TBG Eats: Rubio's Langostino Lobster Burrito

Current Weight: 165.8 lbs.

Fifteen years ago, I started working for a frozen yogurt/ice cream shop near the beach in the Belmont Shore section of the LBC. I was there for three years and the experience killed my taste for frozen dairy products. These days, I order the "kid's-sized" scoop for myself on the rare occasions that I eat ice cream, while my son Jalen can put away five times that amount in a single sitting.

Sadly, my son had a similar effect on my once-insatiable love for pizza. When I was his age, pizza was a very rare treat and in our house it came from a box – just add water to the dough mix, open the canned sauce and sparsely sprinkle the imitation mozzarella. "It's not delivery…it's welfare!"

As my family's disposable income increased over the years, pizza remained an infrequent meal (my dad's from Georgia and not a fan of "ethnic" foods one can't chicken-fry), but at least we started ordering from disreputable delivery brands like everyone else. When I got my own income, pizza became a staple of gluttony for me that would remain unchanged.

Then, my son showed up. I've noted before that he's a ridiculously picky eater and pizza just happens to be on the short list of things he'll eat without argument. As such, pizza is in our house at least once or twice a week. Been that way for over a year now.

And, I'm f*****g sick of pizza.

So, when we axed Jalen what he wanted for dinner to celebrate the end of his first tee ball season, guess what he picked? He and Mrs. Bootleg ordered in for themselves, while I drove a mile up the road for Rubio's Langostino Lobster Burrito. And, yes, I realize that wasn't nearly as far as the distance of filler in this food review.

There's an interesting little story involving this burrito and a class-action lawsuit from a few years ago. With that in mind, allow me to be the first to describe this burrito as "litigious AND delicious"!

First things first: $7.99 – while in line with the chain's usual "specialty" food pricing – is a wee bit steep for a burrito with a length and weight so much less than a newborn baby. But, Rubio's crams as much goodness as they can fit into a still-kinda-big grilled tortilla.

This ain't high-end lobster meat, but there's plenty of it – nicely seasoned and not overcooked. The rice and beans are used in moderation, while the guacamole and "creamy chipotle picante sauce" were slathered around in all the right places. Rubio's serves it with a scoop of their frustratingly low-salted chips.

Pound-for-pound, the Langostino Burrito probably isn't the best bang-for-your-buck option, but it's a delicious ersatz seafood experience from the franchise that turned ersatz seafood into a regional phenomenon.

Grade: 4 (out of 5)