Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Where EVERY Month is Black History Month!

Since most of you are already familiar with my six-year-old son Jalen, let's just jump right in. As always, these are abbreviated recent transcripts of my actual conversations with him:

Jalen: "Did Jackie Robinson play in the [pronounced] 'NIGH-gro Leagues', Dad?"

Me: "It's pronounced 'NEE-gro', J. And, yes, he played in the Negro Leagues."


Jalen: "I don't like [a certain little boy from school]."

Me: "Why not?"

Jalen: "Because, he's from [a certain foreign country] and people from [a certain foreign country] smell bad."


Me: It's gonna be hot today, J. Be careful and drink lots of water if you're playing outside.

Jalen: Me and mommy don't have to be careful outside when it's hot because we're dark-skinned. YOU have to be careful because you're light-skinned, right?


Jalen: "Will you play baseball with me even when you're old?"

Me: "I'll play baseball with you as long as my body allows it."

Jalen: "Even when you're 60?"

Me: "If I can still go...sure."

Jalen: "Maybe you'll be like Grandma and have a young face and an old body."

Me: "..."

Jalen: "Was Grandma a slave?"

Me: [Head explodes.]


Michele "Michiewah" Toro said...

If you could only see how hard I'm laughing right now!

BTW: My maternal grandmother was a black Puerto Rican, and always tied her hair up in a kerchief. As a wee tot, I used to think she was Aunt Jemima.


that mexican guy said...

I'm torn. I wouldn't know how to react if Jalen's smelly little friend is from Mexico.

Can something be hurtful AND hilarious? I mean, this would qualify, right?

And can we get J his own YouTube channel already?

Mrs. Bootleg said...

OMG, I'm laughing so hard..I'm choking on my own spit!

Elena said...

I assumed the smelly boy was English.

acctg.sean said...

Did you inform Jalen that his smelly friend might just be from West Virginia?

I've still got family in WVa and I can say from experience that there exists something more toxic than race relations there.

Aaron C. said...

@Michiewah - I can't remember if it was Aunt Jemima or Mrs. Buttersworth, but Jalen also once compared his mom to one of these pancake icons.

@MEX - It wasn't Mexico. Although, you'll be proud to know that whenever J hears people speaking in a language other than English, he assumes it's Spanish.

@Mrs. Bootleg - Eww.

Smitty said...

That cooment about people smelling bad reminds me of a comment a certain caramel man made while visiting me at college

Aaron C. said...

And, both were tinged with a child-like innocence!

Lew B said...

J's comment about your light skin reminded me of an old Saturday Night Live Skit with Garrett Morris and Harry Belefonte (or someone like that). The lighter skinned fellow was trying to explain to GM that it was scientific fact that lighter skinned blacks were smarter than darker skinned blacks. if you could find that on You Tube, you might be able to use it as a weapon.

SHough610 said...

The first quote from Jalen about the nigh-gro leagues I read in Mr. Burns' voice.

The "was Grandma a slave" had me laughing AND reminded me of the time I told my grandpa he reminded me of Grandpa Simpson. They actually sort of had a similar voice and were both WWII veterans... And that's where the similarities ended.

Other Joe said...

Was Grandma a slave? WOW.

I agree, Jalen needs his own Youtube channel, or a show on Comedy Central.

Aaron C. said...

Aaand, right on cue, this morning Jalen just asked the proprietor of our Vietnamese dry cleaner if she was speaking Spanish. He even said it nice and loud for the other customers. Well done, J.