TBG Eats: Taco Bell's NEW Volcano Nachos

Current Weight: 168.0 lbs.

That Bootleg Family spent this past weekend in my favorite American city – San Francisco. The temperature never rose above 60 degrees. We spent Saturday night with one of my oldest friends and his family. And, on Sunday, we slogged through a rare opportunity to watch the somnambulant 2009 Oakland A's live*

* - This team is not alive.

Thankfully, three hours of unwatchable baseball couldn't ruin three days in the Bay Area. The only problem is that this here lightly-read blog has suffered in recent weeks from an upper management-labeled "must-win" proposal effort at the Unnamed Defense Contractor…and my TWO weekend getaways while the rest of my co-workers were, uh, working.

So, inspired by the determination, sacrifice and perseverance of my peers, I am re-focusing my commitment to TBG and promise there'll be no more of these "one post every 10 days" gaps in The Goodness. Remember, kids: if given a choice, half-ass the task you'll get paid for anyway. Now…where were we?

On Saturday night, after pulling my five-year-old son's snoring 46 lb. corpse from the back of a cab – a near-impossible task considering his head is 75% of his mass – and carrying him up to our room on the sixth floor, I collapsed in front of the TV. I caught the below commercial and squealed with such effeminate glee that anyone sleeping – save for the hibernating brown bear cub in the back bedroom – was now wide awake.



As I might've mentioned once or twice in these parts, Taco Bell's Volcano Taco was THE fast food find of 2008 and now appears to be a permanent fixture on TB's menu. The Volcano Burrito, however, showed that Taco Bell's "lava sauce" can't turn everything into all kinds of awesome.

But, Volcano Nachos? Chips, beans, ground beef, nacho cheese, red tortilla strips, "cheesy lava sauce", jalapeños and (reduced-fat) sour cream? Please. The ONLY question going in was what, if anything, could keep it from five stars.

These were hearty as hell, loaded with heaping scoops of beef and beans. The cheesy lava sauce had a good amount of heat and was kicked up a wee bit more with the sliced jalapeños. I wasn't even too turned off by the ersatz sour cream, as it wasn't poured all over my order and provided a cooling cut to some of the spice.

In addition to the Volcano Nachos, I ordered a Volcano Taco to fill the gaps in my appetite just in case the nachos didn't fill me up. And, wouldn't you know the nachos filled me up. ME! The guy who eats for eight straight hours at the county fair!

I still ate the taco, though.

Grade: 5 (out of 5) Calories: 910, Fat: 56g