Ogden, Utah – Tomorrow!: Visiting the in-laws for the first time since Thanksgiving 2005.
Arizona – mid-March 2009: We're taking the boy to Spring Training. And, yes, a trip that's entirely built around nothing but baseball is "for the boy". I'm sure I'll get nothing out of this. I still can't believe Mrs. Bootleg is on board, though. We fly in on the 12th. On the 13th, we're seeing the A's down at the Indians' new complex. On the 14th, it's another A's game in Phoenix. We leave on the 15th. Autographs! For the boy.
Cooperstown, NY – Late July 2009: I'm fervently rooting against Jim Rice's eventual induction, just so Rickey Henderson will have the day to himself and I'll be spared an entire weekend of Red Sox Nation. How do those of you who hate the Sox/Patriots/Celtics – or, worse, don't even like sports – live in New England? Cam Fam Summer Vacation – Late August 2009: A return trip to the Pacific Northwest is very tentatively planned, with Mrs. Bootleg pushing for a "Vancouver only" experience and me lobbying hard for a Seattle Mariners hosting the Oakland A's from August 24 through 26 five-day stay in Seattle – the Emerald City. We did three-day stays in both cities back in 2006. Of course, that was a time when our son, Jalen, would sleep for the entire two-hour ride between countries. I ain't sitting in an American-made rental SUV for 120-plus minutes with Chatty McGee and his mom, thankyouverymuch.
Carl's Jr. has done a phenomenal job of positioning itself as "fast food for guys". Their burgers are proudly billed as big, messy two-hand fat bombs that can barely be contained within the confines of one bun.
The two spots Carl's Jr. has created for their new Charbroiled Steak Sandwich successfully continues this testosterone-filled trend. The above ad is getting most of the airplay, while the below commercial is way racier – albeit much easier on the eyes:
(Quick aside: Am I the only one who's noticed a rise in slovenly, unshaven white guys in fast food commercials? Admittedly, I'm about 15 years removed from the "too cool to care" crowd, but these restaurants should know that not everyone who enjoys their products looks like they're running 20 minutes late for an 8:00 AM "Intro to Anthropology" class.)
After one of the more nightmarish weeks within the walls of the Unnamed Defense Contractor, I went drinking last Friday afternoon and chased a few pitchers of cheap beer with this Steak Sandwich.
It's a simple array of ingredients: 100% sirloin steak, lettuce, tomato, two onion rings and mayonnaise on a toasted roll. Not included amongst the toppings: flavor. The meat is completely tasteless. Now, I wasn't expecting it to explode with the gastronomical awesome of Mrs. Bootleg's marinade or a basic, yet effective dry rub, but come on Carl's Jr.
The overly-breaded, deep-fried onion rings neutered the typical kick that raw onions always add, while the limp lettuce and tomato remains an infrequent Achilles' heel for the chain's hit-or-miss meals.
Considering you're out about $7.50 for the sandwich combo meal (with medium fries and drink), one would be wise to invest in the "Six Dollar Burger" combo for about the same price. You'll get more meat for your money, including a variety of toppings and about 60% less pretentiousness.
"Steak" sandwich? More like fake sandwich. Feel free to use that.
Indianapolis at Jacksonville (Thurs.) Aaron: Last week's closer-than-it-should've-been win over Detroit has everyone awaiting Indy's demise. Pride still matters in this league and it's all the Lions have to play for. The Jaguars, on the other hand…not so much. Pick: Indianapolis
Joe: Maurice Jones-Drew. Keep pulling off those 4th quarter TDs. Please and thank you. Pick: Indianapolis
Baltimore at Dallas (Sat.) Aaron: Watching Tony Romo writhe in agony on the ground at Texas Stadium as my fantasy football money league hopes went up in flames was kind of liberating in a way. Now, I can throw financial alliances out the window and root for Ray Lewis to finish the job. Pick: Baltimore
Joe: How sure are you that Ray Lewis will finish the job rather than freak out and speed away from the job, then six months later testifying against the job in exchange for immunity? Pick: Dallas Miami at Kansas City Aaron: My sincere thanks to Chiefs coach Herm Edwards for his colossal incompetence in blowing an 18 point lead to a DOA Chargers team and costing me a win last week. Way to set back the movement of us light-skinned bruthas, asshole. Pick: Miami
Joe: Miami's been riding the razor's edge seemingly for the last nine weeks or whatever. Can they get by one more week and make it to a division-deciding matchup with the Jets next week. Weird as it seems, I'm rooting for them. Sorry, guys. Pick: Kansas City
New Orleans at Detroit Aaron: A lot's being made of Drew Brees' opportunity for a 450+ yard performance here, but that Saints defense against a Lions team fighting like hell to avoid becoming an eternal punchline… I think the Lions win here on a field goal in OT. (But, I'm NOT losing this pool because of this game, so…) Pick: New Orleans
Joe: Gah! Thought I had one there. Pick: New Orleans
Cincinnati at Cleveland Aaron: Sorry, Ohio…you ceased being relevant to me after Obama carried your state, and I have no further use for you. Looking forward to your State school's annual BCS annihilation at the hands of Texas, though. Pick: Cincinnati
Joe: Did Cincy have their last hurrah win last week or do the Browns make a play for a Top-3 draft pick? Decisions, decisions. Pick: Cleveland
San Diego at Tampa Bay Aaron: Despite one of the most disappointing seasons for a supposed Super Bowl contender in the last thirty years, the Chargers just might have momentum on their side – in the form of how bad the Bucs have looked lately. Pick: San Diego
Joe: The Bucs have won ugly before, they can do it again. Pick: Tampa Bay
Pittsburgh at Tennessee Aaron: Anyone else notice how many of those ridiculously redemptive "Kerry Collins is the reason for the season" stories failed to mention the importance of Albert Haynesworth to the Titans? Good luck the rest of the way without him, Tennessee. Pick: Pittsburgh
Joe: That harsh winter wind is really whipping through that Tennessee bandwagon now that it's gotten so sparsely populated. Feel free to use Bill Simmons to cushion your fall, guys. Pick: Pittsburgh
San Francisco at St. Louis Aaron: The 49ers are 3-4 under Mike Singletary. His old-school ways and game day intensity are being lauded as "refreshing" by the media. This time next year – when his team has tuned out this lunatic – that same media will lecture us on how Singletary's tactics won't work in today's NFL. Pick: San Francisco
Joe: I can't decide whether St. Louis is one non-broken-down quarterback away from being halfway decent or not. Suppose it doesn't matter much this week. Pick: San Francisco
Arizona at New England Aaron: When Tarvaris Jackson walks into Arizona and throws four TD passes, it's time to officially close the curtain on the Cardinals' '08 season. Can't wait to bet next month's mortgage against 'em when the playoffs start! Pick: New England
Joe: It'd be awfully ungracious for me to bitch about Anquan Boldin sitting out this week after he pretty much put my fantasy football season on his back for a good 2/3 of the year, but...GOD DAMN IT. Pick: New England
Buffalo at Denver Aaron: I've just got a weird feeling that next week's Chargers vs. Broncos game in San Diego is actually going to mean something. Plus, the Bills just have to be looking to redeem themselves after last week's, umm…"flubbed ending". Right, Joe? Pick: Buffalo
Joe: See, that's where you're wrong, Cam. And I have an equally weird feeling that next week's Chargers/Broncos game will mean less than nothing. Pick: Denver
N.Y. Jets at Seattle Aaron: Right on cue, everyone's using the last three weeks to jump off the Brett Favre bandwagon. Fools. Don't you realize that your pessimism only makes him stronger? Against all odds, Favre wins here then lays his long-awaited four INT stinkbomb next week vs. Miami or in the wild-card round of the playoffs. Pick: NY Jets
Joe: Too many people making Seattle the trendy upset pick of the week. I can't imagine I'd be that fortunate. Pick: NY Jets
Houston at Oakland Aaron: Not sure what I'm looking more forward to: the litany of third and fourth tier names who turn down an opportunity to interview for the Raiders' head coaching job or the eventual August press conference that removes the "interim" tag from Tom Cable's title. Pick: Houston
Joe: The Texans' brass should really look into developing a serum which would fool their players into playing like they're 1-6 all year long. Pick: Houston
Philadelphia at Washington Aaron: Happy Holidays to RB Clinton Portis and his gutless Redskins teammates who let an execrable Bengals squad beat 'em last Sunday without a fight, ending my fantasy football money league dreams. How 'bout you dedicate next year to winning, instead of Sean Taylor, 'K? Pick: Philadelphia
Joe: Let the record show (tm Claire Huxtable) that Cam's original pick of "Miami" was submitted for reconsideration due to the indelible kindness of certain unnamed persons. Let the record also show that I'd really like to pick Washington here except for how they're playing like such shit. Pick: Philadelphia
Atlanta at Minnesota Aaron: Favorite moment of the 2008 season – when Michael Turner surpassed his former mentor LaDanian "Classy" Tomlinson on everyone's 2009 fantasy running back depth charts. Pick: Atlanta
Joe: The Christmas spirit is strong in this one. And Atlanta has more to play for than Minnesota right now. Pick: Atlanta
Carolina at N.Y. Giants Aaron: So, I appear to be the last man alive to give the Panthers their due. And, I'm still holding out. They've beaten TWO pretty good teams this year (Atlanta, definitely and I'm being generous with the Bucs). Their other nine wins have been against varying degrees of mediocrity. Pick: NY Giants
Joe: Seeing as the Giants only started going downhill after you'd decided you suddenly believed in them, the Panthers are probably not too crushed. On the road against a still-good Giants team is probably not their best showcase, but they run the ball well (or haven't you heard) and play good defense. Pick: Carolina
Green Bay at Chicago Aaron: The promos for Monday Night Football tell me that this is the oldest rivalry in the NFL. They leave out the "these two teams are a combined 13-15" line from the script. Pick: Chicago
Joe: There is every chance that my fantasy league championship will come down to this game, and Devin Hester vs. Donald Driver. Good lord, may I make it to New Year's. Pick: Chicago
The Sure-Thing Suicide Spread: Aaron:Pittsburgh (-2) at Tennessee Joe: Arizona at New England (-7.5)
The Good News: When all 8,000 A's fans were singing Greg Smith's praises after he posted a 2.84 ERA in his first ten starts, I was the voice of reason that screamed, "Wait! He's not as awesome as you think!" Thankfully, the A's front office saw what I saw and flipped him to Colorado in the Matt Holliday deal. Smith was pretty OK in the first half (3.43 ERA), he held lefties to a .270 OBP on the year and his 15 pickoffs were one of the highlights – seriously – of the team's entire season. Ugh.
The Bad News: Smith completely imploded in the second half (2-9, 5.17 ERA) as his career-high workload caught up with him. He's got average stuff and a razor-thin margin of error, so the league simply laid off of any breaking pitch he threw and forced Smith to come at 'em with a 90 mph fastball he could only occasionally toss for strikes.
2009 Outlook: It kind of sucks that all of the Billy Beane sycophants – who LOVED Smith out of the gate – called him a low-ceiling #5 starter and focused on his won-loss record (obtained with the worst run support in the league) as Smith was on his way out the door. Still, his future is in the bullpen, where he could make millions as a Paul Assenmacher/Alan Embree imitation.
Dana Eveland
9-9, 4.34 ERA, 29 GS
The Good News: After an early August demotion to Triple-A, Eveland came back three weeks later and had a half-dozen strong starts (2.84 ERA, 2-0) before getting cuffed around in his final start of the year. He recorded a 3.49 ERA in the first half and pitched well vs. lefties all season.
The Bad News: Eveland walked 77 and struck out 118 – a terrible ratio made worse by the fact that he walked more than four batters per nine innings. RH hitters reached base at an ungodly .371 (OBP) clip. It'd be nice to see the 25-year-old take his conditioning a little more seriously. You can be a fat steaming load – a la David Wells – when your résumé shows you've earned the right.
2009 Outlook: The A's have some blue-chip pitching prospects in the pipeline behind Eveland, so he's probably not anyone's long-term answer in the rotation. Watching him blob around the basepaths during Interleague play has me hoping that he ends up in the National League, eventually. As it stands, he's probably our #3 starter right now. Damn it.
Justin Duchscherer
10-8, 2.54 ERA, 22 GS
The Good News: It was something of a breakout campaign for the unassuming, erstwhile relief pitcher. He spent most of the season among the league leaders in ERA and was named to the All-Star Game (where Fox PBP guy Joe Buck – unfamiliar with any player east of the Mississippi – mispronounced Duke's last name). He was often economical with his pitch count while going deeper into games as the season wore on.
The Bad News: As pretty much everyone predicted, Duke wasn't able to make it through his first season as a full-time starter. A hip injury nagged him all year long, before finally shutting him down in mid-August with just 141 innings pitched. There's a terrific piece over at fangraphs.com that suggests – correctly, IMO – that some of Duke's success in '08 is not sustainable going forward.
2009 Outlook: I thought the A's should've moved Duchscherer last season at the same time they were showing Joe Blanton and Rich Harden the door. Duke will be a free agent after this season and is either going to (1) price himself right out of Oakland or (2) injure himself right back to the bullpen. He's our ace as of this writing.
Huston Street
7-5, 3.73 ERA, 63 Games
The Good News: Finished the season with a flourish, posting a 1.37 ERA over his final 19 2/3 innings in 17 appearances, striking out 20. In the first half, while still the closer, Street shook off a poor start to post a 2.74 ERA and 17 saves from mid-April to mid-July.
The Bad News: On July 13, he spectacularly blew a save against the Angels right before the All-Star Break, effectively killing the A's season. Yes, yes, the two events aren't cause n' effect, but still… Street's always been wound pretty tight, getting flustered and agitated whenever runners reach base or he can't find the touch on his pitches. He blew up at manager Bob Geren during a pitching change in Detroit and ended his A's tenure as a fifth/sixth inning spare part.
2009 Outlook: "Closer mystique", as everyone knows, is overrated. That said, Street ain't got it. He's averaged 25 saves per year in his career and is capable of doing it again, but he'll never be the lights-out stopper he was in 2005 or, to a lesser degree, in 2007.
Brad Ziegler
3-0, 1.06 ERA, 47 Games
The Good News: He threw 39 scoreless innings in 2008 to begin his career – a feat that was unquestionably (and sadly) the biggest highlight of the season for the A's. Already insanely beloved by A's fans, Ziegler blogs at the fansite Athletics Nation and comes across as a humble everyman (he was signed out of an independent league) just happy to be in the bigs.
The Bad News: One of the best and worst things about being an A's fan is that we're conditioned to generally piss on sentiment. Ziegler's 2008 season was superficially excellent, but beneath the buzz, it was a colossal fluke. He allowed his fair share of baserunners (roughly 1.5 per appearance), his BB/K ratio was only 22/30, lefties thumped him pretty good (.800 OPS) and his groundball skill set is heavily dependent on the defense behind him.
2009 Outlook: I'm calling a hee-yuge regression for Ziegler next season, if he's used the same way in '09. He's not without value, but if Oakland really has him earmarked for a part-time closer's role and/or 8th inning bridge, LH hitters will eat him alive. Let him face tough right-handers late in the game or in situations that call for a groundball and the A's could have the best years of Chad Bradford all over again.
Joey Devine
6-1, 0.59 ERA, 42 Games
The Good News: After returning from the disabled list on August 3, Devine didn't give up an earned run the rest of the season spanning 24 appearances. Before hitting the DL, his ERA stood at 1.23 through his first 18 games. LH hitters recorded a .515 OPS against Devine, while righties could only muster a .312 (!!!) on-base plus slugging. He didn't give up a home run all season (in 45 2/3 innings) and avoided the unsightly walk totals that have plagued his abbreviated big league career.
The Bad News: Devine missed about two months with a strained elbow and his rough delivery hints at future arm ailments. He was mostly a low leverage set-up man in 2008, with his best work coming when the A's had long since thrown in the towel on the season. It remains to be seen if Devine can hold up from April to October over the pressure of a real pennant race.
2009 Outlook: A's management envisions a case-by-case division of the closer's role next year. Sometimes it'll be Ziegler, sometimes it'll be Devine. I'd be stunned if this job-sharing nonsense lasted too long, though. Devine does all the things that Ziegler can't: miss bats, intimidate and shut down hitters from both sides of the plate. He not THIS good, but he's better than anyone else the A's have. The whole "grown man called 'Joey'" thing does work my nerves, though.
Chances are you've seen the commercial for NFLshop.com that features an African-American husband and wife exchanging Christmas gifts. The wife receives a toaster from her husband, while the husband "gives his blood" in exchange for a Green Bay Packers jersey.
I should note that I couldn't find the actual commercial anywhere on the interwebs, but you should instantly recognize it from the screen grab in this link. If the goal of the spot was to drive traffic to the NFL's official online retailer, it worked. On the day the commercial debuted, NFLshop.com reported a 260% increase in sales. Still, this particular ad offers up a lot of awful…and that's what I'm here for.
1.) After the husband rattles off some of the features of the $10 toaster ("…it's got a knob for 'light' and 'dark'…") the wife replies with a terse "MmmHmm". It's one of those tired jive-time soundbites that's long been associated with Black women dating back to its '70s & '80s sitcom "sassy Black neighbor" origins. Racist? Absolutely not. But, not every African-American woman is Wilona Woods or Sandra Clark.
2.) As the husband opens his gift, he cuts his finger then proceeds to bleed – in the green and yellow colors of the Green Bay Packers. This is actually a clever little piece of hyperbole, save for one thing: there aren't any Black fans of the Green Bay Packers. There just aren't. Just like there aren't any Black Boston Red Sox fans (we've never forgotten that the BoSox were the last Major League team to integrate – 12 years after Jackie Robinson) or Black Utah Jazz fans (my wife and her family is from Utah and, as a result, I know every African-American in the state…none of them like the Jazz).
3.) If the wife in this ad really loved her husband, she would've NEVER gotten him a personalized jersey with anything but a real player's name on the back. "Pack Daddy #1"?! Really?! There have been a zillion cookie-cutter pieces written on the "rules" for wearing your favorite jersey and all of them include a personalization provision allowing for no leeway here. I'm proud to say Mrs. Bootleg would know better.
Having been an A's fan since 1981, I've had the pleasure of watching some of my favorite players – both all-world and obscure – wear the white shoes and rock the green and gold. But, I haven't openly rooted for every Oakland Athletic. Some were incessantly overhyped rookies, some were unsuccessful closers. Some were more style than substance, some were just jerks. I'll always love my A's…I just hate these guys.
#10 – T.J. Mathews: As part of the worthless 1997 haul from the Cardinals (along with the immortal Eric Ludwick and Blake Stein) for Mark McGwire, Mathews became Oakland's top middle reliever by default. His knack for serving up game-tying or tie-breaking home runs was legendary and forever earned him the moniker "Death to T.J. Mathews" by m'boy – and fellow A's fan – Smitty. He last pitched for the A's in 2001, then bounced around the minors and independent leagues for five more years as part of some demented tour to piss off every baseball fan in America.
#9 – Arthur Rhodes: Whenever anyone points to the unimpeachable genius of A's GM Billy Beane, one can either reference the Tim Hudson trade or the signing of Rhodes as a free agent in 2003 to serve as a rebuttal. Beane was still perched atop his just-published Moneyball mountain of sabermetric blowjobs and hubris. His theory: "closers are made, not born" – so why not make a longtime middle reliever like Rhodes into his new closer? Statheads everywhere defended the move and while Beane's theory is absolutely right, Rhodes was the wrong arm to test it. He was 9 for 14 in save opportunities, surrendering late home runs to everyone from Alex Rodriguez to David F'n Eckstein. When he was finally demoted, he lashed out at the entire organization. Most egregiously, the A's sent him to Pittsburgh for Jason Kendall. Foreshadowing!
#8 – Brian Kingman: I was too young to remember Brian Kingman's bizarre 20-loss season in 1980. He threw 211 innings, posted essentially a league-average ERA (3.83) and completed 10 of his 30 starts. Oh, and the A's scored just 2.87 runs/start for him. That '80s A's pitching staff completed 94 of their 162 total starts under the old-school eye of alcoholic manager Billy Martin. Kingman blamed Martin's overuse for ruining his career – an accusation that isn't entirely untrue – but, any sympathy points he might've garnered were washed away when Kingman began embracing the "celebrity" of his 20-loss season. Take the rampant douchebaggery of the '72 Miami Dolphins, strip the squad of all its talent, fame and place in history – and you've got Brian Kingman. All I can say is: thank you, Mike Maroth.
#7 – Octavio Dotel: Once the Arthur Rhodes experiment had run its calamitous 10-week course, the A's acquired Dotel as part of the three-way Carlos Beltran-to-Houston trade. On June 26 – Dotel's first appearance with the A's – he coughed up a four run lead in the ninth. On July 9 against the Indians, Dotel blew a late 4-2 lead. When the winning Indian run crossed the plate, I punched the coffee table in response resulting in a sweet purpley bruise on the side of my hand from my wrist to the tip of my pinky finger. Dotel would give up nine home runs in a tick over 50 Oakland innings as each save opportunity turned into a two or three-runners-on roller coaster. Lost his job to Huston Street the following year.
#6 – Jeremy Giambi: Just to get it out there, I remain unconvinced that Giambi would've been safe even if he'd slid into home plate during the "Jeter Flip" game in the 2001 ALDS. "Little G's" problem was a sense of entitlement that came from being the kid brother of the A's then-best player. Jeremy's approach was fine for those A's teams – he reached base at a very good clip, had some pop and couldn't field a lick. However, there never seemed to be any accountability for the idiotic way he played the game. In an early April 2001 game, Rangers reliever Mike Venafro walked the bases loaded. On the first pitch he saw, Giambi grounded into a game-ending double play. His off-the-field tomfoolery was cribbed from the 1986 Mets playbook and once his big brother was no longer around to hold his leash, Jeremy Giambi was unceremoniously flipped to Philadelphia.
#5 – Todd Van Poppel: You really had to be following baseball in 1990 to appreciate the Todd Van Poppel experience. Even though ESPN was in the infancy of its eventual worldwide domination of the sports media field, Van Poppel's hype was inescapable. The baseball card industry (then, the ONLY measure prospective talent) couldn't overproduce his rookie cards fast enough in an already oversaturated market. Van Poppel would win just 18 games in an A's uniform and put up season ERAs of 5.04, 6.09 and 7.71 while doing it. He would pitch in the bigs for parts of 11 seasons, compiling the highest lifetime ERA (5.58) for anyone with at least 500 career innings pitched. Hey, that's a record!
#4 – Barry Zito: Zito debuted against the Anaheim Angels throwing Bugs Bunny curveballs that started over the hitter's head and ended somewhere around his shoe tops. Zito won seven games in his rookie year, then 17 the following season. Oddly enough, it in 2002 – when Zito won 23 games and the Cy Young Award – that my fandom for the man took a nosedive. He made his last start of the regular season on the last day of the regular season, instead of saving himself for Game #1 of the ALDS. Consequently, the A's best pitcher that year started just one playoff game and Oakland was sent home early when the Twins upset 'em in five. From there, Zito began a slow decline into an – at best – average pitcher. His starts turned into torturous ordeals where his pitch count would be at 110 in the fifth inning. His post-game interviews after yet another loss included ridiculous lines like, "I made good pitches". His flaky lefty schtick got so obnoxiously disingenuous that even Zito tried to tamp it down. Watching him suck mightily in San Francisco has warmed the darkest recesses of my heart. Keep making good pitches, weirdo.
#3 – Jason Kendall: One of the most polarizing players in recent A's history, Kendall spent 2 ½ seasons in green and gold. The sycophantic local media successfully conned the know-nothing portion of the A's fanbase into thinking that Kendall's unshaven face and permanent scowl equaled "leadership". And, whenever anyone quotes the mythical and un-measurable skill of "game calling" as a legitimate attribute, you know you're hearing the equivalent of complementing the ugly girl with the "great personality". Kendall was just a terrible hitter in Oakland, save for drawing walks decently in 2005-06. His ability to hit into double plays was almost legendary, while his opposite field infield groundouts were the stuff of Little League. By 2007, he'd become almost impervious to criticism, while racking up a .542(!!!) OPS over 80 games. His supporters pointed to the team's ERA as if this nancy had anything to do with the outcome of a ball that's pitched and put into play. Now in Milwaukee, I wonder why he's getting no credit for CC Sabathia's half-season there.
#2 – Eric Byrnes: Even when Byrnes was at the apex of his popularity in Oakland, I never climbed aboard the bandwagon. Most A's fans saw Byrnes as a whirling dervish on the basepaths and a kamikaze daredevil in the field who – wait for it – got the most out of his abilities. He lived the gimmick with a goofy, self-deprecating interview style that the media ate up with a spoon. Never mind that Eric Byrnes might be the most fundamentally unsound player alive today. I've watched him off an on for his entire nine-year career and I can say the next cutoff man he hits will be his first. He swings from the heels on almost every pitch, playing a power game that he's ill-suited for. And, while he owns a terrific lifetime stolen base percentage, he's actually an embarrassingly bad baserunner who famously help cost the A's an ALDS win over the Red Sox when he opted to bowl over catcher Jason Varitek, instead of touching home plate. Byrnes is a glorified fourth outfielder whose balls-out approach consistently wears him down over the course of a full season (career first half OPS: .826, second half OPS: .695).
#1 – Bobby Crosby: The 2004 rookie of the year – in what would turn out to be one of the weakest crops of AL freshmen in a generation (Shingo Takatsu? Ross Gload?) – Crosby somehow parlayed that 22 home run season into a five-year run as the Oakland A's regular shortstop. From 2005-07, Crosby never played in more than 96 games and never hit more than nine homers. He was frequently excused by fans and the media with the "if he could only stay healthy" caveat, yet when he was healthy he wasn't hitting. In 2008, Crosby played in 145 games, racking up 605 plate appearances and rewarded the team's inexplicable loyalty to the tune of a .645 OPS. His approach at the plate is simply "pull everything". It hasn't changed since his rookie year and watching him rollover the top of one change-up after another has become something of a summer tradition. Like most bad ballplayers, he remains completely oblivious to his own sucktitude and publicly pissed and moaned when the A's announced his playing time would be cut last September. "The Crosby Show" can't be cancelled soon enough for my taste. (Been sittin' on that one for awhile now.)
