Sunday, February 20, 2011

On Judaism, Baseball and Beer...

Jalen was out of school this past Friday, so I took him with me on a few AM errands. Including a stop at the post office...

Jalen: [To a post office employee] "There's no mail delivered on holidays, right?"

Post Office Employee: "That's right. There's no delivery on most holidays."

Jalen: "Holidays like Yom Kippur, right?"


On Saturday, Jalen and Mrs. Bootleg accompanied me to BevMo -- an alcohol warehouse of sorts with stores throughout California and Arizona...

Jalen: "Where are we going?"

Me: "I wanna stop by BevMo and see if they've got any new beers to buy."

Jalen: [After a perfectly-timed comedic beat] "Are baseball and beer the only two things you care about?"

Mrs. Bootleg: "..."


The scene shifts to the BevMo checkout line. Mrs. Bootleg was there and can attest that the following unprompted conversation actually happened...

Jalen: [To the cashier] "Do you like beer?"

Cashier: "Yes, I like beer."

Jalen: "What kind of beer do you like?"

Cashier: [Nervously, but politely laughing] "Ummm...Sam Adams?"

Jalen: "Daddy, do you like Sam Adams?"

Me: [Laughing, but feeling Mrs. Bootleg piercing glare from behind] "Yeah, J, I like Sam Adams."

Jalen: [To the cashier] "Do you like Fat Tire?"

Cashier: [Laughing] "It's OK."

Jalen: "Do you like Coors Light?"

Cashier: [Still laughing] "Oh, NO!"

Me: "OK, Jalen..."

Jalen: "Do you like Bud Light?"

Cashier: [Positively dying by this point] "Oh, NO! And, how do you know SO much about beer?"

Jalen: "My daddy drinks a lot."

Me and Mrs. Bootleg: [Heads explode.]


Dat Tire Nicka said...

considerably awesome

Lew B said...

awesome - but given the title, I kinda thought I might have been featured in there somewhere.

(Note to self - It's not all about you.)

that mexican guy said...

I'll echo Nicka's awesome.

I didn't really learn about Judaism until That Mexican, "emigrated" to America in my late teens. And even then it was mostly from TV.

Disappointed that you didn't respond to Jalen's "baseball and beer" question with "...and my blog, son. Don't forget that."

I'll pay cash-money to go to back to BevMo with you guys and have you recreate the checkout scene.

I imagine it won't be hard to get Mrs Bootleg back in character.

thai said...

"baseball, beer and sports entertainment, son."

SHough610 said...

The BevMo story is GOLD

CrazyCanuck said...

Why do I get the feeling that this will be one of Mrs. Bootleg's all-time favorite blog posts?

Aaron C. said...

@Canuck -- I'll need another day or two to gauge her opinion. She didn't laugh as heartily as I did at Jalen's assessment of daddy's functional alcoholism.

@Thai -- Yeah, she's not too pleased with THAT aspect of Jalen's favorite things, either. Next time we get together, I'll share some stories.

@Mex -- Went back to BevMo this afternoon and bought six more bottles of Highway 78 Scotch Ale. Same cashier as yesterday: "Where's your son?"

Elena said...

Your son? Is comedy gold.

Other Joe said...

I'll echo the "awesome" comments throughout the responses.

Your family needs their own reality show, Cam. I'd much rather watch your madcap adventures than any other reality shows.

Unless of course Mrs. Bootleg stars in the newest "Real Housewives of San Diego" spinoff

thai said...

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!? unpossible! electrifying isn't her thing?!?

Aaron C. said...

Ironically, she'd drop me for The Rock in a heartbeat.

Must be our shared mochaccino complexions.

Eugene Tierney said...

I'll be in that same boat in a few years. My 2 and 3 year old like to tell people they can't drink beer until they are 21. I'm going to video tape it and show them when they are in high school.

Aaron C. said...

The irony of my son's vast knowledge of beer is that he's terrified of it. If I leave a bottle on the dining room table, he won't go near it for fear of "touching something that only 21 year olds and up can touch".

I can't help but think I failed him here.

thai said...

he only has you beat with the pe'a tattoo. i say you get your own set of tribals and show her what's up.