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As most of you know, I was recently railroaded into managing my seven eight-year-old son's Little League team this spring. Jalen will be playing in the "farm" division on the A's -- a magnificent confluence of random fluke AND our favorite Major League Baseball team! It's been three weeks since ten other children were essentially left at my doorstep. In that time, we've held three 90-minute practices and a two-hour scrimmage. Our first official game is on Valentine's Day* and these are my early experiences and observations:
* -- I've already made the "getting my wife a baseball diamond for Valentine's Day" joke 20 times over the past two days. Friends, co-workers, Mrs. Bootleg...they've all heard it. I regret nothing.
When in Oakland -- I'm taking my case to the readers of this lightly-read blog, because my wife and I can't seem to reach an agreement. Is it considered over-the-top to purchase white batting gloves with forest green trim for your baseball-loving child because that's what the players on his favorite team wear? And, where do you stand on the purchase of a matching green batting helmet? Just for grins, let's say it was affixed with a gold A's logo decal that was separately obtained off of eBay. Y'know...as worn by the players on his favorite team. That's not "over the top", is it? Of course, it's not. Could you guys let my wife know?
The Designated Hitter -- During my introductory phone calls to the parents of my players, I contacted a father who insisted his 10-year-old son was "too good" for the farm division. His son tried out for the next higher level, but wasn't drafted by a team so he dropped down to our division. I was less than thrilled when the league asked me to invite the child to one of my practices where he'd receive a second evaluation from the upper division. When he showed up, he was the biggest kid on the field...but, he couldn't throw or catch. Our practice hadn't even ended when the league's player agent confirmed I'd be keeping this kid on my team. It wasn't until our next practice -- a week later -- that I got to see him hit. Oh, my. Left-handed...all torque...all bulk. He was obliterating the ball. Jalen compared the kid's swing to this guy...and I couldn't disagree. Welcome, new player! I can teach him defense. Can't I?
Clinically Speaking -- Every Little League manager in our district is required to attend a 90-minute coaching clinic. As you might imagine, I took it in stride. It began at 9:00 AM and was held outdoors on a drizzly 48-degree morning. It was a lot like traffic school as the instructors taught us obvious lessons ("Be patient with your players.") in their most condescending tone ("Don't be afraid to take a knee and talk to the kids at their level.") One of the instructors had played college baseball at San Diego State under Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn. He mentioned this several times, each instance more forced than the last. Afterwards, another manager and I tried to estimate how many times a day our instructor mentions "his time in the cage, talking hitting with Coach Gwynn". We settled on 30 times/day from Sunday through Thursday and a bar/nightclub bump to 50 on Fridays and Saturdays. Don't say you weren't warned, women.
Now Pitching for the A's... -- Our team played a scrimmage against the Cardinals last Saturday. For most of the kids, it was their first chance to pitch from the mound in game conditions. Jalen was penciled in to pitch the third inning. Earlier in the week, I had a chance to discuss his impending pitching debut:
Me: "Are you excited about pitching on Saturday?"
Jalen: "Yeah. I think I'm gonna do this if I strike someone out."
Me: "Don't do that, J."
Jalen: "Why not? Brian Wilson does it."
Me: "He does it for his father. His dad passed away and it's a tribute to him."
Jalen: [Pause] "Do I know any dead people?"
Jalen took the mound with a 6-1 lead. He was clearly nervous and rushing through his pitching routine as if the ball were a live grenade. In his one inning of work, he gave up one hit, one walk, one strikeout and no runs. Another batter reached base on a poor throw from our shortstop, which caused Jalen to turn towards our dugout and squeakily shout from the mound, "That's not a hit! That's not a hit! That's an error!" At least he didn't do the Brian Wilson thing.
Well, THIS Might be Over-the-Top -- The Oakland A's are the only Major League Baseball team that wears white shoes. Oh, yes I did.
Last Week
Joe: 2-0 (2-0 vs. spread)
Aaron: 1-1 (2-0 vs. spread)
Overall
Joe: 7-3 (7-3 vs. spread)
Aaron: 6-4 (7-3 vs. spread) NY Giants v. New England (-2.5)
Joe: I don't trust myself one bit when it comes to predicting this game. I really like this Giants team. I really hate this Patriots team. I think the Giants are playing their best football of the season. I feel like the Pats lucked into a monstrously weak divisional opponent and got away with one against Baltimore. I think the Giants are the better team. And yet I am petrified to pick against the upset, probably for a whole bunch of stupid reasons like karmic payback for four years ago. But does karma REALLY owe the Patriots anything? Oh, certain proprietors of ESPN fiefdoms will tell you they've been positively star-crossed for years now. They haven't even won a Super Bowl this decade!! So, okay. I'm not making this pick about karma or hot streaks or Rob Gronkowski's ankle. I'm making this about Eli Manning and Victor Cruz carving up the New England secondary at will and the Giants pass rush getting to Tom Brady just enough. God help me. Pick: NY Giants 37, New England 28
Aaron: The Patriots' season-long inability to put opponents away nearly ended their season two weeks ago against the Ravens. Admittedly, it's been easy to fling around "fluke" invectives while pointing to missed field goals and touchdown-receptions-that-weren't, but let's not forget the Giants' similar favors from the football gods in their conference championship game. QB Eli Manning spent that game drenched in terror sweat and fleeing from a frightening 49ers defense that made stop after stop. For whatever reason, the Giants' win on a special teams turnover from the 49ers hasn't been as readily dismissed. In fact, for the past two weeks, I'd argue that the most respect given to the Patriots is their opening as three-point favorites. There's been a little too much "New York KNOWS how to beat New England" analysis and referencing of the Giants' successful Super Bowl approach from four years ago. So, instead, I'll rely on my own analysis from two weeks ago: if the Patriots are involved, the final score will likely be close...and Eli Manning's drive-to-drive, play-to-play productivity schizophrenia could swing that score either way. Gulp. Pick: New England 17, NY Giants 14
"Believe it or not, there was a time when I wanted nothing to do with coaching youth sports. The politics, the parents, the egos and the immaturity. But, after the game, Jack walked right up to me and said, 'Thanks for coaching me this year, I had a lot of fun!' I replied, 'You're welcome, Jack. I had a lot of fun coaching you.' To which, he responded, 'Don't tell the other coaches, but you were my favorite!'" -- That Bootleg Guy...June 3, 2011
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"I'm looking for one parent to come forward and be the manager of the team. This person would serve as my main point of contact for rosters, schedules, equipment, etc." -- E-mail from Director of Fall Little League...August 16, 2011
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"It was 95 degrees and from 12:00 PM until 1:30 PM; I'd been immersed in my first organized practice as manager of a Little League baseball team." -- TBG...September 1, 2011
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"Little League managers are supposed to be patient and paternal. They teach without screaming and paint everything with positivity. I gave it a go and I'm glad that I did." -- TBG...November 13, 2011
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Director of Fall League: "I hope you'll consider coming back to manage in the spring, Aaron. I watched a few of your games and you were great with the kids. They looked like they were having a lot of fun playing for you."
Me: "We'll see. I didn't volunteer when I signed Jalen up [for the spring season] last weekend. Managing is a much bigger commitment in the spring." -- November 18, 2011
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"Good afternoon. I am the Farm Division Head for our Board of Directors. Currently we have 5 teams confirmed for the Farm Division but only 4 Managers. ME AND THE KIDS NEED YOUR HELP!!! You are all copied on this email as you have indicated an interest in being an Assistant Coach. On Saturday a 5th Farm Division team will be drafted regardless if we have another Manager or Co-Managers confirmed. It would be a shame to have a team of 12 kids without a Manager." -- Mass e-mail...January 17, 2012
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"The Farm Division has secured its 5th Manager for the upcoming Spring season. All the best." -- Mass e-mail from (inhale) Farm Division Head for our Board of Directors...January 19, 2012
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"Hi, Aaron. I'm calling on behalf of the Farm Division where your son Jalen is scheduled to play this spring. As you know, the player draft is today. Actually, it's about an hour from now. I know it's extremely short notice, but I was wondering if you'd be interested in managing a team this spring. It turns out we're going to have six teams, not five. I need you to call me back right away." -- On my voice mail...January 21, 2012 (approximately 11:30 AM)
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"Hi, Aaron. I'm calling on behalf of the Farm Division and to congratulate you on being named manager for the upcoming season! I need you to call me back right away so I can provide you with your roster and practice schedule." – On my voice mail…January 21, 2012 (approximately 2:00 PM)
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Me: "So, how did I end up as a manager when I never actually volunteered?"
Farm Division Director: "Well, your name kept coming up when we had the opening earlier in the week and it was pretty much unanimous when we discussed you again today. Keep in mind, we had almost 30 other dads in the league who had coaching experience and we chose you. It's a pretty nice honor."
Me: "…"
Farm Division Director: "Are you still there?" – January 21, 2012 (approximately 2:30 PM)
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Farm Division Director: "For what's it worth, I think you've got a pretty good team. I had the first overall pick and chose the best player on the board for you. Unfortunately, the team that has first pick on players has the last pick on team name, so…"
Me: "So, what's our team name?"
Farm Division Director: "You're the A's. Nobody else wanted them." – January 21, 2012
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Farm Division Director: "Here's a copy of your team's practice schedule and the entire roster. Every team has 11 players. You'll want to start calling the parents to introduce yourself right away."
Me: [Looks at roster.] "This…isn't my roster."
Farm Division Director: "Are you sure? Oh, my bad. I'll get you the correct roster later today."
(Later that same day…)
Farm Division Director: "Here's the correct roster, Aaron."
Me: [Looks at roster.] "There are only 10 players on it. I thought every team had 11 players."
Farm Division Director: "Are you sure? Oh, wait…60 players…divided by six teams…that IS ten. My bad." -- January 22, 2012
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Me: "Hi, my name is Aaron Cameron and I'm calling to welcome your son to the A's team in the Farm Division! I'll be the manager of the…"
Child's Father: "Wait…did you say Farm? My son tried out for the next level up. He shouldn't be in Farm."
Me: "Oh. Well, to be honest, I wasn't part of the player evaluations. I was assigned a team just yesterday. But, I'll be glad to contact the league about…"
Child's Father: "Can you do it, like, now? My son shouldn't be on your team. He's too advanced for your level." – From the first player/parent phone call I made…January 22, 2012
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Me: [Reviewing 'Managers' Responsibilities' email.] "Hey, the manager gets to determine the uniform colors. I'm going with white pants, green jerseys, green undershirts, green belts and green socks."
Mrs. Bootleg: "That's too much green."
Me: "No, it's not. It's the same uniform that the real A's wear."
Mrs. Bootleg: "Why don't you go with yellow undershirts?"
Me: "The real A's don't wear yellow undershirts."
Mrs. Bootleg: "…" – January 23, 2012
Last Week
Joe: 2-2 (1-3 vs. spread)
Aaron: 3-1 (3-1 vs. spread)
Overall
Joe: 5-3 (5-3 vs. spread)
Aaron: 5-3 (5-3 vs. spread)
Baltimore at New England (-6.5)
Joe: Let's get it out of the way right now: the Ravens defense is not what it once was. New England's going to be able to score on them. But after all this talk of how pathetic the Ravens' offense looked against the Texans, it should be remembered that Houston's defense is waaaaaaay better than New England's. Look, real talk: I don't want the Patriots in the Super Bowl. I don't want two weeks of the media finding new ways to say the same old shit about Brady and Belichick, inventing brand new hero stories to tell about Wes Welker and Rob Gronkowski. So if the Ravens could just do me a solid and exploit that weak Pats defense, get Tom Brady to make a few mistakes, maybe knock Welker out of the game at some point, that would really be the best for me personally. I am, however, a pessimist. New England 27, Baltimore 23
Aaron: If the experts are to be believed, then the case for the Patriots is that Joe Flacco is the quarterback of Ravens. And, while I doubt this phenomenon merits a mention within anyone's contrived "gambling manifesto" (sponsored by hindsight!) I do think if your team's key to victory is the debatable competency of the other team's quarterback, then you're setting yourself up for some hubristic sh*t, son. The Patriots' shaky defense was their most frequently reported shortcoming, but there are other cracks within the sanctimonious bunker-that-Belichick-built. The Pats had trouble putting away opponents at times and a potentially close score plays into the Ravens' strength (defense) while negating their weakness (Flacco). And, after Welker got his bell rung in Pittsburgh in late October, the Pats' offense never really regained that over-the-middle passing approach. Have I talked myself into a Ravens' upset in which Flacco does just enough to win and Baltimore's defense makes a late stand? Yup. Baltimore 24, New England 21
NY Giants at San Francisco (-2)
Joe: I will gladly eat crow on underestimating the Giants (and/or overestimating the Packers) last week. That was an incredibly impressive display. And if their defense can shut down an offense as potent as Green Bay's, it's hard to imagine how the 49ers will score much at all. Meanwhile, the Niners deserve to be credited for going blow-for-blow with the Saints in that insane 4th quarter last week. But up until then, they'd been the recipient of some crazy luck and some uncharacteristically bad Drew Brees throws. Not that Eli Manning hasn't been known to lay an egg either, but at some point, he really did stop being the big choker all the Manning-haters wanted him to be. There's a danger I'm picking too much with my heart here, but ... NY Giants 31, San Francisco 20
Aaron: It's been more than 15 years since the 49ers were this relevant this late in January. As someone who vividly remembers their insufferable fanbase throughout the 1980s and early 1990s, I can't say I was rooting for it. Over the past week, the 49ers' win over the Saints has been indelibly stained with "clutch-y" clichés and the never-ending after-party for QB Alex Smith -- who unquestionably played the best game of his mediocre career. But, even as the Saints gifted and re-gifted the 49ers with a multitude of turnovers, the game was in doubt until the final few seconds. I like another close game this week due to the Giants' ferocious defensive front slowing down the 49ers offense and the likelihood that Eli Manning will have a few of his patented "bad Eli" drives. But, as the 49ers have proven in the playoffs, it's the last drive that matters. NY Giants 27, San Francisco 24
Beatríz writes:
I loved your post on the awful chicken and waffles. You mentioned how waffles have returned to your life since Mrs. Bootleg went on an overseas business trip. Wasn't that the same time period in which you invented "bourbon waffles"? I'm certain you tweeted about this, but did I miss the TBG post? I can't find it, if you did.
Also: while it probably doesn't qualify for your "breakfast entree syrupy trinity", you should consider a new category for crepes if you're not already a fan. They kick french toast's ass.
Y'know...I think I've had crepes, like, once. Not too long ago, there was a very brief "crepes craze" here in Southern California that saw several pretentious cafés open and close in less than a calendar year. I presume most of those places became $5.00 cupcake cafés. I'll make an effort to give crepes another try -- especially if they're served urban-style.
And, I can't claim credit for the bourbon waffles. That delicious creation came courtesy of a dear family friend, who made the following waffle-related suggestion on my Facebook page:
I recommend you make half the batch [of waffle batter] with a fistful of chocolate chips for J and then thin the rest of the batter out with a shot or two of Kentucky Bourbon for yours and have breakfast for dinner while the wife's away the right way!
What? Well, what do YOU use Facebook for?!She just so happens to be the brains behind this kick-ass baking endeavor so her words carry weight. After my son Jalen annihilated two chocolate chip waffles and half a package of breakfast sausage, I filled a shot glass with Maker's Mark and added it to the remaining batter. I then stirred in some chopped cooked bacon (three strips, if I remember correctly) and let the goodness hit the griddle.
Bacon-bourbon waffles? "Jalen, get daddy the GOOD plate."
Sweet and salty. Smoky, vanilla-y and bourbon-y. The finished product was soo-POIB. ProTip #1: Do yourself a favor and spend the 10 minutes it takes to make a batch of waffle batter from scratch. ProTip #2: Don't use pre-cooked bacon. I mean you could ignore either rule, but the flavors are much more pronounced without the prepackaged batter-powder and pig parts.
I'm not sure crepes can compare to this, Beatríz.
Current Weight: 171.4 lbs.
If I were to rank the members of the "breakfast entree syrupy trinity", I'd place pancakes first with waffles second and French toast taking third. Over the course of my lifetime, there hasn't been much movement among them. As everyone knows, at the center point of every pancake -- and in strict accordance with the laws of gastronomic geometry -- the soaked-up butter and syrup merge to produce the most perfect bite of pretty much any meal.
But, waffles are finally making some noise within the kitchen at Stately Bootleg Manor.
Sure, they've always had the advantage of those built-in miniature syrup n' butter buckets -- each one's contents remaining undisturbed until its eventual knife-and-fork-fueled evisceration. It's just that, to me, waffles have always been a bit one-dimensional when compared to the pancake. For example, pancakes allow for the kind of porcine opportunities that gave the world pigs-in-a-blanket and bacon pancakes. Waffles, while delicious, are blocky and boring. This assessment applies to both domestic and Belgian -- sorry, I've never understood the allure of fruit and whipped cream toppings at the breakfast table.
Last month, my wife spent a week overseas on business, so I was tasked with all of the parental responsibilities. I'm told these include -- but are NOT limited to -- feeding our son. By the third night of Mrs. Bootleg's European adventure, the Cameron men were settling for "breakfast-as-dinner". In this case, it was the chocolate chip waffles I've been making for Jalen for the past year or so. Since then, he's asked for them again and again -- along with the super-sized side of sausage I give him.
I thought I'd be experiencing a bit of a waffle-reprieve last weekend when my good friend Thai came down from Long Beach to visit San Diego for the day. When he was finally free, we kicked around some eating/drinking options before agreeing on a relatively new local entry in the trendy gastropub population -- Urge.
For those who don't know, I live in a section of San Diego known as Rancho Bernardo. We're about 30-40 minutes north of downtown and well east of the ubiquitous beach scene. "RB" -- as it's known -- skews heavy with retirees and the main drag draws down its shade between 8:00 PM and 8:30 PM. (All blue-haired hell broke loose several years ago when a Hooters opened up less than a half-mile from my job.)
So, it was a bit surprising when the young adult-leaning Urge opened. Ironically, it's a bit hidden and tucked between two of RB's older -- in both structure and clientele -- establishments: a regional chain restaurant called Coco's and a wine bar known as The Barrel Room. I visited Urge for the first time last October and I've been back nearly a half-dozen times. The consistent theme in my Urge experiences is that the beers were terrific, but the food...not so much. Not even close, actually.
Thai and I arrived at Urge last Saturday night just before 5:30 PM. The layout of the place has always fascinated me. As you walk in, the proverbial "bar scene" -- stools, long counter, visible beer taps and flat-screen TVs -- is on the right, while the negligibly less noisy (and TV-free) dining area is on the left. The two sides are mostly divided by a wall that kinda-sorta keeps one group from bleeding into the other. Since we envisioned a more leisurely-paced dinner, we opted for the dining side.
Speaking of leisurely, the initial visit from our server took longer than I thought it should, considering the restaurant was roughly half-empty at this point. (By 6:00 PM, it was packed.) After a few more minutes, however, a Karl Strauss "Off the Rails" Red Trolley was in my hand and its smooth toffee and caramel notes were pleasing my palate.
Since Thai and I are cut from the same gluttonous cloth, we both ordered the chicken and waffles and a bowl of their House Cracker Jack as an appetizer. The description of the Cracker Jack hooked me in:
Freshly popped [popcorn] and topped with sweet and spicy house-made caramel, house-cured maple-pork cracklins and pine nuts.
Unfortunately, our appetizer arrived to our table at the same time as the entrees. The server was apologetic and thoughtful enough to offer up an explanation, but this always drives me crazy. Or, as I wrote in a related non sequitur from a TBG post in September 2010:
I want to enjoy my Southwestern Pizza Fingers or Million Dollar Birthday Fries BEFORE my hobo chicken chili is brought out.
My first few bites of the Cracker Jack -- sweet, but not cloyingly so -- paired well with my beer. I didn't pick up much of the "spicy" from the house-made caramel, but its texture was light and left the glorious saltiness of the bite-sized pork slabs (cracklins) unaffected. After a few handfuls of Cracker Jack, I turned to my entree. Naturally, when I attempted to revisit the appetizer a few minutes later, the caramel had hardened and our bowl of popcorn had become a permanent popcorn ball. What I had was decent, but this really needed more salt so that the popcorn could play off the caramel.
The menu description of the chicken and waffles was equally appetizing:
Buttermilk-fried "Mary's Farm" organic free-range chicken, buttermilk waffles and maple syrup.
And, the end result was equally disappointing. I mean, I've eaten enough soul food-restaurant chicken and waffles to know and appreciate "no frills", but the comically sparse garnish and overall plate presentation left a lot to be desired. The waffles were simple, but acceptable. Good buttermilk flavor with a crisp exterior, although I'd have preferred they were served warmer -- and with butter.
The failure was with the fried chicken. If I Google "buttermilk fried chicken", I get images like this on my screen. Thick and "wrinkly" battered-skin, golden-brown exterior. The very overcooked version I was served at Urge was coated in meal and fried as if it were catfish. The impenetrable breading is necessary for the delicate flesh of a fish. Chicken is too dense to be leather breaded and bound as it was here.
It was also unbelievably devoid of flavor. No salt, no pepper, no cayenne, no paprika...nothing. Thai and I had to ask for bottles of commercial hot sauce just so we could taste something on the chicken. And, even though I've developed a taste for the dark meat of chicken in recent months, I was surprised that my server didn't offer me a choice or -- if only dark meat is available -- that the menu didn't call this out. I didn't ask when I ordered, but knowing how fiercely loyal the fried chicken segregationists can be to their preferred pigmentation, it's something Urge's servers should consider.
I think I've eaten from a large enough sample size at Urge to simply take a pass on their food going forward. In previous visits, I tried -- among other things -- the Mini Corn Dog Lollipops (nice idea, really greasy and unspectacular execution); the Coconut Porter wings (thin flavorless sauce, overcooked); the Short Rib Sliders (tough meat, overpowering mustard and pickles) and the Urge Grilled Cheese (ten parts bread, one part everything else).
Their beer menu, however, comes with my highest recommendation. Urge claims to serve the largest tap list in San Diego's North County region. Updated daily, it includes several highly-regarded brews from local landmarks like Stone, Pizza Port, Karl Strauss and Green Flash. They offer another 50 or so by the bottle. There's an obvious solution to my reservations with the food at Urge.
Make a right turn when you enter through the front door and order a beer.
Grade (House Cracker Jack): 2 (out of 5)
Grade (Waffles) 2.5 (out of 5)
Grade (Chicken) -5 (out of 5)
Last Week
Joe: 3-1 (4-0 vs. spread)
Aaron: 2-2 (2-2 vs. spread)
New Orleans (-3) at San Francisco
Joe: So now I have the added pressure of a 4-0 record against the spread to defend, and this game is just waiting to ruin everything for me, right off the bat. I hate this matchup. New Orleans is clearly the better team, but I still don't fully trust them outdoors on the road (I know this is superstitious hooey, but STILL), and the Niners defense is having one of those seasons where nobody scores against them. Why do I have visions of them grinding this game to a halt? The one silver lining for a Saints victory? Their defense is I think good enough to keep the okay San Fran offense from beating them. But I have zero confidence in this pick (...unless it pans out). New Orleans 24, San Francisco 16
Aaron: Ever since it became evident that the 49ers would secure at least the #2 playoff seed in the NFC (so, like, two or three months ago) I've been excited at the prospect of laying real money against them here. In what I can only assume is an homage to the 20-year anniversary of the release of Tecmo Super Bowl, the Niners have an eight-play offensive playbook for QB Alex Smith. And, hey, it's worked. But, against the game's elite teams, you're going to need more than "I'm going to give it to Gore and everybody block" or "Go long, you guys". I've seen enough stats about the stout San Francisco run defense to convince me this won't be a cakewalk for New Orleans. Conversely, I'd like to introduce you to the Saints passing game. New Orleans 30, San Francisco 28
Denver at New England (-13)
Joe: I will admit that even though I won by taking Denver with the points last week, they won in a manner that I completely didn't expect. Tebow made some pretty sweet looking long throws and the offense pretty much moved down the field at will -- though they struggled scoring from within the 20. And that was against a GOOD defense! As a Patriots-hater, it makes me absolutely giddy to imagine what they might be able to do against New England's sorry defenders. That's not to say that the Pats can't still win in a shootout -- or that Tebow's inaccurate arm could return and doom his team -- but I'm more confident taking the points this week than I was last week. New England 38, Denver 31
Aaron: Patriots fans are said to be as nervous about this game as any ever played during the Belichick/Brady era. Yes, I know it's all part of the hype-driven narrative, but as Joe wrote above -- "Happy learned how to putt!" Tebow learned how to throw. What Tebow hasn't learned, though, is how to win a shootout against a very good offense. During the regular season, the Broncos went into Minnesota and won 35-32 -- against an opponent that started rookie Christian Ponder at quarterback and didn't play All-Pro RB Adrian Peterson who missed the game due to injury. The Patriots have a slightly more accomplished QB and their best player won't be on the sidelines. (Their best player is also their quarterback, but you know what I'm driving at.) New England 40, Denver 21
Houston at Baltimore (-7)
Joe: Houston looked very impressive in beating Cincinnati last week, and if they were the ones playing New England this week, I'd be gleefully picking an upset. Even now, the combination of Arian Foster and a vastly improved defense (can we all agree now that Wade Phillips is a brilliant defensive coordinator who should never be allowed to head coach again?) poses a very real threat to the Ravens. But ultimately, I think the Ravens D will force TJ Yates into the one or two mistakes that will be their downfall. But I like this one well enough to take the points. Baltimore 23, Houston 17
Aaron: Impressive? I guess I was less enamored with Houston beating the #6 seed at home by three touchdowns since they used the tried-and-true Arian Foster formula (step 1: give him the ball). "Impressive" will be if they can do it against a Ravens defense that held Foster to 49 yards rushing when these two teams met back in mid-October. Texans QB TJ Yates has completed 20 passes in a game just once in his six starts and his coaching staff kept the play-calling extremely conservative. That seems to play right into the hands of a Ravens team that unleashes several nationally-televised -- albeit unwatchable -- 17-9 final scores on an unsuspecting public each year. Baltimore 17, Houston 9
NY Giants at Green Bay (-9)
Joe: Oh, Giants fans. That was a great victory last week. You should be proud of your team. And if they can manage to retain Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz next year, you've got a lot to be optimistic about. But I hope you weren't listening to sports talk this week, with all its smoke-blowing about the game earlier this year and how the Giants have the best chance to beat the Packers. This won't end well for you, and it's best that you know it. Green Bay 45, NY Giants 20
Aaron: The Giants' innate ability to play up or down to the level of their competition is absolutely fascinating to me. This is a team that lost twice to the Redskins and dropped two home games against the mediocre Seahawks and Eagles. What's it mean here? Well, I think the Giants won't be run off the field. They're built to go blow for blow with the Packers on offense and even though Green Bay is a more formidable scoring machine, I think New York's defensive front will be the proverbial equalizer. Think I squeezed enough tired sports clichés in there? Here's one more: on a game-winning field goal in overtime...NY Giants 30, Green Bay 27
