Sunday, October 17, 2010

2010 NFL Pickery -- Week #6

Last Week:

Joe: 9-5
Tom: 7-7
Aaron: 5-9


Joe: 52-24
Tom: 44-32
Aaron: 39-37

Seattle at Chicago

Joe: Bears beat bad teams. Seahawks can't play on the road. Predicting stuff is easy, you guys! Pick: Chicago

Aaron: I think we all liked Joe a LOT more when I was beating him in the football pools from 2006-2008. Pick: Chicago

Miami at Green Bay

So Aaron Rodgers isn't playing, Jermichael Finley joins Ryan Grant on the "injured for a f*ck lot of time" list, and in general, nobody has a whole lot of confidence in those early-season Super Bowl picks. If Miami is any kind of a good team, they win this one. So ... they are? Pick: Miami

Aaron: As of this writing, it appears Rodgers will play Sunday. But, Joe's spot-on about the potential cumulative impact of all the injuries in Green Bay. I'm far enough behind him, though, that I have to be the contrarian out of sheer desperation. Also, the two teams Miami beat this year are a combined 1-8. Pick: Green Bay

Kansas City at Houston

Joe: Both teams have a lot to prove. Both teams have running backs on my fantasy team. One team can't defend against the pass. The other one can't pass. One team is at home. Pick: Houston

Aaron: The Chiefs stymied Colts QB Peyton Manning for most of the game last week, but a succession of Kansas City dropped passes on offense and a fourth quarter defensive collapse gifted Indianapolis with the win. My point? Matt Schaub ain't Peyton Manning, y'all. Pick: Kansas City

Cleveland at Pittsburgh

Joe: Listen, NFL, if everybody agrees that Colt McCoy is a joke, why in the world would anyone draft him at all, much less so early? Just stay away! Meanwhile, Ben Roethlisberger is back from his suspension and is expected to violate the Browns, pressing his offense further towards the end zone in flagrant disregard for any kind of defense. Pick: Pittsburgh

Aaron: Quit hogging all the alleged rape jokes! Pick: Pittsburgh

New Orleans at Tampa Bay

This could be the official "Things Is F*cked Up" game in the NFC South if Tampa wins. I'm not sure the NFL is ready for the Bucs to surge this far ahead quite yet. Pick: New Orleans

Aaron: The Saints haven't lost two in a row since they lost three in a row back in December of…wait, 2009? Why…that was just last year! And, one of those three losses was to Tampa Bay? At home?! (There's your pregame storyline, ESPN NFL Countdown. Looking forward to Chris Berman's contrived vocal inflections at all the italicized parts.) Pick: New Orleans

Detroit at N.Y. Giants

I hereby apologize to the Giants' defense for doubting them. It's a good thing Detroit got all that offense out of their system against the Rams. Pick: NY Giants

Aaron: For those who don't know, Joe actually lives in New York and couldn't be swayed to believe in the Giants' defense, despite having a ringside seat to their Mortal Kombat-ian
flawless victories over TWO Chicago quarterbacks in a single game. Joe's Street Fighter bias is clearly to blame. Pick: NY Giants

Atlanta at Philadelphia

Joe: Oh, I hope the media can make this game all about Michael Vick even though he won't be playing and it's not in Atlanta! Pick: Philadelphia

Aaron: With apologies to's Bill Simmons, here's my baseless reasoning: the energy of the city, with the Phillies playing the San Francisco Giants at home later in the day in the NLCS will carry the Eagles to victory here. Besides, the Eagles haven't won a home game all season, so they'll show up for THIS game just to make sure the Giants will be intimidated -- you'll see it in their eyes -- later tonight in an unrelated baseball game. Pick: Philadelphia

San Diego at St. Louis

Joe: St. Louis is bound to look better at home than they did in that road shellacking at Detroit. But remember the rules for the Chargers: lose, win, lose, win, lose ... that's right. Pick: San Diego

Aaron: Another rule for my least favorite football team -- 2-0 at home this year, 0-3 on the road. And, the level of competition hasn't seemed to matter.
Hee! Anywho, the rumblings out here in the 858 (sorry, Rey Mysterio, but some of us live north of the Interstate-8 Freeway) is that RB Ryan Matthews is finally going to be unchained, set free Emancipation Proclamated and handed the keys to the running game. Pick: San Diego

Baltimore at New England

Joe: Good thing the Patriots got rid of their malcontented all-star wide receiver who wouldn't be nice. Now they get to bring their offense full of undersized white guys and WRs who will be nice to Tom Brady home to face that pushover Ravens D. Pick: Baltimore

Aaron: What...undersized white guys can't overcome insurmountable odds? Were you even alive
in 1987? Pick: Baltimore

Oakland at San Francisco

Joe: Law of averages. Law of averages. Law of averages. (By the way, it's ugly to brag when I'm ahead in the standings, but calling that Oakland win last week was the highlight of my season. I can't imagine anyone watching that game was more overjoyed than I was. No one!) Pick: San Francisco

Aaron: Oh, it WAS glorious, Joe, but I like to think I'm one of the world's few rational Raiders fans. I got an up close look at QB Jason Campbell and reports of his panic attacks as the pocket slightly collapses are accurate. While the point spread (49ers (-7)) is insane; this has the look of "last second field goal" + "letdown game" against/for my favorite team. (Also, kiss my black azz, Chargers fans.) Pick: San Francisco

N.Y. Jets at Denver

Joe: It's weird -- given how much people want to hate Mark Sanchez, you'd think they'd have been all over him on Monday for his first subpar game of the season. Must be nice to have Brett Favre as your own personal rodeo clown. Pick: NY Jets

Aaron: Yup, another contrarian pick. But, I'm stealing Joe's "L-W-L-W-L...what comes next" corollary, since the Broncos have followed the same pattern this season. I'm using his powers against him! Like that episode of the Superfriends when they
meet Dr. Frankenstein! No, you're a dork. Pick: Denver

Dallas at Minnesota

Joe: Speaking of the suddenly rather pathetic Mr. Favre (doesn't it just seem like things got no fun for Brett awfully fast this season? He's playing like anything but a kid out there!), this game has been hyped as a do-or-die affair for both teams. Dallas always seems like the better team in these matchups, huh? Maybe away from the so many damned penalties. Pick: Dallas

Aaron: And, for five weeks of mediocre prognostication...I now have to root for Brett Favre. Leave him alone,
Deadspin! Leave him alone! Pick: Minnesota

Indianapolis at Washington

Joe: Indy hasn't looked impressive against anyone but the Giants this year, but the Redskins can't win ugly-looking games they probably should have lost every week. Pick: Indianapolis

Aaron: I'd like to thank Peyton Manning for offering up his worst performance of the season last week and torpedoing not one, but TWO of my fantasy teams. If any of you know him, could ask him to throw better tonight? Pick: Indianapolis

Tennessee at Jacksonville

Joe: Jacksonville is 3-2 and still might be one of the 4 worst teams in the league. I'm going to keep saying this until their record reflects reality. Pick: Tennessee

Aaron: TWO black quarterbacks in the same game? Remember these salad days of athletic civil rights when you're all voting Republican in November. Pick: Tennessee


Jeff Hansen said...

"Jacksonville is 3-2 and still might be one of the 4 worst teams in the league. I'm going to keep saying this until their record reflects reality."

Not only do I agree, but another one of the four is Arizona! This season is so weird...

NY Jon said...

It is never too early for a Hammer/Deion Sanders collabo.

Your obscure linking knows no bounds.