2010 NFL Pickery -- Week #5

Last Week:

Joe: 11-3
Tom: 11-3
Aaron: 7-7


Overall:

Joe: 43-19
Tom: 37-25
Aaron: 34-28


N.Y. Giants at Houston

Aaron: A few plays before the Giants' swarming, suffocating defense knocked out Bears QB Jay Cutler last week, I turned to Mrs. Bootleg and remarked, "New York's D might kill someone tonight." After injuring Chicago's second-string QB Todd Collins, the Bears practically surrendered when their third-string QB (Caleb Hanie) threw short and over-the-middle on fourth and long late in a two-possession game. Perhaps having the Giants defense take the month of September off was a wise move, after all. Pick: NY Giants

Joe: Yeah, but Houston can run the ball where the Bears really couldn't. The Giants can win this game, but it's going to have to be with their offense. Pick: Houston


Jacksonville at Buffalo

Aaron: 15 years ago, my hometown of Los Angeles lost both the Rams and Raiders. With the removal of the near-weekly TV blackouts, LA fans were assured of an NFL doubleheader every Sunday afternoon. Remember that when you successfully persuade either the Jaguars or Bills to relocate by the end of this decade, LA. Pick: Buffalo

Joe: Meanwhile, I'm told this game will be blacked out in Buffalo, a relative rarity even for a franchise as moribund as the Bills. It's a shame, because this might well be their one win of the season. Pick: Buffalo


Chicago at Carolina

Aaron: The Panthers haven't won a game since naming Jimmy Clausen the starting quarterback – and this was WITH their best player (WR Steve Smith) on the field. The story out of Carolina is that Smith will miss this game with an ankle injury. The truth? I don't think he wants to face a pissed-off Bears' defense that just might act out the opening scene of The Last Boy Scout on the hapless Panthers. Timely. Pick: Chicago

Joe: Did you make that Last Boy Scout reference just so you could use it in your promotional tweet? Because ... respect. Pick: Chicago


Atlanta at Cleveland

Aaron: How long is the "novelty" meme that follows every white non-QB, non-OL offensive player going to last? The black quarterback story died somewhere between Doug Williams and Donovan McNabb. The black head coach thing was scuttled once and for all when Tony Dungy's Colts met Lovie Smith's Bears in the Super Bowl. The juvenile nonsense surrounding Cleveland's white FB Peyton Hillis is ridiculous. Besides, my own "black guy who likes baseball and craft beers" bit is infinitely more interesting. Pick: Atlanta

Joe: If you're not going to let me make my Matt Suhey/Nick Goings jokes, I'll just take my business elsewhere. Pick: Atlanta


Tampa Bay at Cincinnati

Aaron: All season, I've been able to identify the games that have a bit of an upset buzz while getting burned by NOT picking the upset. (See: last week's win by those jerkface Cleveland Browns.) The Bucs are coming off of a bye week and there are some prognosticators who think Tampa Bay has a chance here. As for me...you know the drill. Pick: Cincinnati

Joe: This Tampa team seems like they'd be fun to root for. No expectations but enough talent to pull through every so often, so every win must seem like a total triumph. Still not sure I have a handle on this Bengals team, besides the fact that they're not that great. Pick: Tampa Bay


Kansas City at Indianapolis

Aaron: 20 years ago this week, the Colts defeated the Chiefs 23-19 in Indianapolis. And, while Peyton Manning could retire today as a certain Hall of Famer; the journeyman, role players and short-time superstars from 1990 simply can't be beat. That KC/Indy game alone featured Steve DeBerg, Christian Okoye and Barry Word for the Chiefs. Meanwhile, the Colts were led by Jack Trudeau at QB with an eager-to-learn Jeff George waiting in the wings. Unpopular, flat-top haircut, acid-washed jeans Aaron misses those days. Pick: Indianapolis

Joe: Of course you do -- your Raiders were in the midst of a 12-4 season where they'd win the AFC West and make it all the way to the AFC Championship game, where ... hold on, let me look this up ... sorry, my internet's kinda slow, I'll get back to you. Pick: Indianapolis


Denver at Baltimore

Aaron: It's the Broncos' top-ranked passing game vs. the Ravens' top-ranked passing defense. When the teams are this evenly matched, it's time to go to each city's representative sitcoms. Denver is arguably best known for Mork & Mindy (which actually took place in Boulder, CO, but really...same city) and Roc put Baltimore on the map. Hmmm...Robin Williams vs. Charles S. Dutton. Pam Dawber vs. the middle-aged black woman in TLC's Waterfalls video. Wow. Surprisingly, no contest. Pick: Baltimore

Joe: I know the Broncos won last week when I said they were terrible, but I'm still not buying this "evenly matched" stuff. Joe Flacco's been playing well the last two weeks, despite failing Bill Simmons's crucial "looks like an awesome guy" test. Pick: Baltimore


St. Louis at Detroit

Aaron: The Rams haven't played a team that currently has a winning record, but their defense is now fourth in the NFL, y'all. With rookie Lions RB Jahvid Best limited and still nursing a toe injury, is a road game in Detroit really that dangerous for a young Rams team? (Assuming, of course, that the Rams' pre-game/post-game security motorcade includes plenty of ED-209's.) Pick: St. Louis

Joe: If Detroit can manage to not let the intensity drop too much from facing the Packers to facing the Rams, I'm thinking this is the perfect opportunity for win #1. St. Louis is an up-and-coming team, but they're not "pick 'em on the road" good yet. Pick: Detroit


Green Bay at Washington

Aaron: That Green Bay bandwagon seems to have slowed down a bit. Should a loss to a fired-up Bears team in Chicago and a lackluster two-point win at home against the last-place Lions be any kind of cause for alarm? Not this week, as Redskins QB Donovan McNabb is reintroduced to his good friend, the letdown game. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: Not to mention that after the quick 14-0 first quarter lead against the Eagles, neither McNabb nor the Redskins looked all that impressive anyway. As for the Packers, I have to wonder how in the world they let the Seahawks make that trade for Marshawn Lynch. This is a team with legitimate Super Bowl aspirations and their one glaring weakness is at running back, and they managed to let Seattle take Lynch for a 4th round pick? Is a Super Bowl title not worth a third-round draft pick? A second-round pick? For a running back who's better than the guy who got injured in the first place? I know I have a self-interest in seeing my team get a better draft pick, but they're just gonna stand pat with Brandon Jackson? All right, then. Pick: Green Bay


New Orleans at Arizona

Aaron: The Saints' three wins have been by a margin of five, three and two points. The Cardinals have surrendered 41 points in two of the past three weeks. If you had to pick one of these two trends to continue, which would it be? No, no...take your time. I'll wait. Pick: New Orleans

Joe: Cam comes at you with stats, I come at you with this: the Cardinals' two wins have come against the Raiders and Rams, and their starting quarterback does the Bills the favor of making Ryan Fitzpatrick the second-least likely starting NFL QB. Pick: New Orleans


Tennessee at Dallas

Aaron: I still can't believe the Cowboys opened as seven point favorites against any team with a running game like Tennessee's. But, then again, the Dallas defense is strong enough to befuddle boy-genius QB Vince Young and force another Kerry Collins relief appearance on America. Pick: Dallas

Joe: (You guys, no one tell Aaron that this is another one of those times he's recognizing upset potential and then picking against it.) Pick: Tennessee


San Diego at Oakland

Aaron: It'd be nice if you could win a game against these guys, Raiders. It's not easy living here in San Diego when you lose. Year-round, temperate 72-degree sunshine and avocado served on everything, aside. Pick: San Diego

Joe: The Raiders have to like San Diddy's win-one, lose-one approach to the season. This game worries me as a Phillip Rivers fantasy owner. Also, my early-season picks lead has made me reckless. Pick: Oakland


Philadelphia at San Francisco

Aaron: Eagles QB Kevin Kolb got lots of postgame props for his fill-in work versus the Redskins last week. His 22 for 35 completion count was solid enough, but I'm going to judge him with my own eyes and ears. I only caught his final drive, when he was overthrowing everyone in the stadium and the always-tolerant Philadelphia fans were letting him have it. And, based on those four plays... Pick: San Francisco

Joe: I have to agree. Kolb was looking Edwardsian (as in "Trent Edwards-ian") last week, and the Niners are getting waaaay too much hate for a team that nearly beat the Saints and Falcons. Pick: San Francisco


Minnesota at N.Y. Jets

Aaron: Honestly, I love that the shocking concept of "Randy Moss, malcontent" (and his resultant trade to Minnesota) can dominate the sports-news cycle. Moss was peeved and disinterested for four weeks in New England versus the two entire seasons he took off in Oakland. The media's reaction reminded me of Johnny Damon's "shocking" free agent departure from Boston several years ago. Has stuff never happened until it occurs within a 300-mile radius of Bristol, Connecticut? Pick: Minnesota

Joe: Look, I hate Boston and ESPN as much as the next guy, but the fact that a future Hall of Famer was such a disruption that he caused a mid-season trade in the NFL somehow shouldn't have been a huge story? Personally, I'm just angry that more people weren't talking about how, with Moss, Favre, and Jared Allen, the Vikings have managed to wrest "Most Hateable Sports Franchise" away from the Miami Heat. (...What's that? People are still buying the Poor Poor Cleveland storyline? Fine.) Pick: NY Jets