Last Week
Joe: 12-4
Aaron: 8-8
Current Standings
Joe: 12-4
Aaron: 8-8
Aaron:
Last week, the Packers surprisingly lost at home to a team with an efficient
quarterback, strong running game and ferocious defense. It occurs to me that local beat writers may
want to save their copy of last Sunday's game and swap out the 49ers names with
their positional equivalents on the Bears.
Pick: Chicago
Joe: I think I'm gonna chalk up last
week's Packers sluggishness to Week 1 ... well, sluggishness. The Packers need
to solve their running game inefficiencies, like, immediately. It's a testament
to how far everybody bought into the "NFL Is a Passing League,
Dammit" philosophy that the Pack were named Super Bowl locks with a
completely empty backfield. Meanwhile, I'm not going to make a huge deal of me
being right about the Jay Cutler-Brandon Marshall thing. This week, they can
give it a try against a good defense. Pick: Green Bay
Kansas City at Buffalo
Aaron: Joe's heartbreaking real-time
tweets from the first quarter of his beloved Bills' season-opener ended with
"Aaaaand, there goes Fred Jackson's knee...". Not
Joe-mentioned: WR David Nelson's torn ACL or the Bills' AWOL defense against
the Jets. There's still plenty of season left for the Bills to rebuild Joe's
hopes before spectacularly dashing them, but they'd better start winning if
we're going to enjoy it. Pick: Kansas City
Joe: I mean, no, it was not fun
watching that game last week. But it wasn't like I didn't see it coming. It's
tough to figure out what the takeaway is, though: Fitz looked absolutely
brutal, but you could talk me into thinking he improved in the second half. The
defense was SHOCKINGLY porous and exhibited that classic Bills trait of not
being able to make a stop on 3rd down; but gosh, did CJ Spiller look good. I'd
be all over KC on the road, but at home ... I think I'm gonna cross my fingers
for a bounce-back game. Just don't make Matt Cassel look like Joe Montana,
guys. Pick: Buffalo
Oakland at Miami
Aaron: Well. I suppose there's some
honor in establishing a sports precedent when your team's emergency
long-snapper has become a national laughingstock. That obvious narrative obscures the real
story from Oakland's season-opening loss, which is: "Try throwing
the goddam ball DOWNFIELD, you stupid Raiders!" Pick:Miami
Joe: As someone who had Houston in his
knockout pool last week, Miami hung around uncomfortably long in the first half
last week. I could see them being an exceedingly tough out this season,
especially at home. But I think the Raiders bounce back here. After all,
they've got the all-important "Aaron Cameron Doesn't Believe In Us"
intangible. Pick: Oakland
Baltimore at Philadelphia
Aaron: Oh, those first week
narratives. If I pick the Ravens, I'd be buying into their impressive win
against Cincinnati last week AND the Eagles somnambulant effort against
Cleveland. If I pick the Eagles, I'm
ignoring all of the above. Let's go with
the one that's less effort for me. Pick:
Philadelphia
Joe: Yeah, safe to say I wasn't
expecting either of those narratives to emerge so dominantly. Week 2 is
notoriously frustrating for this kind of thing -- was Week 1 an aberration or a
trend? And since I am not in any way equipped to tell, I'm just gonna pick the
opposite of Cam. Pick: Baltimore
Tampa Bay at NY Giants
Aaron: Wondering if two Super Bowl
wins worth of collateral bought the Giants some slack
locally after an Opening Night loss to the hated Cowboys. Me thinks the Bucs will make it all
better. Pick: NY
Giants
Joe: The Giants running game looked
seriously problematic last week, and the countdown is on
before Victor Cruz's butterfingers become An Issue, but yeah, at home against
the Bucs, they should be able to pull it out. Pick: NY
Giants
Arizona at New England
Aaron: Unless Cardinals' WR Larry
Fitzgerald and his gargantuan wingspan is assigned to cover either of the
Patriots' tyrannosaurus tight ends, it would seem Arizona's defense is
ill-equipped for this encounter. This
will give us all more time to cover the juxtaposition of Tom Brady's broken
nose and beautiful face FROM EVERY ANGLE.
Pick: New England
Joe: Did I have a high fever on
Sunday, or do I recall Kevin Kolb coming into the game late and "winning"
it for the Cardinals? There is nothing that behaves more out of character than
a QB coming off the bench. Pick: New England
Houston at Jacksonville
Aaron: I'd have to think NFL
Commissioner Roger Goodell would at least listen when and if
Jacksonville, Tennessee and Indianapolis decide to secede from the AFC
South. Pick: Houston
Joe: I still can't trust the idea of a
"dominant" Texans team, but if they keep playing these crappy teams
from Florida ... okay. Pick: Houston
New Orleans at Carolina
Aaron: The Saints' defense didn't show
up last week and it wasn't an aberration.
They'll have to win a good share of shootouts if they have any hope of
playing in January. And, how can the Arena
Football business model possibly fail?
Pick: New Orleans
Joe: I'd have been all over the upset
pick here if Carolina has shown even a little bit of life against Tampa last
week. Pick: New Orleans
Cleveland at Cincinnati
Aaron: I'm looking forward to
over-thinking Browns games in November as I attempt to predict the inevitable
upset that will be their first win of the season. Pick: Cincinnati
Joe: "The world's largest cubic
zirconia." "What an eyesore!" That one's for you, Battle of
Ohio. Pick: Cincinnati
Minnesota at Indianapolis
Aaron: Unless the Colts drafted
"an entire defense" with their next pick after Andrew Luck this past
April... Also, the impressive return of
Vikings RB Adrian Peterson from reconstructive knee surgery just eight months
ago is either a flashpoint in the evolution of 21st century sports medicine or
accidentally symbolic of the league's reckless, win-at-all-costs culture that
trades on a player's health for a few more wins. Pick: Minnesota
Joe: I hope somebody is telling Andrew
Luck to enjoy this season full of padding his stats and not bearing any
responsibility for his team's losses. It's rare and spectacular in this
"blame the QB" world of sports media. Pick:
Minnesota
Washington at St. Louis
Aaron: Redskins QB Robert Griffin III
isn't the most polished rookie passer, but his athleticism was breathtaking at
times in week one. I suppose no road
game is a gimmie for a kid QB, but...the Rams, you guys. Pick: Washington
Joe: The Rams looked feistier last
week and more like the team I thought could go 8-8 (and challenge for what I
thought would be another 9-7 NFC West championship, before I realized the
Niners could go 13-3) last year. God help me, though, the Redskins/Griffin look
for real. Pick: Washington
Dallas at Seattle
Aaron: Is it too early for a
"let-down game"? Probably, but
I think the Seahawks give the Cowboys for the first half or so. Unfortunately, Seattle's offensive line
issues combined with RB Marshawn Lynch's wonky back combined with the Cowboys
stout run defense...you know where I'm going with this. Pick: Dallas
Joe: Why was everybody so down on the
Cowboys anyway, is my question? I know it's fun to hate on Jerry's Boys, but I
think it fools us into thinking that "not great" equals
"terrible." They're still not great, but Seattle looked ROUGH against
a bad team last week. Pick: Dallas
NY Jets at Pittsburgh
Aaron: New York City's collective
crush on Jets QB Mark Sanchez ends here.
Well, for the week, anyway. Pick: Pittsburgh
Joe: Yeah, I can't imagine the
Steelers' defense is as generous as the Bills' was. BUT! I was kind of struck
by how much better/more confident Mark Sanchez looks when he's throwing to wide
receivers who don't hate him. It's that QB/WR chemistry thing again. Sorry,
Santonio Holmes, but Whatshisname and That Guy have supplanted your complaining
ass. Pick: NY Jets
Tennessee at San Diego
Aaron: Look, Chargers fans...if
you wanna take pride in a win over a rebuilding Raiders
team, have at it. But, one touchdown and three field-position-gifted field
goals aren't going to be enough to knock off any of the AFC's legitimate
playoff contenders...right, AFC?! Not so
fast, Tennessee. No one was talking to
you. Pick: San Diego
Joe: One blowout loss to the Patriots
isn't going to rob me of picking the Titans to be a sleeper this year. Chris
Johnson starting the season with another deeply troubling ground outing ...
that might. Pick: San Diego
Detroit at San Francisco
Aaron: Looks like the 49ers
might've been one of two teams that I grossly underrated
coming into this season. I'm still not
sure how QB Alex Smith was both accurate and efficient last week in Green Bay,
but here they're home and the Lions ain't the Packers. Pick: San Francisco
Joe: JESUS HOPPING CHRIST, MATTHEW
STAFFORD, GET IT TOGETHER. SIGNED, JOE'S TENUOUS FANTASY FOOTBALL PROSPECTS.
Pick: San Francisco
Denver at
Atlanta
Aaron: And, here's the
other team that might be better than I thought! Broncos QB Peyton Manning was nothing short
of surgical with his short-to-moderate passing approach last week. The Falcons have a few more weapons on
offense than the Steelers -- the Broncos' week one opponent -- but, Manning
looked great against a much better defense than what's in Atlanta. Pick: Denver
Joe:
But that Julio Jones, though ... what a guy. Pick:
Atlanta
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