Thursday, September 20, 2012

2012 NFL Pickery -- Week #3

Last Week

Joe : 8-8
Aaron: 8-8

Current Standings

Joe: 20-12
Aaron: 16-16 

NY Giants at Carolina

Aaron: I don't watch enough Giants games to know if last weekend's come-from-behind win in Tampa Bay is the first ever one-game/in-game consolidation of "Elite" Eli Manning and his occasionally error-prone split personality. I'm also not sure how the Giants will respond on a short week while still nursing some injuries on offense. I do know I'm 0-2 on midweek predictions, though. Pick: Carolina 

Joe: Hakeem Nicks isn't playing for the Giants, and they reeeeally looked like they should have lost that Tampa game last week. All of these things, plus the home-field-on-a-short-week thing should add up to a Panthers upset. Oh, but what about the transitive property??? New York beat Tampa Bay; Tampa Bay beat Carolina; therefore New York beats Carolina! When does that EVER not work in the NFL?? (Or maybe it's just that the Thursday games are more fun when we pick different teams.) Pick: NY Giants

St. Louis at Chicago
Aaron: Look...I know that Bears QB Jay Cutler the perfect punching bag for a litany of reasons.  But, the "same ol' Cutler" celebrations that broke out across the interwebs during last week's loss to Green Bay is shortsighted even by online standards.  Does his pouty sourpuss really outweigh the NFC Championship game and 7-4 record-before-he-got-hurt-last-year on his resume?  Pick: Chicago

Joe:  You'll have to bear with me, as I'm nursing injuries from being trampled by the stampede of fantasy owners to pick up St. Louis's Danny Amendola. I lost out, so I'll have to console myself with him going 4-37 this week. I like the Rams, actually. But they're still figuring some stuff out, and I think the Bears in Chicago on three extra days' rest will be okay. Pick: Chicago

Buffalo at Cleveland
Aaron: Let's go ahead and set the over/under for the number of national sports columnists who'll use this game as the foundation for a 1,200-word piece on the disappearance of sepia-toned, old-timey Pleasantville America at 2.5.  5.5 if either team plays the Lions later this season.  Pick: Buffalo

Joe: Ugh. I hate road games against teams you *should* beat. I couldn't be happier with what we've seen out of CJ Spiller, but thus far he's the ONLY thing happening on the Bills' offense, and I worry what'll happen when teams figure that out. Pick: Cleveland


Tampa Bay at Dallas


Aaron: Forget the season-opening win against the Giants and last week's loss to the Seahawks. THIS will be the game that tells us what kind of team the Cowboys are.  An eminently beatable opponent at home?  The champion of the NFC East will need to feast on the league's entrails in order to reach the nine wins needed to conquer this division.  Pick: Dallas

Joe: Tampa's been unexpectedly tough thus far, and they should've beaten the Giants last week. But the Cowboys will probably do this win one/lose one/win one thing all season. Pick: Dallas

NY Jets at Miami


Aaron: Dolphins RB Reggie Bush won't benefit from the Raiders benevolent run defense this week.  But, while the Jets are undeniably the better team, I think this one ends up a lot closer when it goes final.  Jets QB Mark Sanchez has been accused of everything else in his tenure, so is there any chance we can get "plays down to the level of his competition" in the mix for next Monday's ESPN First Take?  Pick: NY Jets

Joe: It's weird, the Jets looked SO good in the first quarter against the Steelers and then seemed to just ... stop. Three more quarters this time, guys! Pick: NY Jets


San Francisco at Minnesota
Aaron: I've been indifferent towards the 49ers since Deion Sanders' lone season in San Francisco nearly 20 (!) years ago.  I kinda doubt this season will end with a glorious shellacking of the San Diego Chargers in the Super Bowl, but a few more weeks at this level and I could be talked into the Niners shellacking someone come February.  Pick: San Francisco


Joe: From the way Cris Collinsworth was talking during last week's handling of the Lions, the Niners already HAVE shellacked someone in the Super Bowl come February. I wasn't expecting such prolific butt-kissing from a guy whose career pinnacle was losing to those same 49ers in the Super Bowl. Pick: San Francisco

Kansas City at New Orleans


Aaron: Incompetent Chiefs head coach Romeo Crennel went 24-40 while leading the Browns from 2005-08.  He went 2-1 as interim head coach of the Chiefs last year and was rewarded with a three-year contract.  If this isn't discussed during one of next month's presidential debates, I will be very disappointed in you, America.  Pick: New Orleans


Joe: The Bills offense put 35 on the Chiefs last week. Don't embarrass yourself and fall short of that, Drew Brees! Pick: New Orleans

Cincinnati at Washington


Aaron: I'm old enough to remember when the Redskins had one of the largest national followings in all of sports back in the early 1980s.  I dunno if Robert Griffin III will ever approach the organic popularity of Theismann, Riggins, the "Smurfs" and the "Hogs", but I'm a sucker for the electricity that a player like Griffin can inject into a devoted fanbase.  It's finna be loud, Bengals.  Pick: Washington


Joe: Does it have to be the Redskins fans who get to be so injected? They're just so insufferable when they're winning, and for a team that hasn't won much lately, you'd think they'd be out of practice. Slow down, dudes, you're 1-1. Pick: Washington

Detroit at Tennessee


Aaron: Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I'm not ready to place Lions QB Matt Stafford alongside Ben Roethlisberger in the pantheon of great swollen-faced signal-callers just yet.  The 49ers look like a VERY good team, but it also appeared that the Lions offense turned off the urgency and took several plays off in the second half of their loss last week.  The Titans are a VERY bad team, so...  Pick: Detroit


Joe: You think you're in the minority? After these last two weeks of Stafford incompetence. JUST THROW SOME STUPID TOUCHDOWNS, YOU ASS! Pick: Tennessee

Jacksonville at Indianapolis


Aaron: The Jags and Colts both put up 23 points against the Vikings this season while allowing 26 and 20 to Minnesota, respectively.  So...what's it all mean?  It means another week of limited regional TV coverage for all teams involved and that I won't learn the final score until I'm doing my picks for next week.  Pick:Indianapolis


Joe: Andrew Luck, people! This is happening! Pick: Indianapolis

Philadelphia at Arizona


Aaron: Like the rest of you, in lieu of any actual analysis on Cardinals games, I'm looking forward to several more weeks of pithy bitchiness directed towards Arizona WR Larry Fitzgerald and his deleterious impact on my fantasy football team's chances.  Pick: Arizona


Joe: 3-0 Arizona Cardinals? I don't think any of us are remotely ready for that. Pick: Philadelphia

Atlanta at San Diego


Aaron: Chargers fans here in San Diego don't wanna hear none of your triflin' mess about how their football team hasn't defeated a team with a win yet.  They're 2-0, so shut your stupid face, HATER!  And, you just can't argue with insight like that, yo.  Pick: Atlanta


Joe: "Hasn't defeated a team with a win yet"? In week 3? That is adorable. First team to learn what a running game is wins. Pick: San Diego

Houston at Denver


Aaron: Safe to say Peyton Manning's right arm is the quickest "dead, resurrected, dead again" storyline in more than 25 years.  The record is still held by the "Dark Awakening" episode of the Generation One Transformers cartoon when Optimus Prime is brought back to life.  OR WAS HE?  No. He dies again in the end. I just told you.  Pick: Houston
Joe: Houston's fed on the league's worst teams to start the season, but Miami has a win so I guess that makes them legit! (Sorry, sorry, but ... man, I like this line of analysis!) Pick: Houston

Pittsburgh at Oakland

Aaron: No rhyme. No reason. I think Oakland wins a low-scoring, ugly affair full of field goals from the infield dirt, incomplete passes and five or six shots of fans fighting in the stands.  Pick: Oakland


Joe: Pittsburgh's kind of asking for it this season. I would LOVE to make this upset pick too, but I am just too much of a chicken. Pick: Pittsburgh

New England at Baltimore


Aaron: The argument for picking the Patriots seems to be "New England will NOT lose two in a row".  This kind of wishcasting conveniently sweeps last week's loss at home to an NFC West team that's not San Francisco under the rug.  That's a LOT of italics, I'm just saying.  Pick: Baltimore


Joe: Baltimore SHOULD have beaten New England in the AFC Championship game last year, and in this world, wrongs are ALWAYS righted. Pick: Baltimore

Green Bay at Seattle

Aaron: One of these weeks, the Packers are going to re-establish their dominance Oz-style.  And, God help whoever's on the receiving end of that shiv.  Pick: Green Bay


Joe: What's the over/under on how long it'll take everyone to figure out if Seattle is any good or not? Week 9? Week 13? Pick: Green Bay

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