This One's for You, Hazel…

My grandmother, Hazel Cameron, died on December 15, 2001.

She was a bombastic old battle axe who proudly wore her Democratic political affiliation on her sleeve. She was also a wife for 51 years and a white woman who raised two biracial daughters in the 1950s and 1960s. When she passed, it was the first time I'd seen or heard my grandfather cry.

Tonight makes two.

When Barack Obama was announced as the winner in Virginia – pushing him over 220 electoral votes – Mrs. Bootleg and I exchanged simultaneous, identical fist pumps. The West Coast polls were mere moments from closing and California (you, too, Oregon and Washington!) was guaranteed to put him over the top.

Considering I attended community college for awhile AND worked in the defense contracting industry before 9/11, I can honestly say that today was the least productive day of my life. All I could think about was Hazel and how this election would've shared her personal stage of great moments with the birth of her grandson, Jalen, which she missed by a little over two years.

So, of course, I cried, too.

I called my mom at 8:00 PM. She'd been politically apathetic for as long as I can remember, but she submitted her absentee ballot before mine. She was speechless. She shared my hope that Obama would win, but also my doubt that America would vote for him.

A few minutes later, I called my grandfather. 82-years-old. Born in 1920s Alabama. Before you knew it, we were sobbing harder than the cast of Good Times when the James Evans character got killed off. African-Americans were essentially sub-humans in this country 82 years ago and tonight I'm having a conversation with my grandfather that I thought we'd never have.

Still, I'm not naïve.

The political maneuvers during this presidential campaign were often despicable as some of the fringe lunatic factions from the right made desperate attempts to paint Obama as, basically, "the scary Black Muslim guy". Meanwhile, I was very disappointed in Obama's reluctance to talk about race – beyond his famous damage-control speech early in the spring.

Obama's election doesn't silence the ignorance of the extreme kooks out in places like rural Ohio, rural Missouri or all of West Virginia. It also shouldn't be played down so as not to offend the majority demographic of this country that's held the highest office in the land since America's birth.

In the last month, both sides have pulled every hypothetical boogeyman from under the bed and tried to scare America out of voting for the other guy. The reality is that these are the most uncertain times my country has faced during my adult life. No one – not McCain, not Obama – knows what challenges we'll face in the four years ahead.

So, I voted for the guy who I'd rather ride into tomorrow with.

TBG Drinks: Budweiser's American Ale

ABV: 5.10%

Two weeks ago, I took my car in to have slow leaks in two of the tires looked at.

When I went to pick it up, I was told that only one of the tires was leaking air. This sounded odd, considering I'd been filling up both tires with air at least once a week for a month. But, it was Friday afternoon, Mrs. Bootleg and the boy were out of the house and happy hour awaited.

Last Thursday, I found my car in the parking structure of the unnamed defense contractor with a flat front tire. As is usually the case with me, even when I'm right it's only because something went wrong.

Anyways, that evening's dinner plans with the family went out the window in the five minutes it took to change my flat…and the 55 minutes it took AAA to send someone out to change it. Instead, I pulled into a new local take-out place. While waiting on my pizza and ribs (together at last!) I bought a $3.00 bottle of Budweiser's new American Ale.

Over the last 15 years, I've swallowed most of the ridiculous Bud derivatives. In college, Bud Ice and Bud Dry were huge with the Solo cup set and today, if I have to choose one cheap beer-flavored beverage to enjoy at all the random kids' birthdays/barbecues, it'll be Bud Light.

Stately Bootleg Manor exclusively stocks Fat Tire – which most beer snobs just barely tolerate – so I was stunned at my first sip of American Ale. There's a lot of Fat Tire in there. American Ale has a prickly little hoppy taste that goes down smooth with a bit of a bitter finish. It's maltier than I thought it would be – but, not the least bit heavy – and could casually be described as eminently poundable.

In a casual search of "American Ale review" listings, I found several aficionados who broke down the beverage as if they were reverse engineering the atom. Here's all you need to know, dear reader: American Ale is a good little beer.

Grade: 3 (out of 5)

TBG's Election Guide: Proposition Lightning Round

Proposition 6 – Places additional penalties on gang-related and drug crime. Takes monies from California General Fund (previously earmarked for schools, health services, housing and the environment) to pay for new and existing criminal justice programs.

TBG Votes: No. Poorly written and ill-conceived, this is one of those "tough on crime" mandates that supporters hope won't be read past the first sentence or two.

Proposition 7 – Would require California utilities to procure half of their power from renewable resources by 2025. It will also require California utilities to increase their purchase of electricity generated from renewable resources by 2% annually to meet Renewable Portfolio Standard (RPS) requirements of 40% in 2020 and 50% in 2025.

TBG Votes: No. Most independent studies have shown that a short-to-moderate term increase in current annual household energy costs if this passes. Mrs. Bootleg only works part time, people.

Proposition 9 – Would alter laws governing victim's rights in California and amend the California Constitution to add new provisions regarding victims of crimes.

TBG Votes: No. Administratively redundant with many state laws already on the books.

Proposition 10 – Would provide rebates to Californians who purchase vehicles powered by fuel sources other than regular gasoline, as well as a rebate for those who buy fuel-saving vehicles. The state government would pay for the rebates, up to a total of $5 billion. Also provides for funding/grant research on alternative fuels.

TBG Votes: No. Huge conflict-of-interest here as the primary backer of this initiative (T. Boone Pickens' Clean Energy Fuels, Corp.) stands to make the most off it. I'm not down with funneling California dollars to help anyone from Oklahoma. They know why.

Proposition 11 – Changes the authority for establishing the district boundaries of the California State Assembly, California State Senate, and Board of Equalization from elected representatives to a 14-member commission.

TBG Votes: No. The committee will be formed of five Republicans, five Democrats and four from neither party. I wouldn't trust that make-up to pick an appetizer to share at Chili's, much less to slice and dice districts. BTW, Chili's Southwestern Egg Rolls = crazy underrated.

Proposition 12 – Authorizes issuance of $900 million in bonds to create a fund that assist veterans who are purchasing farms, homes and mobile home properties.

TBG Votes: No. Nearly one billion dollars to throw down the California housing sinkhole at a time when our state's economics look like sh*t? Replace "veterans" with any other needy group and it's rationalized away by everyone.

TBG's 2008 NFL Pickin' - Week #9

Last Week:
Aaron: 9-5 (0-1 vs. the spread)
Joe: 12-2 (0-1)
Tom: 8-6 (0-1)

Season to Date:
Joe: 76-40 (4-4 vs. the spread)
Aaron: 73-43 (4-4)
Office Secretaries who Pick Based on the Better Uniform: 60-56
Tom: 59-57 (4-4)

N.Y. Jets at Buffalo
Aaron: It's telling – to me, anyway – that even Brett Favre's staunchest supporters (SI's Peter King, the ESPN family of networks) seem a little less sure of his lily-white façade. I'm expecting Evil Brett to have a nice little midseason run of malevolence. Pick: NY Jets

Joe: Yes, America, that was one truly bad game by the Bills last week awful. Sloppy and loose and miserable. No other team in the league has had any games like that this year. The season is over. Pick: Buffalo

Detroit at Chicago
Aaron: Thanks, schedule makers. I needed to conserve on keystrokes this week. Pick: Chicago

Joe: Is anybody else a lil' bit concerned that the celebratedly sieve-like defense of the Lions has only given up 25, 28, and 12 points in the last three weeks? How am I supposed to plan my fantasy starters around THAT? Pick: Chicago

Jacksonville at Cincinnati
Aaron: The Bengals have the look of a team that stopped caring six weeks ago. As such, I'm not picking 'em the rest of the way. I'll trade the seven times I'll be right, for the one time I'll be wrong. Pick: Jacksonville

Joe: Yeah, that team that looked frisky against the Giants, Cowboys, and Jets doesn't seem to be there anymore. Take a long, hard look Future No. 1 Draft Pick Whose Name I Don't Know Because I Haven't Been Paying a Ton of Attention to College Ball This Season! Pick: Jacksonville

Baltimore at Cleveland
Aaron: After a couple of impressive showings, I'm forced to pick the Browns until their next random bed-wetting. I'm sure they'll save it for one of their eight remaining Thursday/Sunday/Monday night prime-time games. Pick: Cleveland

Joe: The thing with Baltimore, I think, is that they suck except for when they don't. My guess is the Browns will keep trading wins for losses until the end of the season, when Brady Quinn will get his first NFL start, play like it's his first NFL start, and be summarily dismissed as a bust immediately. Pick: Baltimore

Tampa Bay at Kansas City
Aaron: The Bucs haven't played too well on the road against beatable opponents, while the Chiefs aren't nearly as bad as they looked earlier this season. F*ck, I just talked myself into it. Wait, just found out Larry Johnson's been suspended. Pick: Tampa Bay

Joe: While, yes, the Bucs do tend to play up (or in this case down) to the level of their opponents, they should feel the appropriate urgency to win this one, given how good Carolina is playing in their division. Pick: Tampa Bay

Houston at Minnesota
Aaron: It's not every day that an inter-conference match-up is as uninteresting as its baseball inter-league cousin, but there ya go. Pick: Minnesota

Joe: It seems like for the last three years, every time I pick against Minnesota, they win. Sorry, Houston. Pick: Houston

Arizona at St. Louis
Aaron: OK, any pre-game mouth that opens discussion of this game with "The Cardinals make their return to St. Louis…" 20 years after they left for Phoenix, should be shot. Shannon Sharpe, Michael Strahan, your move. Please. Pick: Arizona

Joe: Not gonna be much defense in this one. In the end, Warner has more weapons at his disposal. But make no mistake, I -- and my Boldin, Breaston, Avery-laden fantasy team -- want touchdowns and plenty of 'em. Pick: Arizona

Green Bay at Tennessee
Aaron: Enough with the "…there are no great teams in the NFL, except maybe Tennessee…" talk, media. Even that back-handed praise is too much. The Titans are not great. They're just not. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: And my picking them here is purely an attempt to jinx them. Pick: Tennessee

Miami at Denver
Aaron: I'm down to Jay Cutler in my money league, thanks to bye weeks and injuries. Combine that with a Broncos defense that's been a sieve all season… Pick: Miami

Joe: I don't know about Miami on the road. And while that Denver defense is garbage, the offense is strong. Pick: Denver

Dallas at N.Y. Giants
Aaron: The next time Giants fans are blowing up call-in radio shows and bitching about PSAs and good hygiene, I hope they thank the football karmic gods for clearing their team's path of healthy and/or good opposition all year. Pick: NY Giants

Joe: Yeah! Stupid lucky Super Bowl champions who keep winning games. Pick: NY Giants

Atlanta at Oakland
Aaron: Let's see…root for my Raiders to pick up a meaningless win in a forgettable season or root for Falcons RB Michael Turner to score some meaningful points for my fantasy team. This is hard! Pick: Atlanta

Joe: This is a good Atlanta team who will be a threat in the playoffs ... next season. Pick: Atlanta

Philadelphia at Seattle
Aaron: Unrelated to this game, but how is 25 years considered "suffering" for Philly sports fans? Did I miss a parade in Cleveland since 1983? 1973? Pick: Philadelphia

Joe: For as bad as this Seahawks team is, if they had Hasselbeck healthy, they'd be a threat to go 8-8 and win the division. I almost want to pick them here. Pick: Philadelphia

New England at Indianapolis
Aaron: Last Monday night's game against the Titans was the last shovel of dirt on the Colts' remarkable run. But, wait! There's Peyton Manning's right arm popping out of the grave, all dramatic and sh*t! Pick: Indianapolis

Joe: Yeah, not so fast there, gravediggers. Matt Cassel is no Kerry Collins, I can tell you that. Pick: Indianapolis

Pittsburgh at Washington
Aaron: If there were just ONE weeknight primetime match-up for me to pick wrong in the next few days, let it be this one. Pick: Pittsburgh

Joe: Isn't this that superstitious game where if the Redskins win then the Democrat wins the election, and if they lose, they might not make the playoffs? Pick: Washington

The Sure-Thing Suicide Spread:

Aaron: Dallas (+9) at N.Y. Giants

Joe: Tampa Bay at Kansas City (+9)

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

It's here! It's here! It's here! It's here! It's here!

In California!

Only Five More Days of This Crap!

Those of us here in California have had to suffer through an especially annoying array of commercials this election season. And, like any good little liberal-socialist elite, I'm all about sharing.

First is a "No on Proposition 4" spot that would be terrifying if I had a daughter. But, since I don't, it's just really corny:




Here's a "Yes on Proposition 2" commercial that strikes a sympathy chord. Check out how it mixes in a (socially) inedible animal with the caged, decrepit conditions of animals we can eat. I hate dogs:




Next up is the scary gay marriage initiative! They'll teach our kids that boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls! These lessons will apparently occur during gay nap time, lesbian recess and wherever else space can be found within the intense K-through-6 curriculum:




Finally, Senator Dianne Feinstein speaks out against Proposition 8. I can't help but notice that she appears to be an amalgam of all four Golden Girls at this point:

TBG's Election Guide: Proposition 8

I'm voting no on Proposition 8 – the California ballot initiative that would reverse the State Supreme Court's ruling recognizing gay marriage.

I'm voting no because of my family. In a few years, my aunt will turn 60, yet those six decades may as well have been six lifetimes in terms of societal leprosy. She was biracial before it was cool and before Mariah Carey, Beyonce Knowles, Derek Jeter and Tiger Woods could pick n' choose which race to represent. She was an athlete at a time when any female sporting accomplishment was marginalized and Peggy Fleming was pushed as an "All-American" role model. She's also a lesbian.

I'm voting no because my aunt was a sh*tty babysitter. When my twin brother and I stayed overnight, she'd feed us cake and ice cream for breakfast. When we were seven-years-old, she took us to see Conan the Barbarian. My mom would get mad, swear she'd never leave us with her again, then drop us off a month later acting as if my aunt hadn't given my brother her prescription cough syrup for his sniffles. He was "clinically dead" for 45 minutes! Good times.

I'm voting no because my aunt was never less than herself. While I was 11 or 12 when my mom awkwardly told me what a "lesbian" was and why my aunt never wore skirts or make-up (seriously, THAT was her pitch), I still felt like I was ahead of the curve. I couldn't have been older than kindergarten age, yet I remember my aunt's first serious girlfriend. There are dozens of old pictures – cracked and blurred with time – at my mom's house from birthday parties and holiday dinners, most featuring family, but some with couples from my aunt's circle of friends. Faces that were as much a part of my aunt's family as we were.

I'm voting no because my aunt's 2003 commitment ceremony was one of the most bat-sh*t insane spectacles of all time. Biracial (half white/half-African-American) woman ties the knot with another biracial (half white/half-Hispanic) woman, then buys out a dive bar for the evening reception in one of the most buttoned-up communities in Los Angeles County? I smell sitcom!

I'm voting no because of my co-workers. There was Mike at my first job in college. He mocked my increasingly dated high-top fade, I mocked his entire wardrobe by Bugle Boy. I still regret that we fell out of touch when I moved to San Diego and that I didn't throw a bony fist in the face of those who'd belatedly – and profanely – out him to me. Then again, I guess I'm hypocrite to some degree. A few years later, I worked with Kenny, who proudly outed (and dated) Chad Allen two years before Allen came out himself.

I'm voting no because of Jim. Nicest guy you'll ever meet. Mrs. Bootleg and I ran into him at the San Diego Zoo one Sunday. I introduced my co-worker to my wife and when it seemed obvious that he wasn't going to introduce his partner as his partner, I did it for him.

I'm voting no because of my friends. There's that one guy who inspired me to start this blog and that one girl who confided in me, but has chosen not to come out yet. There's that longtime reader who once respectfully chastised me for something stupid I wrote and another reader – and infrequent poster – who'll be out in California next year to get married.

I'm voting no on Proposition 8.