Thursday, October 18, 2012

2012 NFL Pickery -- Week #7

Last Week 

Joe: 7-7
Aaron: 4-10 
Current Standings 

Joe: 55-36
Aaron: 49-42

Seattle at San Francisco (Thursday) 

Aaron: So,'re telling me that home teams are 4-1 on Thursday nights this season while my record for picking Thursday night winners is 1-4?  If only there was a pattern to be discerned from this.  While I research this, I'll just pick my Thursday night winners based on the cuter helmet.  And, yes, it IS the same formula used by Dwayne in the "Give Me Odds" episode of What's Happening!! -- original air date, November 10, 1977.  Pick: San Francisco 

Joe: I know the "WTF NFC West?!" storyline is a pretty easy one, but SERIOUSLY, THOUGH! Seattle's resume has the most dubious victory (though doesn't the replacement-ref scandal seem like ages ago now), and they have to share their Pats win with the Cardinals, while the 49ers have been kind of enough to remind us every three weeks or so that we tend to overrate them due to their being the 49ers. This seems like a classic rebound game though. Pick: San Francisco

Tennessee at Buffalo 

Aaron: Within a span of six months, Buffalo fans endured the controversial goal by the Dallas Stars and their beloved Sabres in game six of the Stanley Cup Finals AND the "Music City Miracle" loss by their Bills.  This goes a long way towards explaining Joe's recurring Brett Hull, Lorenzo Neal, Frank Wycheck and Kevin Dyson-related night terrors.  Pick: Buffalo 

Joe: By my self-imposed directive that I should pick the Bills to beat bad teams and lose to good teams this season, my pick here should be elementary. The win at Arizona threw that off-balance last week. Time to restore balance to the force. Pick: Tennessee

Baltimore at Houston 

Aaron: 37-year-old Ravens LB Ray Lewis suffered a "complete triceps tear", but there's reportedly a chance that he could be back on the field before the end of the season. Older athlete playing at an all-pro level suffers grotesque exploding muscle injury and has chance at an expedited, heretofore medically-impossible recovery time.  Even Barry Bonds is like, "C'mon, y'all...".  Pick: Houston 

Joe: A bit of underreported good news for Ravens fans this week, as Lewis's triceps injury was to his non-snitching arm. Repeat: his non-snitching arm. Pick: Houston

Washington at NY Giants 

Aaron: The Giants went into San Francisco last week and beat a very good 49ers team without QB Eli Manning putting up exceptional numbers.  Like Linus and the Great Pumpkin, I keeping waiting for that annual late-October appearance from "mediocre Eli".  I never know what to expect when the NFC East Mega-Powers explode and this one feels like we'll be retroactively talking about how "...we should've seen this loss coming..." for the Giants come Monday.  Still...  Pick: NY Giants 

Joe: Here I am, shaking my head at people who refuse to accept that Eli has evolved. And yet, these NFC East matchups steadfastly refuse to make sense. Could the Giants drop all three games against their division opponents? I guess I'm saying yes? Pick: Washington

New Orleans at Tampa Bay 

Aaron: Damned if I can figure out the Saints.  But, they're coming off a bye week AND get to play the second-worst pass defense in the NFL, so we can all mothball New Orleans' whole "riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest" description for at least one week.  Pick: New Orleans 

Joe: Tampa's just as much of an enigma, though. I'm not sure I love them as much as I did in their blowout of the Chiefs, but with the transitive property at work, KC beat New Orleans, so the Bucs should beat them by at least 40 points!!! Pick: Tampa Bay

Green Bay at St. Louis 

Aaron: So, the Packers that we've been waiting for all season finally showed up last Sunday in Houston and people are ready to elevate them into the "team you DON'T want to play" pantheon?  I like this match-up for the Rams, actually. They've got a very good pass defense and...wait, Houston had a good pass defense, too.  Pick: Green Bay 

Joe: I think the Packers win, but it's back to those unsatisfying "why isn't this a blowout?" wins. Pick: Green Bay

Arizona at Minnesota 

Aaron: Cardinals QB Kevin Kolb suffered a serious injury last week that involved two of his ribs separating from his sternum.  Between this and the concussion epidemic, my young son will NEVER play football.  He prefers pitching, anyway.  You know what kind of injuries keep a pitcher from making a start?  A blister. A "tired" arm. Et cetera.  Pick: Minnesota 

Joe: The NFC's two feel-good surprise teams of the season get to beat up on each other for our amusement. Taking the home team against a good defense. Pick: Minnesota

 Cleveland at Indianapolis 

Aaron: It's a little unseemly to attribute every Colts win as an inspirational effort for their leukemia-stricken head coach, while chalking up the losses to the "pressure" of playing for their leukemia-stricken head coach.  There's some truth on both sides, I'm sure.  Also true? The Browns are abominable.  Pick: Indianapolis 

Joe: It's important for a growing rookie QB to feed on slow-moving prey like the Browns in order to sustain him through the lean weeks. Pick: Indianapolis

Jacksonville at Oakland 

Aaron: Interesting stretch for my Raiders with three winnable games over the next three weeks. I'm not ready to read anything into last week's near-miss in Atlanta.  Oakland committed 12 penalties (after entering the game with just 10 penalties all season), RB Darren McFadden averaged just 2.5 yards/carry, and QB Carson Palmer crapped the bed with a late pick-six.  Yet, somehow this sh*tty Jags team has become a de facto gut check for the Raiders.  Pick: Oakland 

Joe: Weird seeing such support for a crappy team on the road against an inconsistent team. Not buying. Pick: Oakland

NY Jets at New England 

 Aaron: I understand how the hyper-critical, hyper-cynical 24/7 news thrasher is designed to pulverize professional athletes, but the recent Tom Brady backlash by Patriots fans seems unfair -- even by the standards of a fanbase that has hated on him at times for the length of his hair and his home in California.  He's old, you guys.  He's just old.  Pick: New England 

Joe: I hate when I'm forced to defend Tom Brady, but Cam's exactly right. This is a classic anger game where the Pats let their fans re-inflate their heads while their teams runs up the score. Pick: New England

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati 

Aaron: How do these low-scoring, defense-first AFC North showdowns always seem to be featured on Sunday night or Monday night in primetime?  It's excruciating football that's filled with field goals and punts.  It's pro football's answer to the league that lets the pitcher hit.  Pick: Cincinnati 

Joe: Too true. Picking against the trends here -- Pittsburgh is a team in decline, while the Bengals are going to be maddeningly tough to shake. All NFL prognosticators make "reverse-psychology" as integral to their strategies as I do, right? Pick: Pittsburgh

Detroit at Chicago 

Aaron: The Detroit sportswriters get to cover Yankees 3B/pariah Alex Rodriguez AND Bears QB Jay Cutler in the span of about five days?  How will Mitch Albom juxtapose the two and turn it into another saccharine best-seller that's perfect for Father's Day?!  Pick: Chicago 

Joe: Hate everything about Detroit this week, from their awful quarterback to the dome-team-outdoors thing, to the fact that even their wins look like losses. But I'm not ready for the 5-1 Bears. I'm just not. Pick: Detroit

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