Last Week
Aaron: 9-7
Joe:
7-9
Current Standings
Joe: 27-21
Aaron: 25-23
Cleveland at Baltimore
Aaron: I read that Time-Warner Cable
and the NFL Network had reached a deal to finally bring the
channel to MY television -- and presumably to anyone else who's been impacted
by the two sides' long-standing impasse, as well. We still don't have it here in San Diego and
judging from this match-up...I'm in no rush.
Pick: Baltimore
Joe: Yeah, kind of a harsh blessing
that THIS will be my first taste of NFL Network football. I guess this game
will be the last hurrah for the replacement refs? Maybe at halftime, the
Baltimore fans can give them some nice parting gifts. You know, because the
refs obviously stole last week's game from the Patriots and handed it to the
Ravens. I read it on ESPN Boston! Pick: Baltimore
Minnesota at Detroit
Aaron: No one is putting Lions QB Matt
Stafford in the same category as former Detroit disappointments Scott Mitchell
and Joey Harrington, but neither of those guys elevated anyone's expectations
with a professional season like Stafford had last year. So, I'll split the difference and politely
implore Stafford to stop playing like perfectly serviceable former
Lions QBs like Rodney Peete and Erik Kramer! Pick: Detroit
Joe: I'm so mad at this Lions team, I
can't even tell you. I'm pretty sure I'm going to start Vikings QB Christian
Ponder over banged up (and AWFUL) Lions QB Matthew Stafford, so congratulations
on your first big win of the year, Detroit. Pick: Detroit
Seattle at St. Louis
Aaron: The Seahawks spent a generation
in a joint custody arrangement between irrelevance and anonymity, before
playing in one of the worst-officiated Super Bowls ever, making the playoffs
with a 7-9 record and, of course, last Monday night's..."incident" --
all in the past five years (or so).
They're the better team here, but I'm amused by the thought of the
sad-sack St. Louis Rams playing the role of karma-dispenser. Pick: St. Louis
Joe: Ugh, NOTHING worse than when Cam
takes my upset pick before I can. Nothing! Pick: St. Louis
San Francisco at NY Jets
Aaron: In the aftermath, no one will
care that Jets QB Mark Sanchez went up against a ferocious defense that was
hellbent on taking out last week's loss on someone. I'm not saying there's a LOT of context to
consider, but it might be time to realize that Sanchez can't win by himself,
Jets fans. Pick: San
Francisco
Joe: The one good thing about this
Jets team and their fans -- at least the fans KNOW they're being asshole when
they start to agitate for Tim Tebow. Meanwhile, it was nice to see the
Unbeatable Niners bubble burst by the unlikely Vikings, but it's probably too
much to hope for two in a row. Pick: San Francisco
San Diego at Kansas City
Aaron: The only depressing aspect of
the Chargers' 27-3 loss to Atlanta last week?
The game was blacked out here in San Diego. Kansas City has been a house o' horrors for
the Chargers in recent years -- last Halloween night, QB Philip Rivers famously
fumbled deep in Chiefs' territory on what would've been the game-winning drive
-- but, Kansas City's one win (vs. New Orleans) is mathematically more
fraudulent than the Chargers' two.
It's math!
Pick: San Diego
Joe: I kind of love how tightly
professional sports talkers cling to their narratives. Norv Turner's Chargers
have started slowly so often that nobody seems at all concerned about that
drubbing by the Falcons. Oh, they'll figure it out! You gotta trust me, guys:
find a running game. Pick: San Diego
Tennessee at Houston
Aaron: Part of me is hoping the Titans
comically mock Houston by wearing throwbacks paying tribute to their
short-lived tenure as the "Tennessee Oilers", culminating in a
glorious heel turn by Houston Oilers legend Earl Campbell who -- from his wheelchair -- will
interrupt the pregame coin toss, take the microphone and blame the concrete
turf of the Astrodome for the physical ruination of his legs. He'll close with, "You didn't
DESERVE the Oilers, Houston. And, you
didn't deserve ME!" [Mic drop]
Pick: Houston
Joe: First-ever 3-0 start for the
Texans! They look legitimately exciting! Isn't it about time for that
season-devastating injury to strike? Pick: Houston
Carolina at Atlanta
Aaron: So...when did we collectively
agree to bash Panthers QB Cam Newton for his somber -- albeit melodramatic --
postgame comments after Carolina's loss to the Giants last week? Sports Illustrated's Peter
King even used the reaction of Ravens WR Torrey Smith (whose brother tragically
past away last weekend) as a critical comparison to Newton's, holding it up as,
what, deserving of a dirge?
Newton is struggling and his biggest fault is caring too much? 'K, got it.
Pick: Atlanta
Joe: Yeah, it really seems like people
were waiting for Cam to struggle a bit so they could haul out those old college
grudges. It would be nice to see him really air it out against the Falcons, but
Atlanta's defense really does seem much improved. Pick: Atlanta
New England at Buffalo
Aaron: If we're to believe ESPN.com's
most popular online personality, the ending of the Patriots' loss to the Ravens
last week was on par with the Green Bay/Seattle game from this past Monday
night -- even though the Baltimore field goal looked pretty damn good, after
multiple replay looks. The same ESPN.com
guy also believes the Pats could be 3-0, if not for those meddling
kids replacement referees.
I'd feel a LOT better about the Bills here if their running backs were
100%. Pick: New
England
Joe: You and me both. I know better
than to get my hopes up for a team that beat two bad teams and lost to one
mediocre one, but New England looks about as beatable as they have since the
Matt Cassel season. Still ... nah. Pick: New England
Cincinnati at Jacksonville
Aaron: Yeesh. Well, I like that the Jaguars can run the
ball. And, since the Bengals' run
defense has been pretty porous in the early going, let's use the ol' "pick
the team who has the best player between 'em" tactic. Pick: Jacksonville
Joe: Am I crazy, or do the Bengals
look like they could frustrate teams enough to make a run at a wild card this
season too? Pick: Cincinnati
Miami at Arizona
Aaron: Maybe we
should hold off on printing playoff tickets until dueling QBs Kevin Kolb and
John Skelton can consistently channel the spirits of Kurt Warner and...I can't
think of another decent Cardinals QB.
But, here's a fun fact: in 1994, the Cardinals started Steve Beuerlein
(7), Jay Schroeder (8) and Jim McMahon (1) at QB...and went
8-8! Pick:
Arizona
Joe: Can NO ONE remember Neil Lomax??
Anyway, I am a definite believer in that Cardinals defense. But ... but ...
4-0? I can't. Maybe I'm just hoping for a suicide-pool-busting result here, but
... Pick: Miami
Oakland at Denver
Aaron: I'll take credit for picking
the Raiders' upset win last week, even though I missed wildly on the
specifics. RB Darren McFadden has had
some huge games against the Broncos over the past few years and Carson Palmer
could go off here, but the Raiders are still REALLY weak in the secondary. Broncos in a shootout and Peyton Manning looks
like Peyton Manning in the final two minutes. Pick: Denver
Joe: YOU try making sense of these
intra-AFC West matchups. Pick: Oakland
Washington at Tampa Bay
Aaron: The Bucs have been pretty spry
in the early going. The defense looks
respectable and the offense -- at least against the Giants, two weeks ago --
looked good. Redskins QB Robert Griffin
III still has some bank from his week #1 performance in New Orleans, but at
some point, he's going to have to that again. Pick: Tampa Bay
Joe: Tampa's not going to be an easy
out for anyone this season, but the Redskins have their backs against the wall,
and for the first time in forever, they have a player with the goods to harness
that desperation. Pick: Washington
New Orleans at Green Bay
Aaron: Yes, it was bad call(s) at the
end of last Monday night's game. But, the officiating atrocity that was
unleashed on the Packers and their fanbase's hokey small-town sense of
self-worth was like watching the referees crap on every speech at the
Republican National Convention. So...win?
Pick: Green Bay
Joe: Okay, can we talk about how
hilarious the State of Emergency SportCenter after last Monday's game was?
Everybody adopted that pitched-but-sorrowful tone that is usually reserved for
a Munich Olympics-like disaster. "Our greatest hopes and our worst fears
are seldom realized," Steve Young intoned to Mike Tirico. "Our worst
fears have been realized tonight. They're gone. The Packers' chances of going
15-1 with no running game and a surprisingly porous offensive line are all
gone." Pick: Green Bay
NY Giants at Philadelphia
Aaron: My friend Tom has a meticulous
set of rules for seemingly every intra-division game involving NFC East
teams. I'm assuming "Mike Vick has
looked like sh*t this season" is, like, rule number one. Pick: NY Giants
Joe: True enough! Plus the Giants look
like a team that took seven quarters before they remembered that they're really
good. Pick: NY Giants
Chicago at Dallas
Aaron: Since I'm stealing the
prognostication methodology of others, I might as well mention that Joe offered
up an interesting "win one, lose one, win one..." idea for the
Cowboys' fortunes a few weeks ago. I
mean, I was going to pick Chicago anyway, but now it's more like betrayal. Pick: Chicago
Joe: Damn, I thought I'd be able to
pick one up here. Pick: Chicago
Hey, I remember Neil Lomax! Good quarterback who has been unfortunately overlooked when discussing 80s NFL history.
ReplyDeleteAnd I nearly choked on my lunch at the Jim McKay/Munich reference. Hilarious!
I don't understand how in the world my Cardinals are 4-0. Maybe because Joe always picks against them? KEEP IT UP!!!
ReplyDeleteUhh, NFL Network IS on Time Warner-San Diego. Channel 355/356. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm now going to stick pins in my Dennis Allen voodoo doll and marvel at his ability to neuter Darren McFadden all by himself.
Hoping to see J's game next weekend!