state of the industry were sown almost a decade ago with the advent of P2P file sharing. Hell, my mother was illegally downloading music. Jalen's grandma! By the time Dr. Dre, Metallica and others filed suit against Napster in 2000, the dot-com bubble had burst and the internet's illusion of non-accountability went with it. Napster shut down for good in July 2001.

1: iTunes goes live (January 2001)…Should've been #1 on the XXL list, too. Choose your hyperbole: It forever changed the way we listen to music. It destroyed the CD and record store markets. It became the newest, most popular answer to that "if you were stranded on a desert island…" question. Anyone remember that jab from The Simpsons where Homer asks about Apple computers and the clerk responds, "What computers?" Well, who's laughing now, Matt Groening? OK, so you're rich, too, but you're not Steve Jobs rich, d*ck.

XXL Magazine's 100 Biggest Moments in Hip Hop History

Last Saturday, I'm waiting for my barber's chair to open up while filing through the mountain of, umm…"ethnic" magazines that are required reading and mandatory ambiance at every "Sharp Cutz", "Fade to Black" and "N*gga, I'll Cut'cha!" barbershop.

I'd arrived at about 10:10 AM for my weekly 10:00 AM appointment, which meant I was about 20 minutes early. 40 minutes later, I was just getting to the chair, when I realized that I was intently reading a copy of Black Enterprise - the magazine for "Black Professionals".

The 100th issue of rap magazine XXL sat untouched like it was last week's Jet.

Now that I'm officially on a collision course with my mid-30s, could it be that rap music no longer has a place in my life? I've lost count of the friends and colleagues who've given up on the current product, with its trend towards kid-friendly 21st century minstrel shows. And, now I'm reading Black Enterprise at the barbershop? What does this mean?

Answer: It means I have a few months left on my XXL subscription and I'd read their 100th issue already.

This month XXL ranks the 100 Biggest Moments in Hip Hop during the run of their publication. So, we're looking at roughly the last 10 years. Thankfully, Tupac and Biggie died a few months before XXL debuted. We've all had quite enough of them, thank you very much.

Here are some highlights:

100: Cassidy v. Freeway – Battle Rap at The Hit Factory in NYC (May 2000)…How did I miss this?!? Pfft. Cassidy won, apparently. Freeway would go on to drop his debut album a few years later. I (negatively) reviewed it here. This led to the single greatest piece of feedback I've ever received, as a reader responded to my review with: "I used to think you were Black, now I have to question that."

98: The Game gets butterfly tattoo on his face (June 2005)…Just a thought, but maybe the writers at XXL should've trimmed this list to a "Top 97" or something. And, how does it feel to be a rapper who is any way involved with the TWO spots BEHIND this?

90: D-12's Proof dies (April 2006)…Eminem's best friend and hype man dies in a hail of gunfire at a Detroit bar. Can Em find the strength to continue performing in the wake of such a terrible personal tragedy?

87: Eminem steals the show during a live performance at The BET Awards (June 2006)…Here's our answer! I didn't see the show, but those must've been the illest two minutes in broadcast TV history. RIP Proof – six feet under, but only three beneath Eminem!

84: Belly opens in theaters nationwide (November 1998)…This was hailed as some sort of African-American cinematic accomplishment in the Hip Hop community. I've never seen it, so I'll ask: does it steal everything from Scarface, Carlito's Way and The Godfather or almost everything?

83: Big L dies (February 1999)…Mathan still mourns.

82: Soulja Slim dies (November 2003)…Ahead of Big L? Umm, don't tell Mathan.

79: West Coast rappers broker industry-wide peace treaty….Sorry all former Death Row Records artists and former enemies of those former artists, but 1996 is not walking through that door. Christ, Sean Young didn't put up this much of a fight when everyone forgot her.

73: C-Murder convicted of murder (September 2003)…Sooo, was this irony or coincidence? That one's always bugged me. Also, for those scoring at home: rapper killing someone trumps rappers dying. Don't let that discourage you, Soulja Boy.

69: Superhead publishes tell-all book (June 2005)…"Superhead" is rap groupie Karrine Steffans. In subsequent interviews, she's compared herself to Gandhi and others who've "changed the course of history". I'll save y'all the $24.95 and tell you that, according to her (*spoiler alert*) rappers nail the chicks who dance in their videos.

67: Famed Houston producer DJ Screw dies (November 2000)…Just keep this in mind when you see what made #66 on the list.

66: 50 Cent crashes Evanescence's acceptance speech at the Grammy Awards (February 2004)…Yup.

63: Busta Rhymes' bodyguard (Israel Ramirez) is shot and killed at music video shoot (February 2006)…Extended rant coming in 3, 2, 1…

62: ODB dies (November 2004)…62?! Look…even though the West Coast scene ignored everything coming out of the east during New York's rap renaissance in the early-to-mid '90s, I'd be a fool to deny the sonic impact and influence of Ol' Dirty Bastard and the Wu-Tang Clan. His passing was H-U-G-E. Notwithstanding all of the "subjective" caveats inherent with lists of this nature, this is absolutely bat-sh*t insane and an inexcusable insult. And, with all due respect to the family of Israel Ramirez, these two events aren't in the same solar system.

61: Spelman University students protest Nelly's sponsorship/appearance at on-campus bone marrow drive. (April 2004)…As far as I can tell, the only difference between this and every other anti-rap protest is that the bitching came from young Black folk, instead of old white folk. My favorite part: Nelly cancelled his appearance and the bone marrow drive. Better hope karma doesn't have leukemia, college kids.

57: Suge Knight files for bankruptcy (April 2006)…See #79.

54: 50 Cent makes reported $100 million from sale of his stake in Vitamin Water to Coca-Cola (May 2007)…Wait a minute: 50 is filthy rich?! Why has he never brought up his bank account in any of his songs before?

51: 50 Cent and The Game end their feud (March 2005)…Up to this point, their "feud" had lasted about eight days. This subsequent detente lasted about eight hours, before they went back to beefing – and have been ever since. Non-rap fans: think Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech. Same thing.

49: Bay Area rapper Mac Dre is murdered (November 2004)…New Rule: Someone…someone…must be able to name ONE of your songs before your death can place in the top half of a list like this. No disrespect intended, Mac.

48: Mase returns to rap (August 2004)…His 1997 debut sold more than four million copies. His 2004 Welcome Back album barely sold 500,000 and the title track sampled the theme from Welcome Back, Kotter. Me thinks Mase won't be coming back, again.

45: Elton John and Eminem perform "Stan" at the Grammy Awards (February 2001)…Way, way too low. This performance laid the groundwork for Em's Oscar win two years later and wrapped him inside a Teflon cocoon that kept the whole "n-word" controversy from hurting his career.

43: Jam Master Jay murdered (October 2002)…See #62, change the references from '90s to '80s and there ya go. With apologies to Chris Rock, I get that school will be open on JMJ's birthday, but there are not 42 moments bigger than the death of the DJ from arguably the greatest rap act in history.

40: Labelmates Baby and Lil' Wayne photographed kissing (October 2006)…Good ol' homophobia. It's still the one hate that unites the races.

31: Lil' Kim goes to jail (September 2005)…This one pretty much carried my old Friday Music News Bootleg column for all of 2005, so I may be a bit biased when I say this should've been #1. In fact, what's higher than #1? Is there a number higher than #1?

28: DJ Drama arrested, Feds seize mixtape inventory (January 2007)…How great is it to see our Federal Government protecting the copyright interests of rappers that they'll be arresting on equally trumped up charges later this year?

26: Three-6 Mafia wins Oscar (March 2006)…White people are still pissed off about this. Oh, and psst: this wasn't exactly a "listening to Joe Louis beat Max Schmeling" moment for African-Americans, either. But, after all this time, I don't expect you guys to drop your sanctimonious quotation marks from the word "song" when you reference "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp".

23: Big Pun dies (February 2000)…Ridiculously underrated by the casual rap fans who only knew him for that "Still Not a Player" song, he was a ferocious lyricist who fought obesity and died from respiratory failure at 28. That said, we're to believe his death hit the Hip Hop landscape the hardest? Here's a test: where were you when you heard he died? Anyone who didn't answer with "Wait, Big Pun is dead?!" is lying.

10: "George Bush doesn't care about Black people." (September 2005)…I still don't know if this is true or not, but can we all agree that "Then, how do you explain Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice?!" is a pretty sh*tty retort, Fox News? Cool? Cool.

8: Eminem signs to Dr. Dre's Aftermath imprint (March 1998)…Not too surprising as he and XXL have been in editorial bed together since Em's feud with The Source magazine from five years ago. But, what is surprising…

1: 50 Cent signs with Shady/Aftermath Records (November 2002)…is the #1?! Never mind that Eminem signed on first, created Shady Records, then agreed to split 50 with Dre's label. You can't have #1 without #8, damn it, yet #8 occurred four years before #1 and is somehow less important?!

And, that's why I now read Black Enterprise.

Next: 20 moments that should've made this list.

Aaron's iFAQ #2

"What's up with your Raiders and why come they don't get the Oakland love that you give the A's?"

This ridiculous story officially "broke" over the weekend, but it's been rumored in the local press going back to October/November.

Not that the opinion of a Raiders fan from San Diego – who doesn't even infrequently attend games either down here or up north – matters much, but if team owner Al Davis forces Oakland head coach Lane Kiffin out the door, I'm done.

And, by "done", I mean "done" until Al Davis no longer owns the team.

And, by "no longer owns the team", I mean that I'm now rooting for Al Davis to…

Jesus, how'd it get to this point?

Once upon a time, the Raiders were the only team I followed with any passion. In the early/mid 1980s, my dad was stationed on the east coast. This was well before sports became a 24/7 news cycle, accessible across dozens of electronic, print and broadcast media.

The Raiders were one of the "it" teams – part of a rotation that, at the time, included the San Francisco 49ers, Chicago Bears, Miami Dolphins and Washington Redskins. Conversely, my Oakland A's could only be seen when one of them was represented at the All-Star Game (hey, Bill Caudill!) or with an "(n)" next to their game in the morning paper.

Those Raiders teams won a Super Bowl in 1984 and were the marquee AFC team with televised games all the time. However, in late 1985, everything changed.

My family moved back to California just before the end of the '85 regular season. It was then that I learned all about the NFL's blackout rules. Y'see, the Raiders played in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum – an outdated, archaic facility that was built with the intention of honoring World War I vets and holding the 1932 Olympics.

Capacity was north of 90,000 and while the Raiders were drawing well enough, I was often reduced to listening to the late Bill King call their games on the radio. Even in that pre-HD age of picture tubes and only 80 cable channels, going from TV to radio was like a bullet train back to the slave days.

That '85 team was arguably as strong as their championship 1983 team. RB Marcus Allen won the MVP award that year and the Raiders won their last six games en route to the AFC's #2 seed. A match-up between the Raiders and Dan Marino's (4,000+ yards passing, 30 TDs) Dolphins seemed inevitable in the AFC Championship…until the New England Patriots waltzed into town and ended the Raiders' season.

In 1986, the team lost four straight to end the season and missed the playoffs – highlighted by an excruciating loss to the Eagles at home, when Allen fumbled deep in the red zone in overtime, which Philly returned for a touchdown. The following week, the Raiders dropped a 37-0 stinkbomb on Monday night in Seattle (a game my boy, Vig, remembers with mocking clarity).

While still a fan of the team, it was brutal to follow them through scratchy AM radio and infrequent game highlights on the 11PM Sunday night local news.

Then, things got weird.

The Raiders pushed head coach Tom Flores upstairs and hired a young Mike Shanahan to helm the squad in 1988. He finished 8-8 in his first year with an aging, injury-riddled outfit that at least boasted an exciting young core (RB Bo Jackson, QB Steve Beuerlein, WR Tim Brown, DE Howie Long and DE Greg Townsend).

Then, four games into the '89 season, Al Davis fired Shanahan and hired former Raider Art Shell – the first Black coach in league history.

Shell was a pleasant enough guy, but a terrible, terrible coach. He got an extended media pass due to (1) the soft local press corps and (2) that whole "first Black coach in league history" thing. His strategic shortcomings were further handicapped by Al Davis' bizarre, inexplicable feuds with his own players.

After showing some promise in a starting role in 1988-89, Beuerlein was benched – at Davis' direction – for the entire 1990 season for reasons that have never been explained. That Raiders team did make it to the AFC Championship game, but QB Jay Schroeder would never have another decent season in the NFL. Beuerlein was traded to Dallas in 1991.

Around the same time, Davis began an embarrassing one-sided feud with future Hall of Fame RB Marcus Allen. As the washed-up remains of Roger Craig and Eric Dickerson led the Raiders in rushing in 1991 and 1992, the Raiders finished a combined 16-16 with a healthy Allen averaging about 290 yards and just 65 carries in each of the two seasons.

Cutting off his nose to spite his fans has become a f*cking art form for ol' Al.

He idiotically opened the vault for non-talents Desmond Howard and Larry Brown just because they each lucked into a Super Bowl MVP award.

He signed the notoriously self-serving, coach-killing QB Jeff George in attempt to bring back the vaunted "vertical game" approach – which went extinct for a reason in the early '80s.

He fired/traded head coach Jon Gruden after four seasons at .500 or better.

And, we haven't even touched on Davis' unapologetic embracing of the Los Angeles gang element during his stay in Southern California, the ruinously shady deal that brought the team back to Oakland while fiscally crippling the city's infrastructure or his brazen employment of open steroid abusers like Bill Romanowski and Dana Stubblefield.

I think I've put up with a lot in more than 25 years of following this team. But, if Al Davis forces out the one guy who can bring respectability back to what's become an absolute laughingstock of a franchise – and in exchange for Dennis Green, no less – I'm out.

Anyone know how to add "obituaries" to an RSS feed?

TBG Reviews: Superbad

…or can a Black guy in his 30s enjoy a movie made for white folk in their teens and twenties?

The answer is a very definitive and unquestionable "yes"…with, a "but".

Superbad is absolutely worth the most of its hype (if not all its hyperbole). It's not just hyperventilatingly funny at times, but it might be the smartest movie where "f*ck", "d*ck" and "Becca" comprise 90% of the dialogue.

Since, as usual, I'm about eight months late to the summer movie praise party, I'll echo everyone else's sentiments: Michael Cera and Jonah Hill have some kind of on-screen chemistry. Their comedic synchronization is just phenomenal to watch, as their frequent bantering and bickering never sounds forced or phony.

Their "Evan" and "Seth" characters are in search of booze for a high school graduation party. If you don't know the plot, that about sums it up. Oh, and hilarity ensues.

Even though the movie is ostensibly about one night in their lives, it plays like a series of independent scenes that are only loosely tied together with the sophomoric story. That's not a dig, though (not even the "sophomoric" part). All of this just underscores the movie's frenetic vibe as tensions rise throughout the course of an evening gone awry.

Can't honestly say that everything works. The "Fogell" character and his "faux-negro" ways were annoying – and not in that "he was supposed to be annoying" way that the writers wanted. And, the whole excruciatingly extended sequence with him and the inept pair of cops had its moments, but it was more "miss" than "hit" for me.

Really, though, it's hard for me to find much else wrong. In fact, let's see how many Superbad references I can remember that had me howling out loud: the bloodstain, the Aladdin vest, the "division sign", the "Perfect 10", the "African Jew", the Asian kid in home economics, the Biggie Smalls song, the "little baby toes" nipples line.

That's seven or eight right there and I haven't even mentioned the backhanded McNugget of morality as it relates to drunk chicks and...well, y'know. Drunk chicks. Drunk!

The melancholy ending on the escalator was the perfect way to wrap up a movie about the waning days of high school, to boot. I'm not quite sure how this ended up on so many "Top 10 of 2007" lists (and, let's be honest, how did this awesomely raunchy cuss-fest escape the wrath of the same right wing kooks who abhor rap music? Don't act like you don't know the answer, either) but, it's surprisingly sweet and smart tones are a fine compliment for all the funny.

The Occasional Obligatory Links Post

It's late and I've blogged quite enough for you people this year. Tonight, I'm That Boot-Link Guy…HAW!

Over at MachineGunFunk, my former co-worker Mathan Erhardt drops his top ten albums of 2007. See if Arcade Fire, Feist, Radiohead, Amy Winehouse can play nice with Jay-Z and Ghostface Killah.

Not to be outdone, the staff at BrokenDial have their top albums of '07, as well. Jesus, that's a big-ass list. Oh, and if you're having a bad day, this'll cheer you up. (Even if you don't know the guy!)

Movie Joe Reid has been in full-on Oscars mode this week. Dig his nomination predictions, his reflections on Tuesday's actual nominations and (especially) his thoughts on Heath Ledger.

M'man Tom Daniels is a New York Giants fan and life is good. Check out this great write-up before the Giants knocked off the Packers in Green Bay on Sunday.

Hate football? Love baseball? I just now came across the phenomenal Baseball Analysts website. There's been a weeks-long debate with ESPN's Buster Olney on the Hall of Fame merits of Jim Rice. Great stuff.

"Bourne"? More Like "Bored"! (Well, it wasn't THAT bad, but I needed a catchy title.)

A.O. Scott of The New York Times called the first one a "triumph". Peter Travers of Rolling Stone said "This one has everything…!" in describing the sequel. Meanwhile, That Bootleg Guy – of this sh*tty blog – is left to wonder if "everything" has passed him by.

Last week, I finally became the 275th millionth American to see The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy. Like most of you, I liked the inventive Identity a little bit more and while both films moved along at a snappy little pace, I wouldn't say either was more than "perfectly acceptable entertainment".

Look, I was born with one of those "suspension of disbelief" genes, but Midget Matt Damon as a balls-out action star? Bullsh*t. I'm certainly no cinematographer, but didn't it look like some of those fight sequences were speed-sweetened a la the closing credits on "Benny Hill"? Sure, maybe they all are, but I've never overtly noticed it before.

Now, I loved the first 20 minutes or so of Identity. Here's this amnesiac supreme killing machine who's struggling to understand his litany of abilities, while making awkward small talk with Franka Potente. Then, from the point that the bad guys crash through the window of his Parisian apartment, it's a lazy chase movie. It's not actively awful, but all of this "redefining the action genre" nonsense is insane.

Potente's "Marie" nearly killed it for me. She's driven to vomit at the sight of Bourne's handiwork, then she joins forces with him…and, then she's so repulsed by Bourne that she wants nothing more to do with him. You've seen the character before: she's the one that demands an explanation for everything when they should be running away or shooting something.

Thankfully, she's on the screen for all of 10 minutes in Supremacy, the first sequel.

It's the same movie as the first, save for the addition of Joan Allen who is, admittedly, dynamite. Matt Damon is running, things blow up and no one knows who to trust. Christ, and that ending – a quaint little chat with the girl whose parents…eh, the one person who still hasn't seen it could be reading this.

I've heard that The Bourne Ultimatum is far and away the best of the bunch, so I'll see if it can sway the series for me. For now, I'm sticking with Who's Harry Crumb? for my unconvincing action flick fix.

At least it's intentional.

An Open Letter to McDonald's

I've got some issues with this commercial.

But, for now, let's ignore the use of "The Cha Cha Slide" song and just assume the clearance fee for "Whoomp! There It Is" was too exorbitant. Furthermore, can we all agree that the next family to break out the plates and come to the dinner table for McDonald's will be the first? Cool? Cool.

With that out of the way…

15 years ago, we were expected to believe that this father and this mother could produce this daughter.

20 years ago, we were expected to believe that this father and this mother could produce this daughter.

30 years ago, we were expected to believe that this father and this mother could produce this daughter (and this son.)

35 years ago, we were expected to believe that this father and this mother could produce this son.

Getting back to the above commercial, I'll axe y'all what I axed Mrs. Bootleg as this aired during the Chargers/Pats game: "Who is he, the neighbor's kid?"

Really…in 2008, is it asking too much for television and casting agents to try to understand the basic genetic elements of Black people?