Last Week: Aaron: 11-3 (0-1 vs. the spread) Joe: 9-5 (1-0) Tom: 8-6 (1-0)
Season to Date: Joe: 85-45 (5-4 vs. the spread) Aaron: 84-46 (4-5) Tom: 67-63 (5-4)
Denver at Cleveland (Thursday Night) Aaron: Shout out to my local CBS affiliate for airing the Broncos/Dolphins game last week. That up close and personal look at Denver's horrific defense was a darn fine reference point for this pick. Pick: Cleveland Joe: Brady Quinn in his first NFL start in a primetime nationally sporadically-televised game would seem to be a buffet invitation for an NFL defense. Lucky for him, he's not facing an NFL defense. I want to pick the Broncos here, but I also want to stick to my one-on, one-off strategy for picking Browns games. Football is hard! Pick: Denver
Tennessee at Chicago Aaron: One bandwagon insists the Titans are for reals. The other is calling for a Bears "upset" win this week. I say they're both wrong. Brain teaser! Pick: Tennessee
Joe: Yeah, I think I've finally turned the corner and am now pulling for the Titans to go 16-0, followed by a humiliating home loss in the AFC playoffs. At which point I will coin the phrase "Music City Mega-Choke" and I will laugh and laugh. Pick: Tennessee
Jacksonville at Detroit Aaron: When a rusty Rex Grossman is able to come of the bench and lead a comeback win against the Lions last week, it's time to consider forfeiting next season. Pick: Jacksonville
Joe: They're gonna get a win sometime. The question is, does Jacksonville drop two straight to winless teams? Not to Daunte Culpepper, they don't. Pick: Jacksonville
Seattle at Miami Aaron: As a rule, teams from the west always lose road games when traveling to the east, especially when the team from the west is Seattle. Pick: Miami
Joe: Is Miami really about to go 5-4? One more win after that and they're bowl eligible! Pick: Miami
Green Bay at Minnesota Aaron: After a long stretch of dormancy, that Vikings offense has looked quite spry lately. They're the NFL equivalent of McCain's concession speech. Eh? Eh? And, how 'bout Michelle Obama's "victory" dress? Did you see that big 'X' across the front? The first letter I thought of was "why"? The next four were "WNBA". Eh? Screw you guys. I'm still funnier than DL Hughley. Pick: Minnesota
Joe: The Packers always do well in the Metrodome, right? I have these images of long Brett Favre TD passes and such. Big day for Aaron Rodgers this week ... just in time for me to play against him in fantasy ball. Damn it! Pick: Green Bay
Baltimore at Houston Aaron: Home or road, the Ravens have beaten every average-to-awful team they've played this year. I think it's safe to say the Texans fall within that realm. Pick: Baltimore
Joe: Baltimore better hope they can win this one; their schedule gets retarded after this one. And honestly? I like the Houston offense here. Pick: Houston
St. Louis at N.Y. Jets Aaron: Back in September, everyone predicted that Brett Favre would ultimately break the hearts of Jets fans. The script says he needs a little mid-season renaissance to set up the audience for his tragic third act. Can't wait! Pick: NY Jets
Joe: I can't tell whether it's my gut telling me to go with the Rams or my heart wanting to see the Jets get beat. I can tell that Marc Bulger had an awful game last week and Steven Jackson is once again not playing. Pick: NY Jets
New Orleans at Atlanta Aaron: My theory here is that the Falcons had their life-force sucked out of them after playing Oakland's collection of corpses and zombies last week. Implausible? Prove me wrong. Pick: New Orleans
Joe: I agree the Saints probably win here, but the Falcons are for-realsies. Pick: New Orleans
Buffalo at New England Aaron: The Bills have scored just 17 points or less in three of their last four games – a stretch that followed their 4-0 start and coronation as the new kings of the AFC East. "Who dares interrupt my coronation?!" "Coronation, Starscream? This is bad comedy." Pick: New England
Joe: NERD! Pick: Buffalo
Carolina at Oakland Aaron: Lament of a Raiders fan – I forgot to swap out Jay Cutler (who started on Thursday) for Jake Delhomme in my money league this week. Trapped at work – where ALL things "fantasy" (trust me, ALL of her them) are blocked, I'll have to settle for nothing from this game. Pick: Carolina
Joe: Jay Cutler: 447 yards passing, 3 touchdowns. Who knew the Raiders made their FANS suck at talent evaluation too? Pick: Carolina[Ed. Note: In my defense, I wrote my piece BEFORE the Thurs. night game. Cough.]
Indianapolis at Pittsburgh Aaron: The only way the Steelers lose this game is if their 11 defensive players fall victim to 11 separate misfortunes and are unable to play Sunday. Three misfortunes? That's possible. Seven misfortunes? There's an outside chance. But, 11 misfortunes? I'd like to see that! Pick: Pittsburgh
Joe: Considering Pittsburgh is starting the cast of George Romero's next "...of the Dead" movie on offense, I'm going to stick with the Colts here. Pick: Indianapolis
Kansas City at San Diego Aaron: The Chargers are due for one of those blowout wins that signals their eighth or ninth resurgence this season. This is that game. Again. Pick: San Diego
Joe: Dear LaDanian Tomlinson's Toe: Please accept this gift of a soft, squishy Chiefs defense and let it nurse you back to health. Pick: San Diego
N.Y. Giants at Philadelphia Aaron: I'm beginning to think I've been wrong about the Giants. But, I'll need another week of convincing. Pick: Philadelphia
Joe: And I continue to thank you for your doubt. Pick: NY Giants
San Francisco at Arizona Aaron: So, when a player intentionally usurps the spotlight from his team = bad…when it's 49ers head coach Mike Singletary = good? Pick: Arizona
Joe: Please don't ruin the Mike Singletary Experience for me like you rained on El Carnivale de Ocho Cinco for three years. I don't ask for much. Pick: Arizona
The Sure-Thing Suicide Spread
Aaron:San Francisco (+9 1/2) at Arizona Joe:St. Louis (+9) at NY Jets
7:45 AM, Jalen's Preschool - One of the oddest aspects of living in ultra-conservative San Diego is that, politically, everyone seems to think alike. Consequently, I've lost count of the number of times that friends, co-workers and random San Diegans simply assume I share their viewpoints by virtue of my zip code. I hadn't even taken my son out of his car seat when another parent went off on Obama's win with the usual local lament of those damn, dirty liberals in Los Angeles and San Francisco cancelling out the virtuous voters of San Diego. Hey, I was born in Long Beach (LA County). HEY!
8:15 AM, 7-11 - After a half-dozen stops before work, I've come to the conclusion that there's not one newspaper left in this town. I'm setting the over/under for the eBay "Buy it Now" price of the November 5th New York Times at $99.99.
11:30 AM, Unnamed Defense Contractor - Little tense around the office today! The conversations about last night's election results all came to a screeching halt whenever I walked past my co-workers in the file room, the break room or on my way to the double-wide handicapped stall in the men's room. (F*ck, no newspaper there, either.) Really, co-workers? Really? Now, you're assuming I voted for Obama even though – as a rule – I never talk politics at work? Did none of you read the first paragraph of this post?
8:00 PM, Stately Bootleg Manor - Mrs. Bootleg's hairdresser called and invited us to…an Obama victory party on Saturday night. Come on. Black people. Come on. I mean, 72 hours notice? Whatever shall I wear?! Oh, who am I kidding…Sunday is my sixth wedding anniversary. The wife and I already scheduled a date night for the 8th. Still, the party's only going to be a couple of miles from us. AND, the potential for blog fodder is off the freakin' charts. Stay tuned.
…and a forgotten anecdote from Election Night:
Mrs. Bootleg: "Be sure to save all the receipts from our donations to Obama's campaign."
Me: "Uhh…I'm pretty sure that campaign donations aren't tax-deductable."
California – my home state – propelled Barack Obama over the finish line and into history, while simultaneously spitting in the face of our gay and lesbian populace who rejoiced just as loudly as me when Obama won the presidency.
Make no mistake: the politics of uninformed fear and outright lies is alive and well in this country. Credit where it's due, as the supporters of Proposition 8 controlled the narrative from the get-go, while the opponents didn't even begin their blitz until polls showed the measure gaining ground at the end of summer.
Proposition 8 was distorted from its homespun, bible-toting bigoted roots and thrown further down the sewer until it became good ol' "won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?!" claptrap:
In response, the opposition floated this spineless spot that inexplicably targeted the minority of undecided voters, instead of attempting to sway soft or moderate supporters:
By the time Proposition 8 opponents finally found an effective context – correctly framing the measure in a historic civil rights context to win over the veritable goldmine of minorities in this state – it was too late:
And, wouldn't you know, that the same Blacks and Hispanics who've been so marginalized by the extremist right are the ones who helped push Proposition 8 over the top. Democracy!
There is a silver lining, I suppose. The defeat of this measure has only served to further galvanize the gay and lesbian communities, along with their friends and families. Lawsuits have already been filed and based on my close physical proximity with the legal department at the Unnamed Defense Contractor, I'm guaranteeing victory* at the end of the day.
* - Not a guarantee.
Seriously though, however this matter is ultimately decided – win or lose – it's not the end, either way. Just as the 13th Amendment fell a wee bit short of solving Black America's issues, the issue of gay rights has generations of chapters still to be written. I, for one, would love to read the ending. I'll probably skip the acknowledgements section at the very very end, though.
My grandmother, Hazel Cameron, died on December 15, 2001.
She was a bombastic old battle axe who proudly wore her Democratic political affiliation on her sleeve. She was also a wife for 51 years and a white woman who raised two biracial daughters in the 1950s and 1960s. When she passed, it was the first time I'd seen or heard my grandfather cry.
Tonight makes two.
When Barack Obama was announced as the winner in Virginia – pushing him over 220 electoral votes – Mrs. Bootleg and I exchanged simultaneous, identical fist pumps. The West Coast polls were mere moments from closing and California (you, too, Oregon and Washington!) was guaranteed to put him over the top.
Considering I attended community college for awhile AND worked in the defense contracting industry before 9/11, I can honestly say that today was the least productive day of my life. All I could think about was Hazel and how this election would've shared her personal stage of great moments with the birth of her grandson, Jalen, which she missed by a little over two years.
So, of course, I cried, too.
I called my mom at 8:00 PM. She'd been politically apathetic for as long as I can remember, but she submitted her absentee ballot before mine. She was speechless. She shared my hope that Obama would win, but also my doubt that America would vote for him.
A few minutes later, I called my grandfather. 82-years-old. Born in 1920s Alabama. Before you knew it, we were sobbing harder than the cast of Good Times when the James Evans character got killed off. African-Americans were essentially sub-humans in this country 82 years ago and tonight I'm having a conversation with my grandfather that I thought we'd never have.
Still, I'm not naïve.
The political maneuvers during this presidential campaign were often despicable as some of the fringe lunatic factions from the right made desperate attempts to paint Obama as, basically, "the scary Black Muslim guy". Meanwhile, I was very disappointed in Obama's reluctance to talk about race – beyond his famous damage-control speech early in the spring.
Obama's election doesn't silence the ignorance of the extreme kooks out in places like rural Ohio, rural Missouri or all of West Virginia. It also shouldn't be played down so as not to offend the majority demographic of this country that's held the highest office in the land since America's birth.
In the last month, both sides have pulled every hypothetical boogeyman from under the bed and tried to scare America out of voting for the other guy. The reality is that these are the most uncertain times my country has faced during my adult life. No one – not McCain, not Obama – knows what challenges we'll face in the four years ahead.
So, I voted for the guy who I'd rather ride into tomorrow with.
Two weeks ago, I took my car in to have slow leaks in two of the tires looked at.
When I went to pick it up, I was told that only one of the tires was leaking air. This sounded odd, considering I'd been filling up both tires with air at least once a week for a month. But, it was Friday afternoon, Mrs. Bootleg and the boy were out of the house and happy hour awaited.
Last Thursday, I found my car in the parking structure of the unnamed defense contractor with a flat front tire. As is usually the case with me, even when I'm right it's only because something went wrong.
Anyways, that evening's dinner plans with the family went out the window in the five minutes it took to change my flat…and the 55 minutes it took AAA to send someone out to change it. Instead, I pulled into a new local take-out place. While waiting on my pizza and ribs (together at last!) I bought a $3.00 bottle of Budweiser's new American Ale.
Over the last 15 years, I've swallowed most of the ridiculous Bud derivatives. In college, Bud Ice and Bud Dry were huge with the Solo cup set and today, if I have to choose one cheap beer-flavored beverage to enjoy at all the random kids' birthdays/barbecues, it'll be Bud Light.
Stately Bootleg Manor exclusively stocks Fat Tire – which most beer snobs just barely tolerate – so I was stunned at my first sip of American Ale. There's a lot of Fat Tire in there. American Ale has a prickly little hoppy taste that goes down smooth with a bit of a bitter finish. It's maltier than I thought it would be – but, not the least bit heavy – and could casually be described as eminently poundable.
In a casual search of "American Ale review" listings, I found several aficionados who broke down the beverage as if they were reverse engineering the atom. Here's all you need to know, dear reader: American Ale is a good little beer.
Proposition 6 – Places additional penalties on gang-related and drug crime. Takes monies from California General Fund (previously earmarked for schools, health services, housing and the environment) to pay for new and existing criminal justice programs.
TBG Votes: No. Poorly written and ill-conceived, this is one of those "tough on crime" mandates that supporters hope won't be read past the first sentence or two.
Proposition 7 – Would require California utilities to procure half of their power from renewable resources by 2025. It will also require California utilities to increase their purchase of electricity generated from renewable resources by 2% annually to meet Renewable Portfolio Standard (RPS) requirements of 40% in 2020 and 50% in 2025.
TBG Votes: No. Most independent studies have shown that a short-to-moderate term increase in current annual household energy costs if this passes. Mrs. Bootleg only works part time, people.
Proposition 9 – Would alter laws governing victim's rights in California and amend the California Constitution to add new provisions regarding victims of crimes.
TBG Votes: No. Administratively redundant with many state laws already on the books.
Proposition 10 – Would provide rebates to Californians who purchase vehicles powered by fuel sources other than regular gasoline, as well as a rebate for those who buy fuel-saving vehicles. The state government would pay for the rebates, up to a total of $5 billion. Also provides for funding/grant research on alternative fuels.
TBG Votes: No. Huge conflict-of-interest here as the primary backer of this initiative (T. Boone Pickens' Clean Energy Fuels, Corp.) stands to make the most off it. I'm not down with funneling California dollars to help anyone from Oklahoma. They know why.
Proposition 11 – Changes the authority for establishing the district boundaries of the California State Assembly, California State Senate, and Board of Equalization from elected representatives to a 14-member commission.
TBG Votes: No. The committee will be formed of five Republicans, five Democrats and four from neither party. I wouldn't trust that make-up to pick an appetizer to share at Chili's, much less to slice and dice districts. BTW, Chili's Southwestern Egg Rolls = crazy underrated.
Proposition 12 – Authorizes issuance of $900 million in bonds to create a fund that assist veterans who are purchasing farms, homes and mobile home properties.
TBG Votes: No. Nearly one billion dollars to throw down the California housing sinkhole at a time when our state's economics look like sh*t? Replace "veterans" with any other needy group and it's rationalized away by everyone.
Last Week: Aaron: 9-5 (0-1 vs. the spread) Joe: 12-2 (0-1) Tom: 8-6 (0-1)
Season to Date: Joe: 76-40 (4-4 vs. the spread) Aaron: 73-43 (4-4) Office Secretaries who Pick Based on the Better Uniform: 60-56 Tom: 59-57 (4-4) N.Y. Jets at Buffalo Aaron: It's telling – to me, anyway – that even Brett Favre's staunchest supporters (SI's Peter King, the ESPN family of networks) seem a little less sure of his lily-white façade. I'm expecting Evil Brett to have a nice little midseason run of malevolence. Pick: NY Jets
Joe: Yes, America, that was one truly bad game by the Bills last week awful. Sloppy and loose and miserable. No other team in the league has had any games like that this year. The season is over. Pick: Buffalo
Detroit at Chicago Aaron: Thanks, schedule makers. I needed to conserve on keystrokes this week. Pick: Chicago
Joe: Is anybody else a lil' bit concerned that the celebratedly sieve-like defense of the Lions has only given up 25, 28, and 12 points in the last three weeks? How am I supposed to plan my fantasy starters around THAT? Pick: Chicago
Jacksonville at Cincinnati Aaron: The Bengals have the look of a team that stopped caring six weeks ago. As such, I'm not picking 'em the rest of the way. I'll trade the seven times I'll be right, for the one time I'll be wrong. Pick: Jacksonville
Joe: Yeah, that team that looked frisky against the Giants, Cowboys, and Jets doesn't seem to be there anymore. Take a long, hard look Future No. 1 Draft Pick Whose Name I Don't Know Because I Haven't Been Paying a Ton of Attention to College Ball This Season! Pick: Jacksonville
Baltimore at Cleveland Aaron: After a couple of impressive showings, I'm forced to pick the Browns until their next random bed-wetting. I'm sure they'll save it for one of their eight remaining Thursday/Sunday/Monday night prime-time games. Pick: Cleveland
Joe: The thing with Baltimore, I think, is that they suck except for when they don't. My guess is the Browns will keep trading wins for losses until the end of the season, when Brady Quinn will get his first NFL start, play like it's his first NFL start, and be summarily dismissed as a bust immediately. Pick: Baltimore
Tampa Bay at Kansas City Aaron:The Bucs haven't played too well on the road against beatable opponents, while the Chiefs aren't nearly as bad as they looked earlier this season. F*ck, I just talked myself into it. Wait, just found out Larry Johnson's been suspended. Pick: Tampa Bay
Joe: While, yes, the Bucs do tend to play up (or in this case down) to the level of their opponents, they should feel the appropriate urgency to win this one, given how good Carolina is playing in their division. Pick: Tampa Bay
Houston at Minnesota Aaron: It's not every day that an inter-conference match-up is as uninteresting as its baseball inter-league cousin, but there ya go. Pick: Minnesota
Joe: It seems like for the last three years, every time I pick against Minnesota, they win. Sorry, Houston. Pick: Houston
Arizona at St. Louis Aaron: OK, any pre-game mouth that opens discussion of this game with "The Cardinals make their return to St. Louis…" 20 years after they left for Phoenix, should be shot. Shannon Sharpe, Michael Strahan, your move. Please. Pick: Arizona
Joe: Not gonna be much defense in this one. In the end, Warner has more weapons at his disposal. But make no mistake, I -- and my Boldin, Breaston, Avery-laden fantasy team -- want touchdowns and plenty of 'em. Pick: Arizona
Green Bay at Tennessee Aaron: Enough with the "…there are no great teams in the NFL, except maybe Tennessee…" talk, media. Even that back-handed praise is too much. The Titans are not great. They're just not. Pick: Green Bay
Joe: And my picking them here is purely an attempt to jinx them. Pick: Tennessee
Miami at Denver Aaron: I'm down to Jay Cutler in my money league, thanks to bye weeks and injuries. Combine that with a Broncos defense that's been a sieve all season… Pick: Miami
Joe: I don't know about Miami on the road. And while that Denver defense is garbage, the offense is strong. Pick: Denver
Dallas at N.Y. Giants Aaron: The next time Giants fans are blowing up call-in radio shows and bitching about PSAs and good hygiene, I hope they thank the football karmic gods for clearing their team's path of healthy and/or good opposition all year. Pick: NY Giants
Joe: Yeah! Stupid lucky Super Bowl champions who keep winning games. Pick: NY Giants
Atlanta at Oakland Aaron: Let's see…root for my Raiders to pick up a meaningless win in a forgettable season or root for Falcons RB Michael Turner to score some meaningful points for my fantasy team. This is hard! Pick: Atlanta
Joe: This is a good Atlanta team who will be a threat in the playoffs ... next season. Pick: Atlanta
Philadelphia at Seattle Aaron: Unrelated to this game, but how is 25 years considered "suffering" for Philly sports fans? Did I miss a parade in Cleveland since 1983? 1973? Pick: Philadelphia
Joe: For as bad as this Seahawks team is, if they had Hasselbeck healthy, they'd be a threat to go 8-8 and win the division. I almost want to pick them here. Pick: Philadelphia
New England at Indianapolis Aaron: Last Monday night's game against the Titans was the last shovel of dirt on the Colts' remarkable run. But, wait! There's Peyton Manning's right arm popping out of the grave, all dramatic and sh*t! Pick: Indianapolis
Joe: Yeah, not so fast there, gravediggers. Matt Cassel is no Kerry Collins, I can tell you that. Pick: Indianapolis
Pittsburgh at Washington Aaron: If there were just ONE weeknight primetime match-up for me to pick wrong in the next few days, let it be this one. Pick: Pittsburgh
Joe: Isn't this that superstitious game where if the Redskins win then the Democrat wins the election, and if they lose, they might not make the playoffs? Pick: Washington
