Thursday, December 9, 2010

2010 NFL Pickery -- Week #14

Last Week:

Aaron: 12-4
Tom: 12-4
Joe: 9-7


Joe: 125-67
Aaron: 119-73
Tom: 119-73

Indianapolis at Tennessee (Thursday)

Aaron: For those scoring at home, the "maybe Peyton Manning is playing hurt" retroactive excuse made it's mainstream media debut this week. And, a full six months ahead of all the 2011 fantasy football guides that'll install him as a top three QB selection with an identical rationale. I stuck with Manning all year - even as he drifted farther downstream - all while reassuring myself, "He's still good! He's still good!" Never again. Pick: Indianapolis

Joe: Not to be the Manning apologist that I totally am, but we're not going to lay big, huge chunks of the blame for the Colts season on their nonexistant running game? Like, single-digit yardage totals, we're talking about. This needed to be a priority for about three years now, and is hasn't been, and now here we are. Letting the New England Patriots re-establish AFC dominance. Bill Polian, what happened to you?? Pick: Indianapolis

Cleveland at Buffalo

Aaron: Assuming the season starts on time, I'm not sure which 2011 preseason narrative I'm least looking forward to: (1) The Browns as the chic "sleeper" Super Bowl pick, as everyone conveniently forgets the 2007-08 Cleveland seasons. Or, (2) Peyton Hillis awkwardly hyped as the first white running back to be the consensus first pick in the history of fantasy football. Boy, I hope ESPN has the resources to cover these stories from every angle! Pick: Cleveland

Joe: It's too bad this is such a meaningless game in the overall scheme of things, because I'd love to see it. Snow football in Buffalo! So pretty! Anyway, I have a weird feeling the Bills will pull this out, even though Steve Johnson appears to be following the head-case path I worried about last week. Pick: Buffalo

Green Bay at Detroit

Aaron: Continuing my admittedly d-bag fantasy football tactic from last week, I plucked Packers rookie RB James Starks off the waiver wire just so one of the playoff teams in my league couldn't benefit from him. This was not nearly as offensive as Lions QB Drew Stanton unleashing
The Dougie on a regional viewing audience, y'all. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: Sorry, Detroit. I'm done with you for the year. Pick: Green Bay

Tampa Bay at Washington

So, the Bucs have definitively established that they can beat bad teams, but not good teams. The Redskins aren't good, but the forecast is calling for rain on Sunday with temperatures in the 40s. Will Mother Nature be the difference-maker? I dunno, but for those wondering, it's supposed to be 88 and sunny here in San Diego on Sunday. If this game were here, I'd pick Tampa Bay. Pick: Washington

Joe: Damn it, Cam. Taking my upset pick before I can claim it. Ah well, maybe I'll roll with Tampa. Washington can't seem to defend the pass, this could be a Josh Freeman bonanza day, rain or no rain. Pick: Tampa Bay

Oakland at Jacksonville

Last week's upset victory in San Diego might've been my favorite Raiders win in almost 10 years. It wasn't so much who they beat (yes, it was) as it was their game plan. Oakland (5-6) played with a level of urgency and energy -- going for it on 4 and 1, naked bootlegs(!) and some soo-POIB play-action sleight-of-hand -- that the 6-5 Chargers inexplicably lacked. This reeks of a letdown game vs. the resurgent Jags, but I'm still on a residual high from last week. Pick: Jacksonville

Joe: I'm starting to wonder if my longstanding hatred of the Jags has blinded me to the fact that they're halfway decent. A horrible bet in the playoffs, sure, but probably a team I should pick once or twice. Pick: Jacksonville

Atlanta at Carolina

It's looking less and less likely that the Falcons will have to play outdoors when the playoffs start next month. If home-field advantage does lead to a Super Bowl berth for Atlanta, what'll be the over/under (in minutes) on the length of the inevitable sepia-filtered, tear-filled pregame feature that looks back on Eugene Robinson's ill-advised
to-go order prior to the last Falcons Super Bowl appearance? Pick: Atlanta

Joe: Atlanta is heavily favored for a reason, BUT this game could be dangerous. Late-season road games against inferior intra-division opponents are super dangerous, particularly when certain QBs don't seem to perform as well on the road. Pick: Atlanta

N.Y. Giants at Minnesota

Brett Favre vs. the Giants' defense. I imagine the postgame footage of Favre in the trainers' room will look a little something
like this. Pick: NY Giants

Joe: Beware, Giants. These nothing-to-lose Vikings will be all over your asses. I know I underestimated the Giants last week, and maybe they're officially righted their ship, but I'm thinking they've got one more late-season stinker left in them. Pick: Minnesota

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh

Aaron: The Bengals have lost nine in a row with seven of those setbacks by a margin of eight points or less. God bless 'em, but Cincinnati might be the most endearingly
stupid football team since Scott Bakula, Sinbad and Kathy Ireland made us laugh in Necessary Roughness. Not to be confused with the Death Row Records release of the same name. Huh...I never noticed the similarities between Sinbad and The Lady of Rage before. Pick: Pittsburgh

Joe: And if you're still reading after clicking away to all those links, I'll just say that Pittsburgh should take care of this one easily. Pick: Pittsburgh

St. Louis at New Orleans

Aaron: Their nine wins haven't always been pretty, but the Saints should hold serve at home against a rookie quarterback and a Rams team that is averaging just under 20 points per game on the season. New Orleans has put up 30+ points in four straight games. Numbers don't lie...unless it's the
announced weight of a professional wrestler. Pick: New Orleans

Joe: The more weeks go by, the more running backs who return to the Saints' active roster. Couple more weeks and we'll see if Dalton Hilliard can help them out for the playoffs. (Yes, I thought "Iron Head" Heyward was too obvious a reference, Zest commercial or no.) Pick: New Orleans

Seattle at San Francisco

Anyone else notice how big the cross worn around the neck of 49ers head coach Mike Singletary has gotten? I think it's safe to say that he's adequately protected himself from
Fat Tony and his goons whether they plan to take him out gangland-style or execution-style. Ironic, though, that the cross won't protect him from the unemployment line in roughly four weeks. Pick: Seattle

Joe: Now that the NFL seems to be so into making up new rules all willy nilly (18 game schedules! No tackling with your arms, legs, or body!), which proposed rule makes more sense: Everyone's theory that a 7-9 division champ shouldn't be eligible for the playoffs; or my theory that San Francisco should be able to exercise eminent domain on that Stanford QB and resurrect their franchise? Pick: Seattle

Kansas City at San Diego

Aaron: If the Chargers win AND the Raiders win, then Kansas City will hold a one game lead over Oakland with three games to play. If the Chargers lose, San Diego will be three games back with three to play and, for all intents and purposes, eliminated from the playoff race. This, my friends, is the quintessential win-win scenario for an unabashed Chargers-hater like me. Still, I'm obligated to root for San Diego here...if only to keep the Chiefs within reach. Pick: San Diego

Joe: That is a lot to consider (not to mention how cute it is that the Raiders are in "playoff contention"). I'm just hoping for a 100-total-points fantasy bonanza for my friends Phil Rivers and Jamaal Charles. That's all. Pick: San Diego

New England at Chicago

Aaron: The notion (floated by a certain New England-by-way-of-LA internet columnist) that this current Pats team is playing at a higher level than the 2007 squad that went undefeated in the regular season is laughably absurd. The notion that the Bears can win this game is almost as absurd. Pick: New England

Joe: Really? No chance the Bears can ugly this one up enough for a cheap win? Oh, fine. I'm done handing you games by picking against Destiny's Pats. Pick: New England

Miami at N.Y. Jets

Aaron: Just so I'm clear: according to this week's sports media narrative, the Jets' humiliating loss to New England last Monday night proves that New York is a fraudulent contender? Did the Jets beatdown of New England in week two not happen? Are future Biff Tannen and that damned sports almanac to blame? Pick: NY Jets

Joe: Look for an overly exuberant Rex Ryan to do everything short of taking a sh*t on the Dolphins logo at mid-field when the Jets win this one by 6 points. Pick: NY Jets

Denver at Arizona

The Broncos fired head coach Josh McDaniels earlier in the week. McDaniels was blamed for alienating players, fans and the media, but let's not gloss over the real reason for his failure: NFL head coaches should be named "Tom" or "Chuck" or "Bill" or "Vince". These are names that command respect. To me, "Josh" is synonymous with 8-10 kids answering "here" in second-grade homeroom when the teacher called role. Pick: Denver

Joe: I think Arizona is starting a rookie at QB this week. It's tough to tell, since any QB that attempts to take over from Derek Anderson either gets injured or cut or shunned for being a party boy. Maybe Derek was laughing on the sideline because he's so good at voodoo! Pick: Denver

Philadelphia at Dallas

If Cowboys WR Roy Williams hadn't gift-wrapped Dallas' loss to the Saints on Thanksgiving Day, the 'Boys would be undefeated since firing head coach Wade Phillips. Consequently, a lot more people would be showing some faith in Dallas here. I think. Pick: Dallas

Joe: Why sure! I will pick an offensive juggernaut against a team who can't seem to stop the ball when they need to! Pick: Philadelphia

Baltimore at Houston

Aaron: I've thoroughly enjoyed the third straight year of Houston's "kick ass in September" tease to Texans fans and prognosticators alike. It's time to send Houston into hibernation for the winter, Ravens D. Pick: Baltimore

Joe: The Texans officially lost me last week when they couldn't sustain their second-half comeback against Philly. Some of us could have used that win for completely legitimate purposes, Houston! Pick: Baltimore


Elena said...

Score one for my women's intuition. Now I just need to start convincing ad moguls that *no one* thinks that Peyton Manning makes a convincing salesman. Not one more commercial, ad moguls. Not one more!!

SHough610 said...

1) Cam, I wonder what pointless story ESPN will run into the ground now that Favre is retiring for reals?
2) Cam, I hope you picked the Minnesota game BEFORE the Giants got stranded and will be at the stadium 2.5 hours before the game?
3) If you don't think Bill Simmons is going to be crowing about "reverse jinx!" when the Pats win you're crazy.
4) speaking of Simmons, did you see the stupid fan theory on why the Eagles won't go to the Super Bowl? It's not a crappy offensive line or shaky defense, it's a conspiracy because Mike Vick is too controversial.
5) Joe, any idea on if Pollian would be welcome back in Buffalo? He's built two juggernauts and I'd love to see Buffalo good again.
6) Cam, the Jets aren't Super Bowl contenders. Beating a team in Week 13 is very different than week 2. IMHO the Jets are the third or fourth best team in the AFC (behind NE and Pitt and possibly Baltimore). The Jets just seem to wilt in pressure situations

Aaron C. said...

1.) Does the NFL lockout count? Isn't Rachel Nichols already camped out on Roger Goodell's lawn?

2.) I did. But, I also picked it before Favre's obnoxious "revelation" that if the game was today...he couldn't play. Jesus, this guy.

3.) Yeah, his "reverse jinx" gimmick only rivals his "you can look in his eyes" analysis for all-around dickness.

4.) I, for one, look forward to him defending this nonsense on a podcast with some football stat guy. Bill's opening argument = "Cuh-MAHHN!"

6.) I dunno. Last year's less talented NYJ team forced their way into the playoffs and won two road postseason games. Maybe they're not Super Bowl contenders, but they're not "45-3" bad.