C-Webb Radio is Sic! (sic)

I've previously mentioned that I'm an XM Radio subscriber. It's cool, I s'pose. Mrs. Bootleg got it for me a few birfdays ago, primarily for the Major League Baseball. Unfortunately, that's a bit of a blessing and a curse, as I can no longer procrastinate on weekend errands with "I'll leave in 10 minutes. I wanna see Kurt Suzuki hit in the eighth." (Screw you, readers…my A's will be good again, someday!)

As for the music, I spend most of my time with XM's dual "urban" stations. And, this past Saturday, I was handsomely rewarded for my hood loyalty with the debut of "C-Webb Radio" on XM's Raw (Channel 66). Y'see, it's hosted by former good basketball player Chris Webber.

You know the routine: "celebrity" DJ promotes his new endeavor while spinning albums in a desperate attempt to remain relevant.

Well, the great thing is that C-Webb had nothing to do (this week's edition was recorded before he signed with Golden State Warriors a few weeks ago), so all we were left with was desperation!

Now, for the record, I listened to maybe an hour of his two-hour show. It was entirely on my way to and from the barber shop. I didn't jot any notes down, but the following were all random quotes and moments from Chris Webber, the host of "C-Webb Radio". (Most are from memory and, consequently, paraphrased, but it's all as close as I can get it…)

"When you talk about that old school West Coast gangsta sound, just one word comes to mind: Ice Cube." (Awkward pause as some producer's gotta be talking in Webber's ear.) "That's two words?"

"I'mma play something from m'man Common. But, I don't wanna play one of his songs that y'all have heard a million times. How 'bout this one…?" (opening notes of "I Used to Love H.E.R." hit…)

"You know what song I'm feeling right now? You know what song I wanna play for all y'all, right now? I wanna play that new one from Beanie Sigel featuring Styles P. Umm, I don't know the name of it, but it's HOT, though! C'mon, DJ…it's like track four on Beanie's last album."

"Aww, yeah…that was off that, uhh…Outkast…uhh…'Aqua-MAN-nee' album. 'A-QUEE-meen…' I mean, I can't pronounce it, but it was HOT!"

"That's my n*gga, Andre 2000…"

"We're nearing the end of the show, it's the ninth inning stretch…"

OK…I get that not all of y'all follow rap, so the above Ralph Kiner-isms probably went right by you. But, trust me…I just scratched the surface with C-Webb. Better than anything else I mentioned were the times (plural!) when he'd introduce a song, then proceed to spit an entire verse from said song before it began. And, by my count, he was getting every third word wrong. For f*ck's sake, who doesn't know the words to "Nuthin' But A G Thang"?!

Hello, weekly TBG feature!