Thursday, July 10, 2008

More Out of Context Awesomeness


Since I'm in desperate need of a pick-me-up from the sport that keeps spittin' in my eye, I thought it was time to once again revisit my baseball predictions from the start of the season over at Tailgate Crashers. Back in May, I humbly highlighted a few of my can't-miss calls. Let's just assume that those calls are still spot-on. I'm pretty sure they are.

There's too much talent [on the Dodgers] for them not too contend, but there are just enough talentless malcontents for them not to win.

I've done it again. Los Angeles is currently tied for first in the NL West, but sit at a game under .500. This team is 13th in the NL in runs scored and next-to-last in slugging percentage, as established no-talents like OF Juan Pierre continue to get playing time and grit-licious gamers like 3B Blake DeWitt are lauded in the press despite an inability to hit a frickin' baseball. But, hey…only 18 more months of the Andruw Jones era!

But, Jeff Francis ain't winning 17 games again, Aaron Cook still doesn't miss enough bats and Manny Corpas is an average middle reliever in closer's clothing. Sorry, Rockies…back to anonymity with you and those horrible unis.

Francis is 3-7 with a 5.67 ERA, Cook has a K/9 rate of 4.4 (and, fine, an 11-6 record) while Corpas lost his job as closer during the season's first month and is now working middle relief. In all seriousness, predicting several backwards steps for a Rockies team that played (wait for it) a mile over their heads from Labor Day 2007 to the middle of October was the easiest call of the year. Hopefully, SS Troy Tulowitzki's ridiculous self-inflicted injury will quell all the talk about his heart and show why a 23-year-old should be leading no one.

I nabbed Texas Rangers OF Josh Hamilton in the 18th round of my [fantasy] draft last week, but don't be fooled. When you have your draft, you won't be able to find 12 owners as stupid as us. Hamilton has no business going that late, but he certainly…should light it up in hitter-friendly Arlington.

.354/.402/.683…those are the home numbers for everyone's favorite feel-good story – a guy who stole millions from the Tampa Bay Rays, blew most of it on drugs, tattoos and hookers, then found God and instantly got the benefit of the doubt from fans and media.

Another 3 for 3.

1 comment:

that mexican guy said...

Youre adorable when youre insufferable.