TBG's NFL Pickery Spectacular - Week #16 (...and the rest)

Cleveland at Cincinnati

Aaron: So, with 12-24 months of hindsight, Bengals fans, would you rather have the lawless band of rogues on your roster and a division title or a slightly less arrested-at-2AM crew and the comfort of 10+ loss season? Pick: Cleveland

Joe: Jonathan Joseph isn't walking through that door, people. AJ Nicholson isn't walking through that door. Chris Henry isn't...oh no, wait, here he is. Regardless... Pick: Cleveland


Green Bay at Chicago

Aaron: So, which Star Wars quote best embodies Brett Favre: (1) "He is more machine now, than man...twisted and evil" or (2) "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine". Christ, I just scared myself. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: Bears QB Kyle Orton gets his quote from Return of the Jedi: "I'm endangering the mission, I shouldn't have come." Pick: Green Bay


Houston at Indianapolis

Aaron: Has there been a more anonymous 12-2 season in recent league history? If not for the last 10 minutes of the Pats game and an inexplicable missed FG in the Chargers game, the Colts could be the team that America hates! With the Patriots (whom we hated already). Pick: Indianapolis

Joe: So the Colts have nothing to play for while the Texans are fighting for their first winning season in franchise history? This is how I talk myself into dumb picks. Pick: Houston


Kansas City at Detroit

Aaron: Watching the Chargers' practice squad mop the floor with the lifeless Lions in the 2nd half last week wasn't pretty. Good thing the Chiefs packed it in around Halloween. Pick: Detroit

Joe: This is the Lions' last chance to pick up a victory and fall short of Jon Kitna's pre-season prediction by three games rather than four. Pick: Detroit


N.Y. Giants at Buffalo

Aaron: I think fans and the media make WAY too much over the "inspirational" angles. But, after reading in last week's SI how Bills TE Kevin Everett went from certain paralysis to now walking...hell, even I wanted to stand up and cheer. He'll reportedly be in Buffalo for the Bills' final home game on Sunday. Pick: Buffalo

Joe: For the record, Everett gave a message of inspiration to the team before the Patriots game last month. 56-10, in case you forgot. Pick: NY Giants


Oakland at Jacksonville

Aaron: The Jags are my 2007 rooting interest for this year's playoffs. May their run be as successful as my 2006 rooting interest: "Anyone but the f*cking Chargers". Seriously, people, if you lived out here, you'd hate 'em, too. Pick: Jacksonville

Joe: Jeez, Cam. You talk about the Chargers in these picks almost as much as you desperately avoid talking about the Raiders. Pick: Jacksonville


Philadelphia at New Orleans

Aaron: I only made the playoffs in one of my fantasy leagues this year. Behind QB Kurt Warner and God's will, I won last week. This week, Willie Parker carries once and breaks his leg. So, umm, Mr. Westbrook...I need you to play like two guys here. K thx. Pick: Philadelphia

Joe: Here's where Pro Bowl snubbees Drew Brees and Marques Colston wreak havoc on their hapless opponents. Pick: New Orleans


Atlanta at Arizona

Aaron: Between the ruining of his franchise QB and the head coach who betrayed him and being left at the altar by Bill F'n Parcells, Falcons owner Arthur Blank should just embrace the 1940s sad-sack cartoon caricature that he's become. What's that theme music they all had? "Waa WAAAAH". It's funnier when you say it out loud. Pick: Arizona

Joe: Bill O'Reilly is blaming Atlanta's woes on karmic payback for Ludacris and his boastful vulgarity. Also the War On Christmas. Pick: Arizona


Tampa Bay at San Francisco

Aaron: Sorry, 49er fans...when you sold your collective souls to Satan just to be able to call yourselves "The Team of the Decade" (the '80s!...that was so long ago!) this was the inevitable consequence. Pick: Tampa Bay

Joe: As for the playoff-bound Bucs and their squinty-faced, looks like this Chucky has as many lives in him as his cinematic namesake. Look for assistant coach Jennifer Tilly on the sidelines next season. Pick: Tampa Bay


Baltimore at Seattle

Aaron: Might be time to let go of that near miss against New England, Baltimore. Pick: Seattle

Joe: Not that it'll matter against a team that still hasn't stopped bitching about the Super Bowl two years ago. Of course, I'll be bitching about Shaun Alexander for at least that long, so... Pick: Seattle


Miami at New England

Aaron: Hmmm...douchebag Pats fans on the verge of an undefeated regular season or douchebag '72 Dolphins players - sure to be in attendance - on the verge of seeing their entire reason to live snuffed out in a few weeks. C'mon on, dirty bomb. Pick: New England

Joe: Seriously. No matter who wins, we all lose. Pick: New England


N.Y. Jets at Tennessee

Aaron: All Vince Young does is win football games, occasionally. Pick: Tennessee

Joe: Can't top that. Won't try. Pick: Tennessee


Washington at Minnesota

Aaron: The Vikes are 1st in rushing and 30th in passing this year. Is it possible to play all eleven men on the defensive line against them? Is that against the rules? Pick: Minnesota

Joe: And underestimate the WR tandem of Chris and Anthony Carter? ...Those are still the Vikings wideouts, right? Pick: Minnesota


Denver at San Diego

Aaron: That's right, America...ESPN broadcasts Christmas Eve from San Diego. We promise to import all the snow, chestnuts and wind chill that makes your holiday season so much better than ours. It's gotta be gone by the 25th, though, cuz we're grilling ribeyes and eating dinner out on our deck on Xmas Day. But, no...your way of life is better. And that sweater looks great on you! Pick: San Diego

Joe: It's times like these, when the petty squabbling between the White-Christmasers and the Green-Christmasers really escalates, that I begin to wish for the speedy arrival of global climate change so that we can all celebrate Christmas the same way. Under water. God bless us, everyone! Pick: San Diego