Sunday, November 22, 2009

2009 NFL Pickery - Week #11

Last Week:

Aaron: 10-5
Tom: 10-5
Joe: 9-6

Season to Date:

Tom: 95-49
Joe: 94-50
Aaron: 91-53

Miami at Carolina

Aaron: Can we all agree that the Panthers upset win over Atlanta last week carries slightly less weight than the whole "Dolphins lost their best player for the rest of the season" thing? Pick: Carolina

Joe: Everything seems to be pointing to Carolina here. Ronnie Brown's injury. The Panthers have been running the ball very effectively as of late. They're at home. Which kind of makes it exactly the kind of game Miami would win just to fuck with me. It's all about me. Pick: Miami

Indianapolis at Baltimore

Aaron: 4...3...1. Those are the margins of victory for the Colts over the past three weeks. The next number in this random pattern would be something like -2 and random patterns - while easy to manipulate - don't lie. Pick: Baltimore

Joe: While it's tough to argue with academia, I figure I'm gonna let this Colts thing ride until it doesn't. Pick: Indianapolis

Seattle at Minnesota

Aaron: Since Mike Holmgren is no longer coaching the Seahawks, what tired Brett Favre storyline will be overreported come Sunday? No fair saying "all of them". Pick: Minnesota

Joe: Oh, like they won't bring that up anyway. Minnesota's leisurely sleigh ride to the playoffs continues. Pick: Minnesota

New Orleans at Tampa Bay

Aaron: Are the Saints actually going to have to lose a game before anyone realizes their entire defense is nothing more than extremely vivid Pixar animation? Pick: New Orleans

Joe: Um...yes? They'll probably have to lose for the first time all season before we start picking them apart. Pick: New Orleans

Atlanta at N.Y. Giants

Aaron: Is it too late to make the "With all the RB injuries in Atlanta, has anyone checked on the availability of Ironhead Heyward?" joke? Too late or too soon? Pick: NY Giants

Joe: Aw. Jamal Anderson weeps at being excluded from your little joke there. In other news, the loser of this one is looking at a seriously uphill climb to the playoffs. I'd like to think the Giants are just, at base, a better team, but...are they? Pick: NY Giants

Washington at Dallas

Aaron: During a schizophrenic, unpredictable Cowboys season, we can all agree on one thing: they're going to win on Thanksgiving Day. Here, too. Pick: Dallas

Joe: Well, Washington got their one crazy win last week (it's taking everything I have not to mention that I totally called it, even if I pussed out of picking it that way). They can pack it in for the season now. Pick: Dallas

Pittsburgh at Kansas City

Aaron: All that's missing from the Steelers' last few weeks of their lame-duck "defending" championship reign are Presidential pardons for past player transgressions. All is forgiven, Kordell Stewart. Pick: Pittsburgh

Joe: They lost one game in their last six. I wouldn't start building the Mike Tomlin Presidential Library yet. Pick: Pittsburgh

Buffalo at Jacksonville

Aaron: Wait, so...Dick Jauron was the problem all along? Huh. Well, then...problem solved. I guess. Pick: Jacksonville

Joe: Dick Jauron was certainly A problem. The fact that we have a good dozen more doesn't mean he didn't need to get fired. Soon comes the fun part where any head coach worth a damn turns down the job because they're too pussy to deal with snow. Pick: Jacksonville

Cleveland at Detroit

Aaron: Are we going to be allowed to bet on "how soon after the regular season" that the Browns fire Eric Mangini? I assume bettors will lay action in 15 minute increments after Cleveland's last game. Pick: Detroit

Joe: Rather than make yet another "hasn't the city of Detroit been through enough?" joke, maybe we should all consider if Detroit had this coming. You can't just allow Andre the Giant to get bodyslammed in your city and have no consequences. Pick: Detroit

San Francisco at Green Bay

Aaron: Depending on the weather, this one has a chance to be uglier than last week's Niners-Bears game - which I didn't see because it was on the NFL Network. But, the highlights? Unwatchable. Pick: San Francisco

Joe: Green Bay needs to win a couple more games before the next time they let their fans down. Pick: Green Bay

Arizona at St. Louis

Aaron: Kurt Warner. Jesus. The Cardinals used to play in St. Louis. I stared at this game for 10 minutes and couldn't find a way to make those three things into a blurb. Pick: Arizona

Joe: And Kurt Warner used to play for St. Louis. And now all he does is PRAY to St. Louis. ...Wait, he's not Catholic, is he? DAMN IT, it's harder than I thought. Pick: Arizona

Cincinnati at Oakland

Aaron: On one hand, I'm pleased that JaMarcus Russell has been benched in favor of, well, anyone else. On the other hand, I'm pleased that JaMarcus Russell has been benched in favor of, well, anyone else. Pick: Cincinnati

Joe: Cedric Benson picked an awfully cushy week to get hurt. Pick: Cincinnati

San Diego at Denver

Aaron: Before I recanted and hopped on the Broncos' bandwagon, I told you guys that they were frauds! Pick: San Diego

Joe: This feels like a "not so fast" game. Pick: Denver

N.Y. Jets at New England

Aaron: Not only will the Pats win - and win big - but, this game will kickstart the "Pats are pissed after the Colts debacle and taking it out on everyone in their path" season-ending storyline. Yawn. Pick: New England

Joe: Have you ever played video games against one of your really unbearably competitive friends who'd lose and totally sulk and overreact and flip out and throw the controller? And while you wish the controller wasn't broken, it was still pretty satisfying to see them all bent out of shape? Yeah, the Jets are that video game controller. Pick: New England

Philadelphia at Chicago

Aaron: Dear San Diego...the notion that NBC would "flex" out this game in favor of Chargers/Broncos is stupid. Eagles + Bears = national following. Chargers + Broncos = two teams I hate, hate, hate. Pick: Chicago

Joe: I hate both these teams. Pick: Philadelphia

Tennessee at Houston

Aaron: Vince Young is essentially running a four-play Tecmo Bowl offense right now, so let's all stop using words like "resurgent" to describe the Titans right now, K? Pick: Houston

Joe: At the very least, Vince Young has muted that "Jeff Fisher might get fired" crazy talk. Pick: Houston

Confidence Pickin' (with current scores)

Joe (31): Steelers (-10) CHIEFS; BUCS (+11) over Saints; Bills (+8.5) over JAGS

Aaron (27): Bengals (-9.5) over RAIDERS; Chargers (-3) over BRONCOS; VIKINGS (-10.5) over Seahawks

Tom (21): Titans +4.5 over TEXANS; Bengals (-9.5) over RAIDERS; Steelers (-10) over CHIEFS

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