Friday, November 12, 2010

2010 NFL Pickery -- Week #10

Last Week:

Aaron: 11-2
Joe: 10-3
Tom: 7-6


Joe: 90-40
Tom: 77-53
Aaron: 77-53

Baltimore at Atlanta (Thursday Night)

Joe: These are two teams with ill-timed losses that made everybody think they're not as good as they are. Baltimore nearly dropping one to the Bills at home couldn't have helped either, but that easy handling of Miami last week -- as well as Atlanta fending off a fierce division rival -- spoke well of both teams. We might just be looking at a matchup of eventual conference runners-up. Which ... means absolutely nothing. Pick: Baltimore

Aaron: Over the past 18-24 months, the general public has learned more about the deleterious effects of professional football on the NFL's rank and file than it ever wanted to know. Concussions, helmet-to-helmet hits, post-career physical and emotional ailments and shortened life spans. Consequently, shouldn't teams have more than three days between killing themselves for 60 minutes? (My opinion is subject to change when and if Time-Warner Cable ever starts carrying the NFL Network, so I can SEE these Thursday night games.) Pick: Atlanta

Minnesota at Chicago

Joe: I'm not going to bore everyone with stories of my knockout pool but -- Picture it! Minneapolis, 2010.
The most hated man in sports brings his team back from 14 points down with five minutes to play, notching what may well be the last big game of his infuriatingly long career and in the process saving the bacon of one worthy Vikings-picker in Manhattan. I could not be happier to not have to root for Brett Favre anymore. Pick: Minnesota (Damn it.)

Aaron: If this week's media reports are accurate, Brett Favre isn't even the most hated man in his own locker room. The anonymous hatchet job that Vikings head coach Brad Childress has endured is positively surreal. His players loathe him for sh*t-canning Decepticon saboteur Ravage
Randy Moss? Ohh-kay. At least Childress will always have his career in personal athlete management to fall back on. Pick: Minnesota

N.Y. Jets at Cleveland

Joe: Okay, NOW we can be concerned about the Jets. Particularly on the road against a Browns team that has now DEMOLISHED two playoff contenders in a row. They probably come back to earth this week, but it'd be pretty cool if they kept it up. Pick: NY Jets

Aaron: I'm with Joe here, but for a different reason.
Earlier in the week, Jets head coach Rex Ryan wore a mullet wig and some Browns gear in an impersonation of his brother Rob -- Cleveland's defensive coordinator -- during a session with the New York media. The same writers who found it refreshing and kissed ass laughed along, will use it to question the coach's focus and commitment if the Jets lose. C'mon, Browns! Pick: NY Jets

Carolina at Tampa Bay

Joe: The Battle of the Budget Spring Break Locales! Tampa may have lost last week, but they looked better hanging in there than they have in some of their wins. Meanwhile, the Panthers will be suiting up Rodney Peete at QB. Pick: Tampa Bay

Aaron: OK...a couple of picks from now, we take a look at the Cincinnati at Indianapolis game. I use the same "Rodney Peete"-style bit, but only because Joe picked the games first and I started at the bottom while working my way to the top of the page. I saw no reason to ask Joe to re-write his hacky gag, so we're leaving them both in. I thought you should know this. Pick: Tampa Bay

Tennessee at Miami

Joe: Oh sure, Bill Simmons, NOW you're looking into Chad Henne's eyes and finding him wanting. Too late, Bub, I was there last week. I suppose the big story this week is Randy Moss coming to the Titans, but given the way Ray Rice trod all over Miami last week, Chris Johnson may make Moss moot. Pick: Tennessee

Aaron: Just to recap -- Moss apologists insisted he'd derive motivation with the Patriots this season as he was playing for his next contract. In Minnesota, he'd be motivated to prove Bill Belichick and the Pats wrong. After crapping all over the "money" and "pride" carrots, why does anyone think he'll be any less cancerous in Tennessee? Not every story out of the Volunteer State ends as inexplicably successful as
Three-6 Mafia's, son. Pick: Tennessee

Cincinnati at Indianapolis

Joe: Make no mistake: Carson Palmer and TO will have a pretty good week against the Colts. But I'm not sure they're in a position to beat any of the playoff contenders. Especially with Indy coming off of a loss. Pick: Indianapolis

Aaron: I need an obscure Colts wide receiver from 20 years ago to make the obligatory "with all the injuries, who's left for Peyton Manning to throw to this week...[obscure Colts wide receiver from 20 years ago]?" joke. Clarence Verdin? Jessie Hester? Manning will be the best player on the field, but the next four or five spots belong to...the Bengals? Pick: Cincinnati

Detroit at Buffalo

Joe: Oh, Bills. I tried to warn you, America. Plucky, Harvard-educated QB or not, this isn't a team built for wins. And, Detroit is suddenly a team that gives good teams fits. What does that mean they'll do to bad teams? The fun continues! Pick: Detroit

Aaron: "And, Detroit is suddenly a team that gives good teams fits as long as the Lions are playing at home and NOT on the road where they've gone 0-4 this season." Fixed. Pick: Buffalo

Houston at Jacksonville

Joe: At 4-4, my inclination is to say don't count the Texans out. But looking at their schedule ahead (at NYJ, Philly, Tennessee; home vs. Baltimore and Tennessee) and their chronic inability to play defense, and it doesn't look good. Look for sports yahoos with national audiences to find a way to blame Matt Schaub despite the fact that I'm pretty sure he can't rush the passer. Pick: Houston

Aaron: I like Houston, too, but since (1) I'm trailing Joe by 100 wins and (2) Jaguars RB Maurice Jones-Drew -- who has a fantasy football column sidebar each week in Sports Illustrated -- has the balls to write an "I told you so" piece on the recent effectiveness of teammate David Garrard AND recommends the Jags QB as a good fantasy play this week...I mean, he would know, right? Right? Pick: Jacksonville

Kansas City at Denver

Joe: Road games within the division are always hell, but for the first time in forever, KC is clearly the better team in this matchup. Pick: Kansas City

Aaron: It'd be fun to imagine the Broncos' passing game merged with the Chiefs' running game. Of course, that's silly. Instead, let's imagine how good the Broncos might be with the Cleveland Browns' running game, since...well,
you know. (And, yes, as a Raiders fan, I hate these two teams. But, since they've each won a Super Bowl, I grudgingly respect them. Unlike, well... you know.) Pick: Kansas City

St. Louis at San Francisco

Joe: Does it feel to anyone else that the Niners stopped playing games about three weeks ago? And yet they've won two games somehow. If St. Louis wants to win the division, they're going to have to win a road game at some point. Pick: St. Louis

Aaron: It won't be here, Joe. If we've learned nothing else from aforementioned columnist Bill Simmons, it's that the 49ers will FEED off the ethereal weed smoke ju-ju that's still in the air after the San Francisco Giants won the World Series. The crowd's good vibes will help the Niners be
better at playing football. You'll see it in their eyes. You watch. Pick: San Francisco

Dallas at N.Y. Giants

Joe: Giants fans ... I'm thrilled for you this week. Pick: NY Giants

Aaron: Confidential to m'man Tom -- I laid $50 on the Giants last week, at 12-1 odds, to win the Super Bowl. I'll need a scapegoat to irrationally blame when/if their season ends early. Thanks. Pick: NY Giants

Seattle at Arizona

Joe: Two teams that are fighters at home and awful on the road, plus the bonus of Charlie Whitehurst (who has been summarily written off after one week as a starting QB -- welcome to the NFL in 2010!). Pick: Arizona

Aaron I read this week that the injuries to Seattle's decimated defensive line are "good news" for Cardinals starting QB Derek Anderson. You know what would be better news for Arizona? All together now: if Derek Anderson wasn't your starting QB. Pick: Seattle

New England at Pittsburgh

Joe: I'm not sure if the Patriots' roster of undersized white guys will either be easy pickings for the Steelers defense or a frustratingly effective workaround. I chose to be optimistic. Pick: Pittsburgh

Aaron: Since Ben Roethlisberger reemerged from the bathroom stall, his Steelers have gone 3-1. However, they've struggled in two games against legitimate playoff contenders (losing to the Saints and beating the Dolphins by one point with some shady officiating). The Patriots beat the Ravens (like the Steelers, a top-5 defense and middle of the road offense) earlier this season. Most importantly, can anyone remember the last time a Brady/Belichick team produced two stink-bomb losses in consecutive weeks? Pick: New England

Philadelphia at Washington

Joe: How many different narratives can be wrung out of one quarterback in a lifetime? Donovan, you might not make the NFL Hall of Fame, but if the Sportswriters Hall of Fame has any kind of loyalty, you're a shoo-in. Pick: Philadelphia

Aaron: And, we're only six months away from this lede, America: "Donovan McNabb, after a year of tension and turmoil in Washington, believes he's in the best shape of his life as the 34-year-old signal caller prepares for his first training camp with the Oakland Raiders." F*ck. Pick: Philadelphia


SHough610 said...

1) McNabb, for someone who seems like a decent guy, has always been surrounded by drama in a way that no other "no drama" guys seem to be. It's like he's a magnet for it.
2) I think he's much more likely to go to Minnesota next year.

Yvonne said...

Looks like Joe might be hearing footsteps!!!

Any chance we get an early read on your thoughts on the Raiders/Steelers next week?

(The Bootleg Family are welcome to watch over here at Stately Mexican Manor!!!)

Aaron C. said...

Heh. I think I benefitted from Joe completing his picks before me last week. Usually, I do mine, then send them to him. I picked up at least two wins, simply because he picked the other team in a pair of "toss up" games.

I doubt he'll be sweating unless his lead was shaved to 3 or so.

And, I don't know if I can take this Raiders team on the road against a legit defense. But, any spread greater than PIT(-3) would be free $$$ on Oakland to cover.