TBG Eats: Doritos® Last Call Tacos at Midnight Flavored Tortilla Chips

Current Weight: 165.6 lbs.

Last week, I reviewed the jalapeño popper flavor of Doritos' limited-time "Last Call" product line. I really shouldn't buy the large bags of chips, as they usually last just two – maybe three – days around my appetite. But, after intentionally avoiding the salted snack food aisle during an after-work trip to the supermarket, I came to the realization that this is what I do. I review junk food. Oh, and I also negotiate and administer multi-million dollar defense contracts. I do those things.

Anyways…"taco night" was always a big deal when I was growing up. My old man is an ex-Marine from Georgia and he didn't believe in eating anything that wasn't "fried, died and laid to the side". Consequently, "ethnic" foods like pizza and tacos were rare treats, served only when my pops was working overnight duty on base once a month.

Back then, I assumed all tacos were alike: processed hard shell filled full of hamburger meat flavored with a packet or two of Lawry's Taco Seasoning and topped with shredded cheese, lettuce and tomato. I'd even done some due diligence on the subject, as the tacos at Taco Bell and my grade-school cafeteria weren't that much different from the ones my mom used to make.

While in junior high school, I lived just up the hill from a tiny, hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. The eatery was about the size of those old one-hour photo kiosks and featured a few ancient benches and tables for outdoor dining only. I don't remember the circumstances, but one night we ended up there for dinner. Imagine my surprise when my "three taco platter" came served in a Styrofoam box. Inside were a trio of uncooked corn tortillas topped with…steak of some kind. With onions and…cilantro?

I ate two "three taco platters" that night and had my heretofore sheltered eyes opened up to a whole new world of Mexican authenticity. In, of all places, Southern California. Who knew?!

Now, it's no secret that I haven't abandoned Taco Bell's eminently Americanized menu. But, if we're really talking "late night" or "last call", my first choice in alcohol absorption will always be the walk-up anonymous Mexican sh*thole that serves up glorious grub like this, and this and…this.

The Doritos version is reminiscent of the taco-flavored chips that Frito-Lay has sold before. These are liberally dusted with "taco seasoning" spices and kinda-sorta taste like any ubiquitous restaurant chain taco. Unfortunately, the Tacos at Midnight chips don't have the same flavor complexity as the jalapeño popper variety. The cheese taste is barely there, while the chip texture is same ol' Doritos, yo.

That's not to knock them, though. I blindly plowed through an entire bag in my usual two days and Mrs. Bootleg – thinking that meant I REALLY liked them – bought two more bags yesterday. Call 'em "acceptably edible, albeit unexceptional".

Probably could've saved nearly 500 words if I had called them that up front, no?

Grade: 2.5 (out of 5) 150 calories, 8g fat per 1 oz. serving