Last Week
Aaron: 10-2
Joe:
9-3
Current Standings
Joe: 64-39
Aaron: 59-44
Tampa Bay at Minnesota (Thursday)
Aaron: So, Joe sent me his write-up
before I had a chance to do mine. I'm surprised (not surprised) that he went
with the self-serving fantasy football angle when this Samantha
Steele/Christian Ponder conundrum is entering its second full week of being
a…thing. For those of you who HAVEN'T
heard, Vikings QB Ponder is dating ESPN college football reporter/obligatory blonde
beauty Steele. It's caused quite a
dust-up on…hell, I dunno…Deadspin? I
guess? It's the first time the dating
habits of a Minnesota athlete have been so publicly displayed since the heyday
of Ravishing Rick Rude's "What I'd like to have right now…" pre-match
promos. This is a big deal! (No, it's not.) Pick: Minnesota
Joe: I know it's annoying when people
only notice these things for selfish fantasy purposes but WHAT was that
bullshit at the end of the Bucs-Saints game last week? I'm no replacement-level
official, but HOW is it possible that the rule says that a DB shoving a WR out
the back of the end zone is neither a penalty NOR that WR is allowed to catch
the ball even after he's re-established himself in bounds? This opens up a
whole new universe of red-zone defensive strategy, if true. (Whatever, I really
needed that Mike Williams TD.) Tampa's defense looks awfully generous, and
Minnesota, on a short week, at home, et cetera, et cetera. Pick: Minnesota
San Diego at Cleveland
Aaron: There are no words to describe
how much joy the past two weeks have brought me. Here in San Diego, the
Chargers fanbase continues to loudly -- profanely! -- lament their team's
humiliating loss to Broncos. Our
eternally terrible sports-talk radio stations can't take
enough angry calls to satiate my schadenfreude. Eddie from
El Cajon! Tom from downtown! Mike from
Del Mar! More! More!
Pick: San Diego
Joe: If Phillip Rivers is even capable
of having a bounce back blowout against a bad team, this would be the week for
it. Pick: San Diego
Seattle at Detroit
Aaron: There was a
genuinely interesting discussion on DLHQ this week regarding
the racial component in the amount of criticism received/not received this
season between struggling QBs Cam Newton and Matt Stafford. As an African-American, here's my take: Stafford's the one who torpedoed my big-money
fantasy team this year, so f**k him -- regardless of color. Pick: Seattle
Joe: Not to wade into choppy waters or
anything, but Newton was also given much more praise/attention last season for
his heroics than Stafford was, so his increased scrutiny doesn't surprise me.
That said, as a fellow victim of the Matthew Stafford Fantasy Killing Spree,
I'm with you: f*ck that guy. Pick: Detroit
Jacksonville at Green Bay
Aaron: Injuries to Jacksonville's
starting quarterback and running back turned last week's Jaguars v. Raiders
game into one of the most awful offensive performances of my lifetime. And, the Packers are a
titch better than the Raiders, you guys. Analysis!
Pick: Green Bay
Joe: This is going to be a pile-on as
undignified as anything you'll see in football all year. Pick: Green
Bay
Miami at N.Y. Jets
Aaron: The Jets showed some spunk in
last week's OT loss to the Patriots.
Although, Jets head coach/defensive genius emeritus Rex Ryan would be
well served to NOT give Tom Brady 12-15 yards of free field on every snap in
the last minute of a close game. Pick:
NY Jets
Joe: Miami probably should have won
their earlier matchup this season. The Jets rarely play two good games in a
row. And despite being on the road, the hurricane conditions in New York today
should make the Dolphins feel right at home. Pick: Miami
Carolina at Chicago
Aaron: Just to recap...the Panthers
draft QB Cam Newton, hand him the keys to the franchise and ginormous
dollar-sign-labeled sacks of cash.
Newton struggles -- in just in his second season -- and is getting
killed for NOT giving clichéd postgame interviews like a 10-year veteran and
his sh*tty body language?! Let's hope he
pulls it together before he flunks out of finishing school. Pick: Chicago
Joe: Well now you've got me thinking
of Cam Newton as Will Smith in Six Degrees of Separation,
practicing the phrase "bottle of beer" over and over and over ...
Pick: Chicago
Atlanta at Philadelphia
Aaron: The "Nick Foles Era"
starts at halftime, right? If so, I'm
warning you that EVERY lede written about this on Monday will include a
terrible joke about Michael Vick, "passing the torch" and an
interception. Pick:
Philadelphia
Joe: Nothing about how his career has
gone to the dogs? Pick: Atlanta
Indianapolis at Tennessee
Aaron: Shout out to sportswriters and
talking heads everywhere for keeping the 200th "Chris Johnson is
BACK" narrative of the season as fresh as the first one. Pick: Indianapolis
Joe: If you can't have a career day
against this Bills defense, who CAN you have a career day against. Indy's the
better team, with the better QB, but they're still inconsistent. Pick:
Tennessee
New England at St. Louis
Aaron: The NFL has yet to stage a game
in London's Wembley Stadium that -- entertainment-wise -- compares to
SummerSlam 1992, held in the same venue.
And, that card included Nailz v. Virgil.
Pick: New England
Joe: Look, I missed out on the first
two times that New England lost out to unlikely NFC West competition. I don't
care if this is throwing a game away -- I want in on the ground floor this
time. Pick: St. Louis
Washington at Pittsburgh
Aaron: Surprised to see the Steelers
defense is still putting up solid numbers this season. Sure seems like they've been in a few more
shootouts than usual. They should be
able to contain the RGIII Hyperbole Machine for a few quarters, anyway. Pick: Pittsburgh
Joe: Washington's overrated, but so is
Pittsburgh, and I don't think they can keep up in a shootout. Pick:
Washington
Oakland at Kansas City
Aaron: Brady Quinn is
starting for the Chiefs at quarterback this week. Pick: Oakland
Joe:
Good point. Pick: Oakland
N.Y. Giants at Dallas
Aaron: I can never remember
all of the arcane rules that apply to NFC East v. NFC East competition, so I'll
just assume that the Giants NEVER lose to the same intra-division foe twice in
one season. Pick: NY
Giants
Joe: Yeah, this one could very well
end up being a revenge blowout, satisfying Cowboys-haters the world over. Pick:
NY Giants
New Orleans at Denver
Aaron: You know Peyton
Manning might be finding his way back to "Manning-ian" status when
sportswriters start littering their work with veiled accusations regarding his
obvious increase in arm strength since the beginning of the season. Captain Ahab and his white Canseco, I
suppose. Pick: Denver
Joe: I hate that sportswriters'
tendency to deify quarterbacks and their heroics has made me start to roll my
eyes at the mention of Drew Brees lately. I've always liked Drew Brees! Stop
making me sick of hearing about how you can never count him out or whatever!
Pick: Denver
San Francisco at Arizona
Aaron: Barack Obama and Mitt Romney
are angling for halftime interviews on Monday Night Football. Asking the questions? Chris Berman. There are men and women who sacrifice their
lives for this sh*t. Pick: San
Francisco
Joe: The NFC West's turnaround this
season is as shocking as it is life-affirming. Where's the Clint Eastwood ad
about how THIS down-and-out American institution crawled its way back from
oblivion? Pick: San Francisco
1) Homefield is meaningless
ReplyDelete2) Don't take a team to cover more than 3 unless you really really mean it.