Tuesday, April 5, 2011
My Son Knows More About Baseball Than You...and Possibly Me
We're less than a week into the 2011 baseball season. These are actual conversations with my seven-year-old son Jalen since Opening Day...
Jalen: [Out of the blue, in the back seat, on the way to school] "Do you think Cincinnati is going to finish in first place?"
Me: [Driving, half-listening] "Uh, maybe. They've got some good young hitters like Joey Votto and...uh, the other guy. Why can't I remember his name? He put up some solid numbers..."
Jalen: "Jay Bruce."
Me: "Jay Bruce! Yeah. Jay Bruce."
Jalen: [Watching Braves/Nationals highlights] "Daddy, how come Dan Uggla isn't wearing number six?"
Me: "How on earth do you know what number Dan Uggla is supposed to wear?"
Jalen: "Well, that's the number he wore when he played with the Marlins."
Me: "I don't know, J. Maybe someone with the Braves is already wearing number six."
Jalen: "Wait. That was [former Atlanta manager] Bobby Cox's number. They're probably gonna retire it."
Me: [Hauling my jaw off the ground] "How do you know this?"
Jalen: "I just do."
Jalen: [Excitedly racing downstairs this past Saturday] "Daddy, did the A's win?"
Me: "We lost, 6-2. And, we made five errors. It's only the first game of the season, J."
Jalen: "Did Texas win?"
Me: "I think so."
Jalen: "And, the Angels won already, right?"
Me: "I think they did."
Jalen: "Awww...that means we're in LAST place!"
Me: [Head explodes.]