Last Week
Joe:
10-4
Aaron: 9-5
Current Standings
Joe: 48-29
Aaron: 45-32
Pittsburgh at Tennessee
Aaron: Lots of ugly football last week
and the Steelers' unwatchable contribution followed their usual low-scoring,
formulaic slog. The Titans are
undeniably awful, but these Thursday Night games do tend to
bring out the best in the home underdogs.
Tennessee outright? Nah, but
they'll hang around long enough for late Steelers score to decide it. Pick: Pittsburgh
Joe: It's a good thing there's so much
baseball on tonight to distract from this dog of a game. Are the Steelers the
most uninteresting playoff contender in the league? Nobody even cares about Roethlisberger
and how he's a disgusting rapist anymore. They're the better team here, but I
continue to hold on to some dumb hope that the Titans are a spoiler this
season. Plus, like I said before, gotta keep these Thursday picks interesting.
Pick: Tennessee
Oakland at Atlanta
Aaron: Weird season for my Raiders, as
the media narrative surrounding them seems to change from week to week. After losing to the Dolphins in week two, the
team was "terrible". Oakland
upset Pittsburgh in week three and the team has "heart". Peyton Manning surgically removes the
Raiders' hearts in week four and we're back to "terrible". One thing hasn't changed: the Raiders'
secondary IS terrible. If you missed the
evisceration that was Buffalo at San Francisco last week, you'll get to witness
it here. Pick:
Atlanta
Joe: Nobody's
really going to have any faith in the Falcons once the
playoffs roll around, right? Pick: Atlanta
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Aaron: Is this the game in which we
all look at Cleveland's last two or three weeks as moral victories based on
their effort or relatively small margin of defeat and pick 'em to beat an
up-and-down Bengals team at home for their first victory of the season? Just checking. Pick: Cincinnati
Joe: Oh, twist my arm. Pick:
Cleveland
St. Louis at Miami
Aaron: I'm not sure that a pair of
in-division home wins are enough of a case for me to pick the Rams this
week. The Dolphins surprisingly possess
the best run defense in the league, which shouldn't surprise
anyone who can actually name someone on Miami's defensive front line. Without looking it up,
Joe. I am not that
person. Pick: Miami
Joe: I mean ... Jason Taylor, right?
Pick: Miami
Indianapolis at NY Jets
Aaron: After last week's emotional win
home win against Green Bay, the Colts will inevitably be the inspirational pick
here against the dysfunctional Jets.
But, sometimes the happy ending goes horribly wrong. Like when a rookie QB plays on the road or
for those of you who planned on voting "Democrat" in November. Pick: NY Jets
Joe: I refuse to listen to you on BOTH
those counts, sir. And I will also not mention baseball AT ALL right now. Pick:
Indianapolis
Detroit at Philadelphia
Aaron: Have the Eagles fielded the
three most famous black quarterbacks in NFL history? I need to bring this up at my barbershop next
weekend, but Randall Cunningham, Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick are 75% of the
famous black QB Mount Rushmore, no?
Who's the fourth? Warren
Moon? Good, borderline great, but
famous? Steve McNair? More famous in death. Holy cow, is it Kordell Stewart? Pick: Philadelphia
Joe: Doug Williams won a Super Bowl!
Daunte Culpepper was a 1st-round fantasy pick! Vince Young is Kordell Stewart
with a NCAA National Championship! Pick: Philadelphia
Kansas
City at Tampa Bay
Aaron: The Bucs have nice little run
defense, but a closer look at the numbers shows that they've been stopping a
sorry collection of RBs this year -- including Carolina's two-headed,
four-legged mediocrity, Dallas' perpetual black hole in the backfield and, of
course, Ahmad Bradshaw. Pick:
Kansas City
Joe: Kansas City's defense might be
the perfect salve for Tampa's sputtering offense, though. Pick: Tampa
Bay
Dallas at Baltimore
Aaron: Look, I've defended Cowboys QB
Tony Romo. I think he gets WAY too much sh*t considering the supporting cast
that Old Man Jones has brought on board.
But, the narrative after last week's loss to the Bears ("It wasn't
Romo's fault! His receivers can't run
routes!") makes me wonder if we've come all the way back around to
mollycoddling the guy. This week should
take care of that conundrum.
Pick: Baltimore
Joe: Mollycoddling! Jalen, you go out
back and cut your daddy a switch! Pick: Baltimore
New England at Seattle
Aaron: The Seahawks field a top 10
running game and a top 10 defense against both the run and the pass. They're next to last in passing offense,
though, so this one should be low-scoring and dependent on the ground
game. Seattle certainly
could steal this, but would you trust Seahawks QB Russell
Wilson to move the length of the field, if needed, to win the game? Now, how about Tom Brady? Yup.
Pick: New England
Joe: All my usual platitudes about
"It would be great to see the Pats lose but they won't" apply here.
Pick: New England
Buffalo at Arizona
Aaron: Fun fact -- With last week's
loss, Bills head coach Chan Gailey's career winning percentage is .435. It all depends on when he's fired this year,
but he still maintains a slim lead over the career winning percentage of Dick
Jauron, the previous Bills head coach (.423). So, there's that, Joe. Pick: Arizona
Joe: He's not getting fired this year.
He's a good coach. Not even kidding. Pick: Arizona
NY Giants at San Francisco
Aaron: We're six weeks into the season
and STILL haven't had one of those nonsensical week-long sports talk
conversations where we collectively ask, "What's wrong with Eli
Manning?" or "Has Tom Coughlin lost this team?" We're due.
Pick: San Francisco
Joe: Are we? I'm sensing an
overconfident letdown game. Or am I hoping for it? Pick: NY
Giants
Minnesota at Washington
Aaron: I'm not trying to make light of
this, but the Redskins QB options are a concussed Robert Griffin III or a
healthy Rex Grossman. I mean...they're
both...so... Pick:
Minnesota
Joe: Keep trying to find SOMETHING
interesting to say about this one, but I'm coming up empty. Hey! Remember when
the Redskins won the Super Bowl IN Minnesota? Perfect place for a Super Bowl,
the dead of winter in January in Minneapolis. Who'd they beat again? Pick:
Minnesota
Green Bay at Houston
Aaron: The performance of Texans RB
Arian Foster single-handedly torpedoed two of my fantasy teams last week. I'm just saying I'll be pissed if he doesn't
give that same kind of effort here, when he knows he WON'T be playing against
my fantasy team. Pick:
Houston
Joe: Whereas an uncommonly quiet day
from Andre Johnson saved by fantasy bacon. Yin and Yang! Pick:
Houston
Denver at San Diego
Aaron: I didn't think I could enjoy a
Chargers loss any more thoroughly. But, listening to their fans meticulously
piss n' moan about the officiating -- verbally breaking down the Saints game
tape like the Zapruder film -- all week long has been absolutely magical for
me. Magical. Pick: San Diego
Joe: One of these days, I want a link
to a blog written by one of Cam's neighbors or co-workers or someone who is
subject to all these anti-Chargers screeds on a daily basis. I just want to see
how the city of San Diego copes with such an assault. Pick: San
Diego
Well, I think you might have found a Chargers loss that you CAN enjoy more, Cam. Are your co-workers going to take a collection to have your smugness, uh, "adjusted"?
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