Saturday, September 18, 2010

2010 NFL Pickery -- Week #2

Last Week:

Joe: 11-5
Tom: 10-6
Aaron: 9-7


Joe: 11-5
Tom: 10-6
Aaron: 9-7

Arizona at Atlanta

Aaron: LOTS of "See?! I told you Atlanta wasn't for real!" coming out of last week's loss to Pittsburgh. I'm reminded that I saw Will Ferrell's uneven The Other Guys last weekend. When I've shared this, I get the holier-than-thou "I don't know why you waste your money on his movies" lecture. The Falcons may not be Anchorman, but they're good enough to (old) school the Cardinals. Pick: Atlanta

Joe: Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I pretty much called exactly how last week's Falcons game would go. I don't think it's time to panic -- that Steelers defense will make a lot of offenses look inept. Speaking of inept offenses ... sorry, Arizona. Pick: Atlanta

Tampa Bay at Carolina

Aaron: I don't wanna be "that guy", Tampa Bay, but Panthers QB Matt Moore looked abominable in last week's loss to the Giants and suffered a concussion, yet he's still going to start against you guys. How are you gonna react to such an abject lack of respect?! Oh, right. Pick: Carolina

Joe: These intra-division NFC South matchups rarely go the way you expect them to, but if I'm trying to simplify things: Carolina lost to a good Giants team last week; Tampa beat a terrible Cleveland team. The universe needs these things to even out. Pick: Carolina

Kansas City at Cleveland

This game would appear to be quite the effective retort to those phenomenal "rival fans"
DirecTV spots. Then, again, my wife buys me the Major League Baseball TV package for my birthday every year based solely on my love for the similarly sad-sack Oakland A's. A fool and their! Pick: Cleveland

Joe: Have you heard that we're not supposed to the Week 1 results? Not to ignore such widespread advice, but I have to say, the Chiefs really impressed me on Monday night. The running game looks explosive, the defense looks spirited (if probably still weak-ish in the secondary), and big-play special teams will swing 2-3 games in their favor this season. 8-8 seems quite do-able, which means 9-7 and a division title is just a lucky bounce away. Meanwhile, Seneca Wallace could use a lucky bounce or ten. Pick: Kansas City

Philadelphia at Detroit

Aaron: I watched most of Michael Vick's "electrifying" relief performance last week. He still doesn't do the fundamental quarterback-y stuff very well and, with a week to prepare for him, the pissed off Lions should...wait, Detroit's starting their back-up QB, too? No...I'm not talking myself out of this. Pick: Detroit

Joe: You're a brave man, though I do agree with the first half of that blurb. Still, Lions fans, don't think I didn't try to get you to slow your roll (for your own good!) last week. Pick: Philadelphia

Pittsburgh at Tennessee

My favorite never-fail, two-tiered prognosticating tactic (which team has the best player, which team's at home) gives the edge to the Titans here. Vince Young, 2-0 to start the season. Accept it, planet Earth. Pick: Tennessee

Joe: I actually wouldn't be shocked to see the Steelers bottle up the Titans O like they did to Atlanta last week, but I'm not sure the Steelers will be putting up many points at all until Rapey McGee returns to the lineup. Pick: Tennessee

Miami at Minnesota

Aaron: If Brett Favre's 2009 season was the equivalent of Robert Patrick's T-1000 character reassembling itself from liquid metal in Terminator 2: Judgment Day, then his 2010 season could be akin to Patrick's ruination of The X-Files. Pick: Minnesota

Joe: That analogy is so beautiful, I kinda don't want to ruin it by saying anything. Pick: Minnesota

Baltimore at Cincinnati

This week's Sports Illustrated included a feature on last week's Bengals loss that went out of its way to paint WRs Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco as self-promoting, vainglorious dolts. Sports Illustrated -- a week behind on in-game reporting, a lifetime behind everything else. Pick: Baltimore

Joe: After last week, the Bengals defense might be exactly the tonic that the Ravens' offense is looking for. Pick: Baltimore

Chicago at Dallas

I can already tell that Dallas is going to be my annual "team I can't figure out from week-to-week". Should I be impressed that the Cowboys so spectacularly crapped the bed last Sunday, but still only lost by six points on the road? They'll have it all figured out in time for their home opener, right? GAH! See?! Pick: Dallas

Joe: Yeah, I think the lesson here is more that the Bears' offense is just as inept this year as it was last year. Pick: Dallas

Buffalo at Green Bay

Aaron: I'm facing Packers QB Aaron Rodgers in both of my fantasy leagues this week. Much like the Bills, I'm inclined to cut my losses here and look ahead to week three. What's that, you say? The Bills travel to New England in week three? Oh, Joe. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: Last year, my suicide-pool dreams were dashed when the Packers got beat at home by the (then-) lowly Bengals. If my own crappy Bills do the same to me this year, I might not be able to forgive them. Pick: Green Bay

St. Louis at Oakland

Aaron: The same sports media that built up Oakland a surprise team or even a fringe contender coming into the season quickly backpedaled after last week's loss to the Titans. The Raiders' soft schedule was the team's sole hope for seven or eight wins. Don't judge 'em against a very good Titans team...judge them here. If they can't beat the Rams -- at home -- by 10 points, I'll be hibernating until Spring Training. Pick: Oakland

Joe: Sam Bradford played not-terribly enough to give decent hope for future good play. ...You know, down the road. Next year, perhaps. Pick: Oakland

Seattle at Denver

Aaron: How many of these "team that lost on the road in week one gets to play in front of their raucous home crowd for week two" games are there going to be this week? In this scenario, always take the home team. Uh, unless it's Cincinnati. Pick: Denver

Joe: Denver doesn't impress me. I mean, neither does Seattle, but I can decide whether they were just handed that Niners game on a platter. So ... I actually just flipped a coin. Pick: Denver

Jacksonville at San Diego

Aaron: For the first time since November 2004, a Chargers home game will be blacked out locally here in San Diego. I cannot tell you how much I'm looking forward to a steady stream of "WTF? What channel is the Chargers game on?" Facebook status updates from my friends here who aren't entirely familiar with the league's broadcast policies. Hee! Pick: San Diego

Joe: I'm sorry, do the Chargers fans not want to brave the harsh San Diego weather out at the stadium? Did one loss after a 13-win season take all the wind out of their sails? You all disgust me! Pick: San Diego

New England at N.Y. Jets

Humor me...isn't it possible that the Patriots aren't as awesome as their obliteration of an overrated Bengals squad made them look? And, how much credit does the Ravens' always-solid defense get for shutting down the Jets' offense? My point? Settle down, Bill Simmons. Pick: NY Jets

Joe: I wish I had your faith, my friend. Pick: New England

Houston at Washington

Aaron: In the interest of time, I think I'm just going to recycle my "...unless they have a time machine to 2005..." joke that I used with the Bengals last week and apply it here to the Redskins. Cool? Cool. Pick: Houston

Joe: I don't want to ruin it. I REALLY don't want to ruin it. I really shouldn't even say it. I'm being incredibly foolish right now. But ... I'm really happy to have Arian Foster on my fantasy team. Pick: Houston

N.Y. Giants at Indianapolis

Half-asleep home crowd? Check. Questions about the home team's ability to stop an especially bludgeoning running game? Check. Incessant shots from the luxury box of the Manning family? Probably. A handful of new prime-time spots featuring Peyton and Eli Manning's participation in the Oreo Cookie
Double Stuf Racing League? F*ck. Pick: NY Giants

Joe: Wouldn't Manning Bowl be more compelling if there were some actual familial consequences? The losing QB can't come home for Christmas? Or gets visibly shunned by the parents. Let's shake this every-four-years "event" up, NBC. Pick: Indianapolis

New Orleans at San Francisco

Aaron: In the days after his team's loss to Seattle last week, 49ers coach Mike Singletary publically thanked the Seahawks for winning the game. Later, he gave separate press conferences where he feuded with his own starting quarterback and gave a paranoid rant about "rats" in his locker room and the uselessness of new media. How is this guy NOT running the Raiders? Pick: New Orleans

Joe: Look, if Spike Lee, MTV's The Real World, and the entire Kardashian family couldn't ruin the Saints, I don't think this Super Bowl Hangover idea stands much of a chance. Pick: New Orleans


Yvonne said...

"The Joe and Aaron Show" is my favorite read on the lightly read blog! Love you guys!

And I'm with you, Aaron: our Raiders have to come through tomorrow. You and Jalen are welcome to come watch over at Stately Mexican Guy Manor!

Aaron C. said...

Awww...thanks, Mrs. That Mexican Guy. I'll even ignore the fact that you gave Joe top billing over me.

J's got a Little League game tomorrow at 1PM, unfortunately, so we're going to have to rain check on the Raiders game. Let me know what I can bring. Sporks? Napkins?

Joe Reid said...

I can't recall the last time I was this happy to drop a game in the football picks. Pats fans have to swallow Sanchez out-performing Brady AND a clutch game from LT? Bliss.

that mexican guy said...

Just to piggyback on Joe's point, I love how Bill Simmons wrote all those worse about NOT overreacting to week one losses (Indianapolis) but didn't think to apply the same logic to the week one winners. Great call, Cam.

Also: just an ugly, ugly win for our Raiders. When a 1/2 full stadium is chanting FOR Bruce Gradkowski at halftime (without any awareness of the irony), it doesn't bode well for our beleaguered franchise.

Aaron C. said...

Speaking of Simmons, how soon before he makes the "Jason Campbell looks more uncomfortable in public than Red when he was released from prison in 'Shawshank Redemption'" line?

Joe Reid said...

As soon as he search/replaces Joey Harrington's name out of an old 2006 column.