Last Week:
Joe: 11-5
Aaron: 10-6
Tom: 9-7
Overall:
Joe: 32-16
Aaron: 27-21
Tom: 26-22
San Francisco at Atlanta
Aaron: The 49ers fired offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye this week. In the days following, players made no effort to conceal their glee – on the record – with the media. I'd argue that co-workers haven't been THIS excited over the firing of a black man since, what…Isaiah Washington from Grey's Anatomy? Terrence Howard from Iron Man? Omarosa? Pick: Atlanta
Joe: Governor David Patterson. You forgot Governor David Patterson. Anyway, after three weeks, I've come to the shocking conclusion that the Falcons are good and the Niners pretty much aren't. Pick: Atlanta
N.Y. Jets at Buffalo
Aaron: The Bills have faced two top-10 defenses (based on points allowed) in the first month and struggled to score. They were, however, competitive against the Patriots (28th in points allowed). Let's see where the Jets fall…oh. They're seventh-best. On an unrelated note, Stanford QB Andrew Luck is now projected as the 2011 #1 draft pick, Buffalo. Pick: NY Jets
Joe: Good thing Buffalo ownership has no interest in paying #1 draft pick money to QB! Joke's on you, athletes! Ugh. Murder me in my sleep. Pick: NY Jets
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Aaron: The 0-3 Browns are getting some "upset buzz" and the Bengals are one of a handful of teams capable of crapping the bed against an inferior opponent in any given week (along with the Chargers and "any team quarterbacked by Donovan McNabb"). Week #15 – at home to the Browns – seems like a better place for the Bengals to fall on their faces. Pick: Cincinnati
Joe: Road games inside the division are tough. And while it's not ironclad reasoning, I can't think the Bengals are good enough to be 3-1. Pick: Cleveland
Detroit at Green Bay
Aaron: In Week #1, I wrote:: "I'm not subscribing to the simmering notion that the Lions are on the rise". In Week #2, I picked the Lions to upset the Eagles. Last week, I bet the Lions (+10.5) to cover against Brett Favre's exhumed carcass. I'd like to invoke the "cancel anytime" clause in my subscription and want to know which one of you goddam kids filled out the subscription postcard with my name and address in the first place. Pick: Green Bay
Joe: It keeps not getting better for Detroit. After a frustrating Monday night loss, you'd figure the Packers would take out their aggressions on the Lions like an angry kid punching a pillow or David O. Russell calling Lily Tomlin the c-word (look it up). Pick: Green Bay
Carolina at New Orleans
Aaron: Temperamental Panthers WR Steve Smith has had his media access limited by the team for fear that he'll go off on his own teammates and front office. This is the same man who was once suspended for two games after breaking a teammate's nose with one punch. Let's keep his frustrations bottled up. Pick: New Orleans
Joe: A host of injuries on the Saints offense could keep this closer than you expect. Then there's the matter of the Panthers scoring points. This might be the fiercest defensive struggle in New Orleans since Marge Simpson came at Ned Flanders with a bottle on "Oh! Streetcar!" Pick: New Orleans
Baltimore at Pittsburgh
Aaron: Kudos to the NFL for keeping these two teams and their
Joe: I worry that the Steelers may have gotten all their offense out of their system last week against Tampa. As much as I can possibly "worry" about a team I have no particular rooting interest in or affection for. Pick: Baltimore
Denver at Tennessee
Aaron: The stats say that the Broncos have the third worst running game in the NFL and the second best passing game. If you had to bet your life on Denver finishing in one of those two places at the end of the season, which one would it be? What's that? Oh, Kyle Orton. Kyle Orton is the quarterback for the Broncos. He's the one who finished 2-8 as a starter last year. Don't let that sway you. Pick: Tennessee
Joe: Denver's going to be that bad team that plays just well enough to fool you into thinking they'll win the next week. All season. Pick: Tennessee
Seattle at St. Louis
Aaron: The Rams have very quietly been impressive on defense this season (yes, against Arizona, Oakland and Washington) and Seattle seems primed for a letdown after last week's upset win against San Diego with a road game against the Bears looming next week. C'mon, NFC West. Get one team to 8-8 just to shove it Bill Simmons' face. Pick: St. Louis
Joe: Damn it, Cam. I was going for the St. Louis upset pick this week. Fine, fine, but let me lay out my logic anyway: Shoulda gone with my gut and picked them against Washington last week, Sam Bradford is Rookie QB Good (i.e. makes mistakes but shows flashes of goodness), Seattle is going to be a good home team and a crappy road team this year, and in the novelty rap game of songs that mention big butts, I'll take Nelly's "Hot in Herre" over Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back." Pick: St. Louis
Houston at Oakland
Aaron: If you missed Oakland's last-second, missed field goal loss last week, here's a recap: Sebastian Janikowski was only the third place-kicker to be drafted in the first round (2000). He makes $4M per year. He is 42nd on the career FG percentage list, behind less expensive, more anonymous contemporaries like Nate Kaeding, Robbie Gould and Shayne Graham. I hate so many players on my favorite team. Pick: Houston
Joe: You forgot the part about the GHB arrest. Pick: Houston
Indianapolis at Jacksonville
Aaron: I was surprised by the infinitesimal media maelstrom out of last week's Colts game. They played with just nine players on offense and…wait, what? Oh, they played with nine white players on offense for most of the game. Meh…I'll just wait for the Disney movie. Pick: Indianapolis
Joe: Not to revert to petty Simmons-bashing, but did you catch the podcast where our dear Sports Guy called Austin Collie the best white WR since Fred Belitnikoff? Somehow forgetting that there is a grand tradition of random white WRs having aberrant fantasy-bonanza seasons. Collie isn't even the best white WR on the Colts since Belitnikoff. Brandon Stokely is offended by your remarks, Bill. Drew Bennett is offended. Simmons's assertion didn't even make it to the end of the podcast, when his producer (and beleaguered Bills fan) Joe Meade had to remind Bill that his boyfriend Wes Welker is actually white. In Bill's defense, Boston guys don't see color. ...Sorry, that's "don't see people of color." Also, Jacksonville is an awful football team. Pick: Indianapolis
Arizona at San Diego
Aaron: I love Chargers fans. They collectively react to the team's inconsistent starts as if it isn't an annual event. In a few weeks, they'll envelope themselves within a contrived persecution complex and shout, "No one believed in us!" after a few wins (even though everyone picked them to win the AFC West). It never gets old. Pick: San Diego
Joe: Are you seriously telling me Matt Leinart would be doing WORSE than Derek Anderson right now? Or worse enough to offset the benefit of the groupie overflow to the rest of his teammates? Pick: San Diego
Washington at Philadelphia
Aaron: There are two conflicting storylines here: (1) Donovan McNabb, over the course of his career, has broken the hearts of Eagles fans more than any player in recent memory. (2) Donovan McNabb is capable of a terrible performance at any time. And, hey, Michael Vick might not be the most polarizing player in the stadium! Pick: Philadelphia
Joe: There are so many reasons why Washington is an ideal upset pick, not the least of which is that there is NO good reason they should win this game. Let it never be said that I don't completely suck at logic. Pick: Washington
Chicago at N.Y. Giants
Aaron: Quoting m'man Tom on his blog-that-y'all-should-bookmark: "…it'd be nice if [the Giants] started [winning] before [the] 'Tom Coughlin Needs To Be Fired' news starts… which will start if they lose to the Bears." We'll find out if he's prophetic come Monday. Pick: Chicago
Joe: The Giants are a better team than that loss to the Titans suggests. The Bears tried SO DAMN HARD to lose that game to the Packers on Monday but couldn't pull it off. Pick: NY Giants
New England at Miami
Aaron: The Dolphins have gone 2-2 vs. the Patriots since 2008. Odd, because I thought they'd at least won 3 of 4 since the advent of their wildcat offense. I must derive so much pleasure out of their wins against New England that I count them, like, twice. Pick: Miami
Joe: I can't quite describe the feeling of euphoria in being able to pick against the Patriots and knowing it's based on actual football reasoning and not some mystical island juju hex. Pick: Miami
5 comments:
Because the Trent Edwards experience was so good, the Bills are going to double down on Stanford quarterbacks this year.
Up early and sick as a dog, I'm glad the football picks are here to keep me company!
Joe's line using St. Louis's Nelly and Seattle's Sir Mix-A-Lot absolutely KILLED me!
In a good way I think.
Although the laughing led to a coughing fit which might kill me.
The bad kind.
Feel better, Mrs. That Mexican Guy!
As a sane Eagles fan (I.E.- the majority of Eagles fans that get no attention because it doesn't help the media story that we eat puppies, crap them out, and throw them at opposing teams) here's how I view Donovan McNabb: without a doubt, bar-none the greatest Eagles quarterback of my lifetime (and in the history of the franchise) and one of the three best quarterbacks of the last decade (behind Manning and Brady) who was judged too harshly by the local media and not harshly enough by the national media. Was he solely responsible for the 3 straight NFC title game losses? No, it didn't help that he had offensive help that ranged from "mediocre" to "he's on punk'd, right?". Also not helped by the fact (and this is a stealth secret that NEVER gets mentioned, I didn't even know it until one of the better Fox announcers revealed it) that Jim Johnson's defense doesn't encourage form tackling, but punishing hits aimed at the upper-body. The problem is that if that doesn't stop a guy he gets more YAC and it wears down the defense. That's why we lost the '02 and '08 NFC title game and the Super Bowl. That said, McNabb also had a bad habit of throwing big interceptions at the worst possible moments.
Face it, guys. the Patriots have become the zombies of the NFL. They just keep showing up/feeding off the dead.
Though you have to admit, it would be cool to see Brady do the Undertaker sit-up in a game one of these days. We might even forget about that hair for a moment or two.
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