With this year's six-win margin, m'man Joe Reid won our
seventh annual NFL Pickery. After I
picked up wins in the first three seasons, Joe has run the goddam board for
four straight years. We're back for the
Super Bowl, but if you can't get enough of Joe, you can find him hanging out on
more important websites than mine.
That's right. I
know people.
San Francisco (-3) vs. Baltimore
Joe: Okay, first of all, none of you
have any reason to believe me, but I had the Ravens picked as the AFC
representative in the Super Bowl from the beginning of the playoffs and would
have picked them happily with those crazy point spreads against the Broncos and
Patriots. But, again, you have no cause to believe me there, so let's move on
to rooting interest:
I have no good reason for why I don't hate Ray Lewis more than I do. I probably should. He maybe killed a guy? He certainly obstructed justice by covering up the truth, but seeing as I finished a hundred or so credits shy of my degree in criminal justice, I don't tend to get hung up on it. It's not like I like the guy, but I've become way too desensitized to athletes dancing around to be bothered by something like that. Also, the Jesus stuff is SO over-the-top that I actually find it hilarious. He ends up looking so crazy that the sportscasters (almost always the biggest cause for annoyance in sports) can't even rhapsodize his faith, like they do with Tebow. It's just Ray acting like a lunatic, and then it's back to the studio hosts who are all, "Certainly an ... emotional day for Ray Lewis." They actually don't know how to talk about it.
Meanwhile, there's just so much to hate about the 49ers. Starting with the fact that their fans spontaneously regained the ability to be smug monsters in the last six weeks. Dormant 18 years, they're back! And they're awful! And then there's Jim Harbaugh, who ... I get it, if you like the Niners, Harbaugh's a savior, and all his obnoxious behavior becomes endearing. But what's everybody else's excuse for tolerating this jackass's bullshit for one second? This crap is as funny as the Ray Lewis God stuff, I guess, but it bugs me way more. Maybe that's just my problem. What's not just my problem? 49ers homophobia! Congratulations, Chris Culliver, you win the Media Week Soundbite Trophy! Look, I understand that the reality of pro football (and most of pro sports) is that 85% of the athletes on all teams probably hate my ass just for being me, but when this is the public face of the Niners and this is the public face of the Ravens, my already-Ravens-leaning loyalties get set in stone.
I have no good reason for why I don't hate Ray Lewis more than I do. I probably should. He maybe killed a guy? He certainly obstructed justice by covering up the truth, but seeing as I finished a hundred or so credits shy of my degree in criminal justice, I don't tend to get hung up on it. It's not like I like the guy, but I've become way too desensitized to athletes dancing around to be bothered by something like that. Also, the Jesus stuff is SO over-the-top that I actually find it hilarious. He ends up looking so crazy that the sportscasters (almost always the biggest cause for annoyance in sports) can't even rhapsodize his faith, like they do with Tebow. It's just Ray acting like a lunatic, and then it's back to the studio hosts who are all, "Certainly an ... emotional day for Ray Lewis." They actually don't know how to talk about it.
Meanwhile, there's just so much to hate about the 49ers. Starting with the fact that their fans spontaneously regained the ability to be smug monsters in the last six weeks. Dormant 18 years, they're back! And they're awful! And then there's Jim Harbaugh, who ... I get it, if you like the Niners, Harbaugh's a savior, and all his obnoxious behavior becomes endearing. But what's everybody else's excuse for tolerating this jackass's bullshit for one second? This crap is as funny as the Ray Lewis God stuff, I guess, but it bugs me way more. Maybe that's just my problem. What's not just my problem? 49ers homophobia! Congratulations, Chris Culliver, you win the Media Week Soundbite Trophy! Look, I understand that the reality of pro football (and most of pro sports) is that 85% of the athletes on all teams probably hate my ass just for being me, but when this is the public face of the Niners and this is the public face of the Ravens, my already-Ravens-leaning loyalties get set in stone.
As for who's GOING to win? ...Yeah, probably the Niners.
They've been the best team all season, probably, albeit one with a weird
vulnerability to the St. Louis Rams. Pick: San Francisco 31, Baltimore
23
Aaron: It's hard for me to remember a
Super Bowl in which my the potential
for glorious schadenfreude outweighed any rooting interest. Oh, I suppose it would be nice to see the
49ers players hoist the Lombardi Trophy under a maelstrom of
confetti and the sanctimonious specter of James Brown's swollen bee-stung
mug. Similarly, I'd have no problem with
the much-maligned Joe Flacco -- "He once called himself 'the best'
quarterback in the league without waiting for OUR endorsement?! GET HIM!",
Sportswriters Everywhere -- begrudgingly
feted by his disproportionately large number of detractors.
It's just
that...yeah, everything else.
49ers quarterback
Colin Kaepernick is the most compelling player on the field, but instead of
appreciating him for his cannon arm and Randall Cunningham legs, we have to
turn his story into a national debate on adoption? This is why I don't watch any Super Bowl
coverage between the conference championship games and 3:18 PM on the first
Sunday in February. And, I
still can't escape it.
Joe and I didn't
pick any of the playoff games this season, but if we had, I might not have won
a game. Trust me...I was wrong on
EVERYTHING. I had Peyton Manning and the
Broncos playing today. I was sure the
Green Bay Packers were getting healthy at juuuuust the right
time. Two weeks ago, I joined the chorus
of voices that called for a San Francisco win.
The dynamic offense! The underrated
defense! The genius/jerkface Jim Harbaugh!
But, isn't it
possible that -- at SOME point -- the experience wins
out? Flacco has spent his career going
15 12 10?...is it 10 rounds now in
boxing?...10 rounds with very good-to-great Pittsburgh teams during the regular
season and traded season-ending blows with the Patriots in the playoffs. The Ravens' defense isn't what its decade-old
reputation would have you believe, but it doesn't have to be to defeat a 49ers
team that's ran the gamut from "Super Bowl team" to "0-1-1
against the St. Louis Rams". Pick:
Baltimore 28, San Francisco 27
