Wednesday, June 30, 2010

AiAA: Hardee's "Guys Don't Bake" Biscuit Commercial

Christmas 2008. That was the last time I commandeered the kitchen inside Stately Bootleg Manor for the purposes of baking. And, honestly, any recipe this easy should be cooked inside an age-appropriate appliance.

Earlier this week, my six-year-old son Jalen volunteered me to bake two Tollhouse pies for his school's annual summer sleepover next Friday. Jalen's generosity with my free time was mined for several minutes of comic fodder amongst the faculty when I dropped him off this morning. But, I know my way around a kitchen and Tollhouse pie doesn't exactly require the skilled hands one would need for preparing, say,

Flashback to Father's Day weekend. I'm watching the St. Louis feed of the A's v. Cardinals series, as this commercial aired several times during the Sunday afternoon game.

NASCAR trash talking? It seems like there'd be less material for mocking here than there is between rival fans from Ohio State/Michigan or New York/Boston, but whatever.

An African-American NASCAR fan? Uh, yeah…let's just move on, longtime readers. Let's just move on.

Why does everyone in the room seem so surprised when the biscuits are brought in? Are they suffering from four simultaneous sinus infections? Is that why these guys can't pick up the scent of biscuits baking, along with traditional Midwestern summer aromas like Anheuser-Busch, barbecues and Nelly videos?

And, the most unrealistic moment? There isn't a black man on earth who'd let antiquated gender roles get between him and a good-ass biscuit.

Guys DO bake, Hardee's. I'm genuinely offended at your stereotypical ad campaign.

Tell you what: All is forgiven if you start selling the Chicken Biscuit at your Carl's Jr. sister restaurants here on the west coast.



Joe said...

Saw this today and thought it was right up your alley. Time for a TBG Eats US Tour?

Aaron C. said...

Glorious. A 50-state tour of artery clog! You're first, Connecticut. That 2-foot hot dog would make a great opening match for me.

Also, I could visit Smo and the Nick'a Family!

Joe said...

I looked at the page more and some of the entries are just cop-outs. They say the worst thing you can eat in Florida is an empanada. Clearly they haven't been to McGuire's Irish Pub in the panhandle and had a Terrible Garbage Burger... so much meat and just about any topping you can imagine for the low price of $9.99.

Elena said...

1) I know I've re-acclimated to life in the U.S. when the Luther Burger stops making me shed tears for the future of our world and instead gives me a raging case of the glass fangs.

2) While I'm proud that Massachusetts gave the world the chocolate-chip cookie (it may even bump the Pixies back to our second-greatest achievement), I'm amazed that they couldn't come up with something worse. I mean, Dunkin' Donuts started here, for crying out loud. (And how the eff did New Hampshire end up with Clam Chowder when it's not particularly known for its fishing industry and MA is?)

3) Is it just me or does Michigan's BLT look like something out of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movies?