Seattle at Buffalo
Aaron: Lots of talk about the Bills being one of the obligatory "surprise teams" in '08. Is QB Trent Edwards still on salary? Does Buffalo still feature the teeniest linebackers in the business? Yes to both, you say? Pick: Seattle
Joe: My pick-against-the-Bills reverse-jinx strategy proved to be too inconsistent to sustain (kind of like the 7-9 Bills). But I'm also not confident to play the homer each week. Which leaves me having to pick each week's game on its own merits. Let me tell you, that shit is for the birds. Pick: Buffalo
Detroit at Atlanta
Aaron: New Falcons QB Matt Ryan is being asked to revive an entire franchise, win over an indifferent fan base and, someday, bring the first ever Super Bowl championship to the ATL. Notre Dame ain't on your schedule this year, yo. Pick: Detroit
Joe: The Falcons in the midst of a whole lot of restructuring, with the new QB, RB, coach, and now having to compete for hometown attention with the Real Housewives of Atlanta. But I have picking Detroit on the road. Pick: Atlanta
Cincinnati at Baltimore
Aaron: When did Chad
Joe: And for the third season in a row, I remain mystified at your lack of appreciation for the one-man carnival of joy that is the Ocho Cinco experience. Props to the VH1 references, though. Pick: Cincinnati
St. Louis at Philadelphia
Aaron: Hey, it's Week #1. This means it's time for the Eagles to unrealistically raise expectations of Philly fans in advance of the team's eventual season-deflating loss which spirals them into oblivion. On an unrelated note, good luck in Dallas next week, Mr. McNabb. Pick: Philadelphia
Joe: Everybody keeps saying the Rams can't possibly be as bad as they were last season. I guess that's the difference with me. I look at the 2008 Rams and say "Why not?" Pick: Philadelphia
Houston at Pittsburgh
Aaron: Is Ben Roethlisberger the least attractive good quarterback since John Elway? Seriously, his head looks like a loaf of bread that needs 15 more minutes in the oven. What? This is a blog! You expect me to be catty. Pick: Pittsburgh
Joe: Yeah, but if he were any more attractive, he'd be getting shit for doing beer bongs with college girls. That's right, people: Matt Leinart is being unfairly persecuted for his good looks. You know it's true. (By the way, I'm pretty sure I'm picking the Steelers to make the Super Bowl.) Pick: Pittsburgh
Jacksonville at Tennessee
Aaron: Is it my imagination or has everyone abandoned the Vince Young bandwagon? There weren't even that many preseason stories on how Young's "more confident than ever", including adjectives like "pivotal" and nouns like "crossroads". Heaven help us if the liberal media loses a Black QB to champion. Pick: Jacksonville
Joe: I'd like to know how Jacksonville is supposed to ascend to Super Bowl contender status with Jerry Porter as the class of their WR crop. I ask you! That being said, there's a reason nobody's picking Tennessee to return to the playoffs. Pick: Jacksonville
Tampa Bay at New Orleans
Aaron: Wait...Saints QB Drew Brees threw for more than 4,000 yards last year? When did this happen? It sure as hell wasn't during any of the ten weeks he killed my '07 fantasy team. How did I miss the headlines of his six straight 660 yard games to end the season? Pick: New Orleans
Joe: Well Drew and his shape-shifting birthmark are my fantasy team's problem now. In other news, with Warrick Dunn, Joey Galloway, Ike Hilliard, Derrick Brooks, and Jeff Garcia, Tampa Bay takes the mantle as the NFL's oldest team. On the bright side, I think that means they're qualified to be President. Pick: New Orleans
Kansas City at New England
Aaron: Guess who has the easiest schedule in the league this season? OK, I get that the Pats can't be blamed for the AFC East, but why do they get the same dregs of the West Coast as even the worst teams in their division? And, is anyone else shocked that the networks haven't started the hype for Week #2's Favre/Brady match-up yet? Pick: New England
Joe: In case you were curious, the humiliating and wholly satisfying defeat of the Patriots in the Super Bowl hasn't dulled my hatred any. Pick: New England
N.Y. Jets at Miami
Aaron: I know who's lining up under center for the Jets. I know that their flawed erstwhile QB Chad Pennington is only a Miami stopgap for a season or two. And, I know that any team depending on RB Ricky Williams is going to lose three of every four. Meh. Joe always kills me in Week #1, anyway. Pick: Miami
Joe: Cam makes the pick I wanted to here. Instead, looks like I'll be erring on the side of pessimism. Pick: NY Jets
Arizona at San Francisco
Aaron: Call me crazy, but I think the Kurt Warner to Boldin/Fitzgerald combo will win more games than people think. OK, well, they'll win games against teams as awful as San Francisco. Pick: Arizona
Joe: Even though I mentioned The Passion of Matt Leinart's Pretty Face up there, I do think the Cards are probably better off with Warner in the short term. Good thing they were only a game or two away from the Super Bowl last year, right? Pick: Arizona
Carolina at San Diego
Aaron: For a supposed Super Bowl contender, the Chargers have a lot of question marks. There are injuries on both sides of the ball and the '07 team relied on a TON of career years from players not likely to repeat them. You stay classy, LaDanian. Pick: San Diego
Joe: Aw, I missed the rabid Charger-hating in these columns. I really did. That being said, I'm with Cam: the Chargers are a better bet for a letdown season than a Super Bowl trip. Pick: San Diego
Dallas at Cleveland
Aaron: As good as I think the Cowboys will be this year, they can't hold a candle to those hookers-n-coke fueled teams of 10-15 years ago. That there are still people up in arms about the 'Boys bringing in Pac-Man, Tank, and TO is just some damn fine amnesia. Pick: Dallas
Joe: I keep wanting to pick Dallas to win the Super Bowl, but as long as Wade Phillips and Jessica Simpson are within a hundred miles of Texas Stadium's famed half-assed dome, I won't be able to feel good about it. Pick: Dallas
Chicago at Indianapolis
Aaron: Hey, two Black head coaches! On Opening Weekend! You don't care? Racist. Pick: Indianapolis
Joe: The fall from Super Bowl to Game I Could Give a Shit ABout is a precipitous one indeed. Pick: Indianapolis
Minnesota at Green Bay
Aaron: Just to recap: Packers QB Aaron Rodgers survived Brett Favre's petulant attempts to sabotage him AND has told Packers fans to get behind him or STFU. Looks like I've found this year's "team to root for until Al Davis dies". Pick: Green Bay
Joe: I'm with you in spirit, Cam, but I think the growing pains will last a bit longer for
Denver at Oakland
Aaron: The Raiders always play the Broncos tough. I'm pretty sure they covered the spread in both of their meetings last year. Sadly, the Broncos are just three point favorites, so Oakland ain't winning and ain't covering. Pick: Denver
Joe: Call me crazy, but I think Oakland's resurgence comes this season. Too bad their so-called fans are so faithless. Are the other face-painting weirdos this fickle? Pick: Oakland
The Sure Thing Suicide Spread
Aaron: Seattle (-1) at Buffalo. This one stinks of last year's Bills opener, when a plucky and precious Buffalo squad lost on a last second FG to Denver. 22-20, Seattle.
Joe: Dallas (-5.5) at Cleveland. I'm pulling for Cleveland to buck the predictions of a letdown season, but Dallas has them outgunned, badly.
As a former IP alum, I hope you'll let me make a guest pick one day.
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