Monday, April 30, 2007

Peter King Probably Stinks

I don't ask for much on Mondays. Just give me my weekly lunchtime reads like Tom Daniels' East Coast Bias column (aaaaaaany time now, Tom) and Sports Illustrated's Peter King and his Monday Morning Quarterback.

Now, I'm a pretty casual football fan, which is PC-speak for "I'm a Raiders fan". So, while I wait for my team to be good again, just so I can claim that I never lost faith, here's a snippet from King's latest MMQB:

The other day, I'm in the Comfort Inn near the BWI Airport. I open the wrapped soap, use it for a morning shower and put it back on the soap dish. I'd say the soap is about half as thick as the bar you'd buy in the store. This bar could last 10 or 12 days, easily. And so the next morning, when I step into the shower, I find the bar's been taken away. This isn't exclusive to the Comfort Inn-BWI. It happens all the time.

Wait one frickin' minute, here. Peter King can make one of those hotel bars of soap last "10 or 12 days"? Does he know that you're supposed to, y'know, use it and not just stand next to it while hoping to absorb its effeminate chemical scent?

And, using his math, he can get up to 24 days of use with a regular-sized bar of soap. Combine this with what's surely the worst coffee-breath this side of your boss and it makes for a unique blend of scents.

(Am I crazy? Does everyone else get 3+ weeks from one bar of soap?)


that mexican guy said...

Wow, Cam. This is one of those question that I've never thought about. I'm pretty sure a bar of soap lasts me longer than a week, but nowhere near three weeks. Then again, if you only take one shower a day, Mr. King might be onto something.

I'm going to take Peter's side here, but with the above caveat.

(I can't believe I gave this as much thought as I did.)

bryan said...

You're not crazy, Aaron, but you're also not factoring in the fact that Big Peter probably only bathes once a day. That's still pretty gross for someone who sweats as much as he does. One shower a day, five minutes and he probably only hits the hot spots.

Christ, I just threw up on my keyboard.

Tom said...

Yeah I've been working on two new projects that I absolutely would not try to shamlessly plug.

Anonymous said...

I think we all want to know how long ajc makes soap last. That seems to be the one piece of the puzzle that's missing.

I'm guessing he discards the bar after one use.

koko b. ware said...

Please...Cam is California thru and thru, which means nothing but body wash and bath oils. Pansy.

That Bootleg Guy said...

Yeah, I didn't think that there were any adults left who took just one shower a day. In THAT case, I can kind of see it.

Personally, I need one in the morning to wake me up and one in the evening to help power down.

I'm guessing I get 8 or 9 days with my two-a-day soapings. I maintain that Peter King and the rest of you are fools. Fools, I say!