"Coming Attractions"? More Like "Coming EAT-tractions"! Eh?!

My lightly-read blog's fast food reviews have taken on a life of their own. I'm not complaining, since they're my favorite bit of blog fodder to write up. However, I've picked a bad time to get WAY behind. According to my cell phone camera, I still need to share my experiences with Wendy's Bacon & Blue Cheese Burger, Lo-Lo's Chicken & Waffles in Arizona, the "Cleveland Dog" vs. "Cincinnati Dog" debate from the Indians spring training complex and the sad ending to my quest for the Dunkin' Donuts waffle breakfast sandwich.

But, it's hard to find quality time with my laptop when America's expedient grease peddlers keep reaching out to me. Here are three more fast food meals coming soon to my stomach:

Taco Bell's Tortadas -- The 3:00 AM Mexican takeout purist in me wants to call "shenanigans" on Taco Bell for the name of this new menu item. Isn't a "tortada" actually a cake? And, this sure as hell isn't a "torta" which is a delicious Mexican sandwich served on a bolillo. Snobbery aside, Taco Bell's Salsa Roja Tortada is filled with grilled chicken, red sauce and a three-cheese blend. Their Bacon Ranch Tortada includes bacon, bacon and a bacon-bacon blend. Sold.

Burger King's XT Burgers -- It's been awhile since I've been to Burger King, but I'm intrigued by their "XT" line of burgers. I've heard good things about the limited-time-only Smoky Cheddar version, so now might be as good a time as any to partake. Also, I appreciate the fact that BK didn't douche-out and label these burgers as "XTreme" -- which they totally would've done ten years earlier. Don't deny it, Burger King.

KFC's Double-Down Sandwich -- The Colonel goes nationwide with this caloric apocalypse on April 12, y'all. The Double-Down is made with two breaded Original Recipe white meat chicken filets (grilled chicken is also available, but what's the point?), two slices of bacon, Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese, and something called "Colonel's Sauce" -- everything, but a bun. There is no way this sandwich could live up to hype. There is also no way I won't be at KFC sometime next week.