TBG Eats: Burger King® Onion Rings Flavored Snacks AND Ketchup & Fries Flavored Snacks

Current Weight: 169.8 lbs.

With the buttery imitation-maple deliciousness of BK's French Toast snacks still tickling my tongue, I set off on one of my patented scavenger hunts of gluttony last weekend in an attempt to find ALL the junk food flavors under the Burger King brand name.

The good people at my local Rite-Aid had both the Onion Rings and the Ketchup & Fries flavors available (in $2.19 large bags, only) so, of course, I bought both. And, when my heart explodes at 40, I'll have no regrets.

My first thought while admiring the BK "Onion Rings" were Frito-Lay's Funyuns – one of the few members of the junk food family that I don't especially like. Funyuns' gritty texture and "doesn't taste like any goddamn onion I've ever eaten" faux flavor simply don't do it for me.

Thankfully, I was able to set aside my preconceived ersatz onion ring prejudice. BK's Onion Ring Flavored Snacks are thick and crisp with a WAY more authentic onion taste than Funyuns and a light, creamy finish. Admittedly, I don't have the most sophisticated palate in the blogosphere, but it sure tasted like BK's attempt to recreate the flavor of their glorious onion ring dipping sauce.

On the other hand, the Ketchup & Fries Flavored Snacks were up against a much higher standard. Y'see, in America's never-ending quest to compete with Canada on health care, hockey relevance and the Hart Foundation, Lady Liberty had lost her way. As readers of this lightly-read blog now know, it's Lay's Ketchup Chips that turned Canada into a world power to be reckoned with.

BK's Ketchup & Fries are textured like strips of Pringles with a dusting of mild ketchup flavors. These weren't bad, but they lacked the tanginess of the Lay's version which left my fingers a ruby red mess. A friend of mine made the obvious comparison between American vs. Canadian potato chip ketchup flavoring and American vs. Canadian beer alcohol content. I am now stealing that quip for my own unfunny purposes.

Grade (BK Onion Rings): 4 (out of 5) Calories: 110, Fat: 6g (per 1 oz. serving)

Grade (BK Ketchup & Fries): 3 (out of 5) Calories: 150, Fat: 8g (per 1 oz. serving)