Monday, August 2, 2010

My Lewish Friend, Jew

As my son Jalen transitions from preschool/kindergarten to first grade, I'd be remiss if I didn't thank m'man Lew. He runs Jalen's former school along with his wife and may very well be the REAL most interesting man in the world.

He's been a stand-up comedian, a bartender, self-employed restaurant muscle and pretty much every stereotypical "finding my way" vocation under the sun. Now, he's getting into the
lightly-read blog business.

A sampling of his work suggests at a different life experience from me:

"One of the guys was known as “Mad Mike”. Mike was a bear of a man with a really long, red, ZZ Top style beard. He was a gentle giant, but boy did he like to party. Often times, cocaine was on the menu."


"The neighbor was standing there. If someone had handed me a gun, I would have been the first eight-year-old to commit suicide."


"Women, on the other hand, were the “gatherers” of our hunter-gatherer society. They see colors better than men because they had to determine the ripeness of wild fruits and vegetables."


"Plus, the bartender has a secret weapon that even the smoothest operator doesn’t have. At the end of the night he gets to take the pick of the leftovers who had their standards too high and didn’t hook-up with any of the bozos available."


"As the artist was drawing the outline for the tattoo, I was looking around his booth. There was a black & white photo of a person with a big hat and sunglasses just like I saw the night before in the Truman Capote special. So I said, “Hey, is that a picture of Truman Capote?”

I assumed bonding over a random, eclectic thing was soon to follow.

He looked over his shoulder at the picture in question and said, “No, that’s my wife.”